I've been suicidal..

[Brittiemarlow]

Hi, i'm Brittanie and i'm 17 years old. The past month has been the hardest of my life. I was diagnosed with General Anxiety Disorder 2 days ago, and they're going to be putting me on zoloft pretty soon. I'm not sure what to do, I don't feel myself. I feel suicide is the only way out of these scary thoughts. I moved for the first time in my life recently, i'm growing up. SO Much stress. I just want my life back... I want to be me. I feel completely depersonalized from everything/one around me. It's affecting my relationships... I don't know what to ****ing do anymore. My mom and I fight all the time, and no one understands the thoughts going through my mind. No one. I feel so alone. I want to run away from it all. Or die. Someone tell me it's going to be okay, please... I'm terrified.

[denise_xo]

Hi there,

 

I've been suicidal, too, and I got a lot of different help to get over it. So in my experience, it can definitely turn out okay in the end, but you need to do a few things to make that happen.

 

Since you've said you just received a diagnosis, are you in contact with doctors who could give you some medication for your depression, and who can refer you to a counsellor?

 

Do you have any friends or other family members (aunts? cousins?) that you can get some support from?

[theBrokenMuse]

Hi, i'm Brittanie and i'm 17 years old. The past month has been the hardest of my life. I was diagnosed with General Anxiety Disorder 2 days ago, and they're going to be putting me on zoloft pretty soon. I'm not sure what to do, I don't feel myself. I feel suicide is the only way out of these scary thoughts. I moved for the first time in my life recently, i'm growing up. SO Much stress. I just want my life back... I want to be me. I feel completely depersonalized from everything/one around me. It's affecting my relationships... I don't know what to ****ing do anymore. My mom and I fight all the time, and no one understands the thoughts going through my mind. No one. I feel so alone. I want to run away from it all. Or die. Someone tell me it's going to be okay, please... I'm terrified.

As someone who was also diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Social Phobia and Major Depressive Disorder in my teens please allow me to tell you that it can and does get better.

[hART]

This might be more serious than anxiety, I'd talk to your doctor and be 100% honest about what is going on. If the pills are making you depressed, you defiantly need to talk to a doctor asap and join a depression support group. there are other pills without such horrific side effects. Stay strong, you will make it through this.

[theBrokenMuse]

If the pills are making you depressed, you defiantly need to talk to a doctor asap and join a depression support group. there are other pills without such horrific side effects. Stay strong, you will make it through this.

She's not on pills yet.

[Crusoe]

Everything is going to be okay Brittanie, I promise. The doctors know what they are doing and when you start taking the medicine you will begin to feel better. In the meantime, when things get bad you can always call the Samaritans. They are fantastic people and will listen to you all day and all night if need be. They know, they understand, and if you call them you won't feel so alone.

 

Take care hon

[e.clipse]

Brittanie,

 

i know you have not gotten a lot of feedback from LSers, but rest assured that it is not because no one cares, but rather that these matters are better handled by professionals, are they are educated and trained in ways that we are not. i know what when someone is feeling down and they go on the internet to post their woes and do not receive any/much feedback, it is easy to think, "Oh wow, nobody cares. Not even on the Internet!" but this is not the case.

 

your life is valuable, and it is yours to live. you say that you want to "get your life back," but i'm afraid that is not possible. the way we live today is different from the way we lived yesterday and it is different from the way we will live tomorrow.

 

you have been diagnosed with a psychological disorder, and i know that is frightening. however, realize that you have already been diagnosed and that are soon going to start getting treatment for it. and you will be OK. and, in fact, i am sure you will be better.

 

when we get so overwhelmed and disconnected with life, we sometimes resort to thinking that the best solution is to exit this life. but it isn't, Brittanie. all of our lives have meaning. you are so young. don't deprive yourself of the happiness you are bound to experience in the time to come.

 

please call a suicide hotline, if you are feeling this way. call them now. you will see everything is going to be OK. i promise.

 

please post again to let us know you are OK. hugs to you.

[skydiveaddict]

Brittanie; It's HUGE step that you went to get help, many do not. Make sure you tell your doc about your suicidal thoughts (if you haven't already). I know what you are feeling right now. I've been there too. But you will make it through this. SDA

[carhill]

Hi Brittanie, welcome to LoveShack.

 

How are you feeling?

[harmfulsweetz]

I'm glad you have sought help for your problem, and are getting the treatment that you need for it.

 

I hope you feel better soon, and I do recommend that you seek a trained professional to talk through your feelings with, and I'm not sure if this website will be of any use to you but I hope you check it out.

 

http://www.anxietyzone.com/

 

It's a forum for people with anxiety disorders, with people who have similar issues as yourself. I hope it helps you not feel alone in this, it might be good to talk with people who have been exactly where you are now.

 

All the best.

[SouthernSunshine]

I too was prescribed Zoloft when I was a teen. I was diagnosed with OCD, anxiety, and manic-depressive disorder. Stopped taking the meds b/c didn't like the side effects, and then began self medicating by using meth. Needless to say, I lost my mind and had to be submitted. Fast 4ward to now.. I'm an unmedicated Bipolar, but doing fine. I go up and down.. and when I feel an anxiety attack creeping up, I do breathing exercises. Sometimes the attacks come without warning, and freak me out! I then try laughing, and joking/making light of the attacks.

 

What sort of anxiety are you experiencing? Can you describe it? Mine was social phobia/afraid of large crowds, and the feeling of.. "what am I doing here, where did I come from, what's going to happen next?" It was very scary!

 

Is there anyone you feel close to? Keep on talking, and reaching out!! I hope you get the help you need.

[hART]

Oh, I read doctor and just assumed pills were involved, I apologize. Anyway, I have been diagnosed with bipolar 1, with extreme swings to both sides. I also have anxiety, which has gotten better with therapy. Stay strong, it gets better.

[desertIslandCactus]

Hi, i'm Brittanie and i'm 17 years old. The past month has been the hardest of my life. I was diagnosed with General Anxiety Disorder 2 days ago, and they're going to be putting me on zoloft pretty soon. I'm not sure what to do, I don't feel myself. I feel suicide is the only way out of these scary thoughts. I moved for the first time in my life recently, i'm growing up. SO Much stress. I just want my life back... I want to be me. I feel completely depersonalized from everything/one around me. It's affecting my relationships... I don't know what to ****ing do anymore. My mom and I fight all the time, and no one understands the thoughts going through my mind. No one. I feel so alone. I want to run away from it all. Or die. Someone tell me it's going to be okay, please... I'm terrified.

 

It Is going to be alright Brittie.

 

You are a child of God. "Greater is he that is in you, than he that is in the world". 1John 4:4

[Stung]

I just want my life back... I want to be me.

 

Look at this, this is what you want. You definitely cannot achieve this through suicide.

 

I am not a professional therapist/counselor and that is what you need right now, but I can tell you that you are adaptable, and you will grow and change to suit the new location in which you live, and the new demands of your life as you are growing older. Give your medication a chance to help you with these stressful times, and help you learn to adapt.

 

I have no experience with anxiety disorders, but I suffered from clinical depression in my teens and 20s, and there were times I too wondered if death was the only escape from feeling like I was drowning. I can tell you now that I am so glad I went through those times, hard as they were, and learned to adapt and be stronger and learned to accept the help that I needed. I am in my thirties now and have re-emerged into light. I am a little behind some of my peers in some ways, because I spent several years battling my demons--but now I am pursuing my dream career, I am married and very much in love with my wonderful husband, I am a mother--all things I almost denied myself. I can't imagine missing out on this, or my bright, beautiful son never having been born--that would have been such a tragedy. And now that I am a mother, I cringe at the thought of the unbearable pain I would have caused my own family if I had chosen suicide as an easy way out of the darkness I was temporarily locked in.

 

Please contact a local health center and find out what kind of counseling services they offer.