Author Surfer203 Posted November 30, 2010 Author Share Posted November 30, 2010 What_Next: Please elaborate on "the fog" what does that mean exactly? Link to post Share on other sites
michaelhopes Posted November 30, 2010 Share Posted November 30, 2010 Damn ....it would be great if you could just grab your board, fly to your friend in California and just disappear for a few days....Literally disappear. Bad news.... 1-3' fair condition up and down the state...but California can turn epic during the winter. Might not be a good idea because you might have to protect the homefront for a while Link to post Share on other sites
Author Surfer203 Posted November 30, 2010 Author Share Posted November 30, 2010 michaelhopes: That would be lovely. I think I can swing it around Xmas time.. but I do have to worry about my wife coming back here, you are right, I DOUBT she would highly however. Plus I will change the locks soon so that she can't get in. I can really use time away from this.. it should probably wait until it is really over and she has washed her hands of me. I guess if she does choose to come back then I have to be here for the time being. I am itching to get in that gym tomorrow, so much frustration needs to come out of me. I have been holding back, it is in my nature to be mellow and kind - time for it to erupt in a healthy environment. Link to post Share on other sites
michaelhopes Posted November 30, 2010 Share Posted November 30, 2010 You're into MMA....So I have to ask you....WWFD? What would Fedor do in this situation? I guarantee he's coming back with a vengance against Werdum:cool: And he will be smarter this time....... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Surfer203 Posted November 30, 2010 Author Share Posted November 30, 2010 To be honest.. I am not really into MMA actively. I have watched my fair share of matches and would not really consider myself a fan... to be honest I am a pacifist.. haha. I am doing this for health, conditioning, self defense and to release stress and anger, plus it will get me cut and in awesome shape.. if I am going to be getting back into the dating scene it can't hurt. Link to post Share on other sites
Ballerfamily Posted November 30, 2010 Share Posted November 30, 2010 You're into MMA....So I have to ask you....WWFD? What would Fedor do in this situation? I guarantee he's coming back with a vengance against Werdum:cool: And he will be smarter this time....... you don't get it. we have given you more replies and advice then anyone. you try to figure everything out. you can't. the fog is affair fog. she eats, drinks, sleeps, and fu___ OM. she is blinded and doesn't care. he is better then you, and gives her more then you could ever. now, you wanna still talk. I'm exhausted reading and writing. You will not stay NC. you will learn peace, your own your own. good luck Link to post Share on other sites
What_Next Posted November 30, 2010 Share Posted November 30, 2010 Surfer203 http://www.emotionalaffair.org/understanding-the-affair-fog/ If you really want to learn what an emotional roller coaster you might be on read through my thread. Yes all 50 plus pages. It represents the most traumatic months of my life. They are not yet over. My suggestion? You have no children, MOVE ON! Yes I am giving this advice despite actively reconciling with my wife. Ironic isn't it? She is showing ZERO remorse, that is the bottom line. Link to post Share on other sites
Ballerfamily Posted November 30, 2010 Share Posted November 30, 2010 indifferent. are you kidding bro. it took me a whole year. your in love. you can't stand it. if she came knocking, and gave you a smell of her perfume, you would be like putty. lol NC/NC/NC/NC/NC/NC/NC Link to post Share on other sites
Author Surfer203 Posted November 30, 2010 Author Share Posted November 30, 2010 No.. I don't want to talk to her so make things better. I want to tell her to f*** herself and that I hope she has a good lawyer. What_Next: I will read it tomorrow at work (haha - some days are slow), I am aware of the rollercoaster about to ensue. That is unfortunate that your wife is showing no remorse.. that would be a deal breaker for me. If my wife comes back I want her to kiss my ass forever and ever. I won't put up with anything but 100% of her efforts. Best of luck to you man. Link to post Share on other sites
michaelhopes Posted November 30, 2010 Share Posted November 30, 2010 Then you need to watch some Fedor fights.... Calm, collected, no sign of anger or aggression, no grand standing,meditative.....a perfect gentleman ......The baddest man on the planet But kicks ass when he has to.. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Surfer203 Posted November 30, 2010 Author Share Posted November 30, 2010 Ballerfamily: You know what I decided today.. I decided that I am not going to say yes to her no matter what. If she tries to come back, I am going to judge her words, tone and actions before I agree to this. I am not 100% anymore, and I realize I have to do this because I am missing my wife - I am not missing this new transformed person and I DO NOT want that transformed person back. So unless she has made some serious changes, I am done. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Surfer203 Posted November 30, 2010 Author Share Posted November 30, 2010 michaelhopes: I will check him out, I'm sure I have seen him fight before though. MMA is nuts.. I hope it gives me some balance in my life... structure and strength! Link to post Share on other sites
Ballerfamily Posted November 30, 2010 Share Posted November 30, 2010 indifferent. are you kidding bro. it took me a whole year. your in love. you can't stand it. if she came knocking, and gave you a smell of her perfume, you would be like putty. lol NC/NC/NC/NC/NC/NC/NC oh ya. we've been there and back. it sucks and makes you so f___ mad you will want to beat the snot out of her. try it. and tell me I'm wrong. self-respect yourself she sure doesn't be a man, not a pu__ywhipped puppy not one little I'm sorry, not one sign of remorse, in fact she's pork___g OM rite now believe it, sleep it, dream it and then times by 10 Link to post Share on other sites
Ballerfamily Posted November 30, 2010 Share Posted November 30, 2010 No.. I don't want to talk to her so make things better. I want to tell her to f*** herself and that I hope she has a good lawyer. What_Next: I will read it tomorrow at work (haha - some days are slow), I am aware of the rollercoaster about to ensue. your wThat is unfortunate that life is showing no remorse.. that would be a deal breaker for me. If my wife comes back I want her to kiss my ass forever and ever. I won't put up with anything but 100% of her efforts. Best of luck to you man. he is talking about yours Link to post Share on other sites
What_Next Posted November 30, 2010 Share Posted November 30, 2010 That is unfortunate that your wife is showing no remorse.. that would be a deal breaker for me No my wife is doing anything but. She knows she made the worst mistake of her life. Hell she had the ba___s to come here on LS. Keep us posted! We are in your corner! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Surfer203 Posted November 30, 2010 Author Share Posted November 30, 2010 You know how to get under my skin and I think that is a good thing. I need to be more angry and outraged by her actions. This is not a person who deserves to be in my life and be treated with an ounce of respect at this point. Ahh sorry - I understand now. She did apologize several times.. blah blah blah, means s*** to me. Words are nothing to me, I told her that over and over. I forbid her from saying "I'm sorry" to me and she has not said it since. Link to post Share on other sites
Ballerfamily Posted November 30, 2010 Share Posted November 30, 2010 Ballerfamily: You know what I decided today.. I decided that I am not going to say yes to her no matter what. If she tries to come back, I am going to judge her words, tone and actions before I agree to this. I am not 100% anymore, and I realize I have to do this because I am missing my wife - I am not missing this new transformed person and I DO NOT want that transformed person back. So unless she has made some serious changes, I am done. surfer buddy serious changes? not a chance. she won't change over nite. In fact because she shows no remorse, it aint gonna happen for a long time or unless you do something drastic like divorce her ass, and then prolly not. Move on and stop thinking Link to post Share on other sites
Author Surfer203 Posted November 30, 2010 Author Share Posted November 30, 2010 Ballerfamily: Understand. I will do my best to move on. Trying really hard. Today is the first of many days to recover, I am aware that it will take a long time, but I am sick of it and ready to move on. Again.. thanks for the support everyone. I feel like you are all my friends. It is sad because my real friends in real life have been awful. No one is giving me great support or checking in on me. Only my parents and brothers are really giving a f*** about me. But this has made my relationship with them closer, which is great. A silverlining to this situation. Retiring for the night.. more fun tomorrow I'm sure, especially since I am ignoring her attempts at contacting me! Hahaha. Link to post Share on other sites
michaelhopes Posted November 30, 2010 Share Posted November 30, 2010 LMAO!!!!! Dont know whats worse...... Your wife going nutso... Or taking a full blown ration of chit from the guys on this forum..... It's all good Link to post Share on other sites
Ballerfamily Posted November 30, 2010 Share Posted November 30, 2010 Ballerfamily: Understand. I will do my best to move on. Trying really hard. Today is the first of many days to recover, I am aware that it will take a long time, but I am sick of it and ready to move on. Again.. thanks for the support everyone. I feel like you are all my friends. It is sad because my real friends in real life have been awful. No one is giving me great support or checking in on me. Only my parents and brothers are really giving a f*** about me. But this has made my relationship with them closer, which is great. A silverlining to this situation. Retiring for the night.. more fun tomorrow I'm sure, especially since I am ignoring her attempts at contacting me! Hahaha. don't feel to bad about the friends thing or her family. they usually try to stay neutral and it hurts cause you want and need sympathy and a hug. rejection is worse then death I think. they will all come to your aid eventually. she will be doing damage control and most likely painting an untrue picture of you. they don't know what is true, unless there really close to you. my mother in law has yet to console me for fear of my ex's wrath Link to post Share on other sites
Ballerfamily Posted November 30, 2010 Share Posted November 30, 2010 LMAO!!!!! Dont know whats worse...... Your wife going nutso... Or taking a full blown ration of chit from the guys on this forum..... It's all good lol. just trying to wake his a__ up. it is all good. we want him to come out on the good side sooner, not 3 yrs later Link to post Share on other sites
Author Surfer203 Posted November 30, 2010 Author Share Posted November 30, 2010 Balleryfamily: Thanks man.. I know what you are saying. Lots of our friends are mutual. Especially the ones who know of our situation are mostly her close friends. So, it kind of sucks.. family is the best though! Unlike you my mother-in-law has been pretty sweet to me.. and father-in-law. They have both tried to cheer me up and give me some love. "So sorry Matt.. We didn't raise her like this." She is being such a c*** to her Mom - her Mom is really into the idea of her coming back to me and so she was giving my wife some attitiude.. my wife just writes her off and says she is crazy and a drunk, blah blah. When a few months ago she would never dare say something like this about her Mom. It is sad to see her self destruct and ruin relationships with family and friends. Oh well.. her loss not mine. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Surfer203 Posted November 30, 2010 Author Share Posted November 30, 2010 It's tough taking your abuse but nothing compared to what was done to me by my wife. I really appreciate the help.. I think I will be able to emerge from this happier and sooner than if I faced it alone. You all have some experience with this type of situation and it is comforting to know that I am not the only one out there dealing with this s***. Link to post Share on other sites
michaelhopes Posted November 30, 2010 Share Posted November 30, 2010 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B4WGyU0NZMk Link to post Share on other sites
Steadfast Posted November 30, 2010 Share Posted November 30, 2010 Everyone deals just a bit differently. One of the things I remember helping me was finally accepting the fact that she didn't love me. It helped explain a lot, and reduced my interest in trying to find out what happened. Which was, as it turned out, what people do when they really don't love you. They love certain things about you, or what you can do for them. But the real love isn't there. Maybe they're not capable of it. What does it matter? FWIW surfer, my ex is a looker too. Dark, nice ass. Pretty. Hair. Her actions destroyed a certain part of me that I still can't put into words, but I'm beginning to realize that maybe it needed to be destroyed. I can say this; my confidence (or more specifically, my reaction) when dealing with beautiful women is far different now than it was before. I've been humbled. The need to impress or validate is gone. The world doesn't revolve around me, yet, my word is good. There is freedom in honesty. Day by day surfer. Hour by hour sometimes. Walk the path. Keep walking and someday you'll reach the other side. Distraction slows the process. Link to post Share on other sites
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