Dating and Setbacks, How to Cope?

[tenderhearted]

How do you know when it's safe to start dating again?

 

My ex-bf and I have been apart for almost a year although we remained in close contact up until two months ago. During the (almost) year we've been apart I've gotten used to being single again and going through the grieving process of our breakup. I've finally accepted the fact that we are over and aren't getting back together. At one point it made me sick to my stomach to even think about either of us dating and/or having sex with anyone but each other. Just getting through the day was hard at one point but I've managed to overcome it all and am finally ok with our breakup. I think about dating someone new and falling in love again.

 

It's been two weeks though since I've had ANY contact with my EX (my choice). There was this guy and I explained to him that I'm not looking for anything long term, just friendly company. We hit it off good a few days but then it turned sour and now I am missing the EX like crazy and feel like I'm back to square one, grieving my relationship.

 

Does this mean that I need more time to heal? Will I ever stop feeling rejected, sad, mad, angry at my ex for our breakup everytime something doesn't work out between me and another guy??? I'm confused about this.

 

Can someone offer some input please?

[javachik]

Hi Tenderhearted, my guess is that you're going to hit these sorts of milestones regularly--sort of like the "first Valentines, first birthday, first Christmas" after a break up. You'll have many more post-break up "firsts" and they will be difficult but you WILL get through them. I am going through the same thing right now, and it's so terribly hard. I admire you for accepting your break up and for your restraint the last couple of weeks (in having no contact). I am only on my second day of deleting e-mails from my ex (of 16 years, off and on and now off permanently), and haven't spoken to him since last Wednesday. Hang in there.