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How to stay sane while wife is making decision?


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What she said. ^^^^^

 

Surfer, what did you and your wife do that was a lot of fun when you were dating?

 

What is it that she likes about the new things in her life, the crowd she hangs with now?

 

Combine the two and take her out.. wine n dine... dance.... laugh, have fun and for pete's sake don't talk about the relationship! then bring her home and take her!

 

Make the plan, then tell her that you're taking her on a date just the two of you, don't ask!

 

 

 

Her reactions to all of this will tell you a lot. And could really use to have some fun right now!

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2.50 a gallon

Darn this is getting frustrating, I just logged in and yet I get

 

Your submission could not be processed because you have logged in since the previous page was loaded

 

Will break this up into paragraphs

 

You are her man, be her man and seduce her.

 

Most women love to be seduced. We men tend to let our egos get in our way and believe that we know it all. We don't

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There is an art to seduction. Most of us men pooh-pah the idea of purchasing one of the self help books that have been published. BE her man and buy one and read it, but don't let her know, just read and learn then put the ideas to practice

 

One of my most valuable books was a book titled "The art of sensual Massage" I doubt that it is still available as I bought it during the hippie days.

 

Most women love candles, do you know her favorite aroma?

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2.50 a gallon

This is hopeless have lost 2 more compoosed message to you, it appears that it an be only a paragraph of two.

 

During the next couple of days avoid the two most erotic areas of her body with your touches. But concentrate of lightly touching the back of her arm, or around her ear. Tease her, give her a foot masage, and hint about doing something Saturday night.

 

Buy some Kama Sutra oil and massage her neck. If you don't know Kama Sutra oil is great for massages, it pleasntly warms the skin, it has this sexy spicey aroma and it tastes sweet and spicey

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In a room illuminated by candle light, surprise her with a full body massage with Kama Sutra oil, take you time, don't get in a hurry, just let her enjoy, think of her as your love guitar and gently pluck her strings, kiss her everywhere

 

Or try body paints. The feel of the brush drives them crasy

 

Or feathers, tease her body with feathers, there are two types, peacock and the strong quill like feathers, both have their purposes. This is especially effective with a little lite bondage,

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2.50 a gallon: I compose long posts on my Gmail which has auto-save and then copy/paste them here to post. You can also try it on Wordpad...etc.

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Whoa.. thanks for all of the suggestions everyone. A lot of points that are hitting home. Everyone, yikes - I need to process all of this!

 

Last night I didn't push it too far, but I was a bit flirty. My mood was better than it has been lately so I was joking with her a bit and trying to make her laugh. It was nice, we got along really well. Tonight I may try to take it one step further.

 

Good idea, maybe Saturday I will plan some sort of date night.

 

___________________________

 

Regarding those who think she is cheating.. I am almost 100% certain that she is not. Believe me I am keeping my eyes and ears open this time, being very observant.

 

___________________________

 

Today I am going to see my therapist around lunch time for a chat. I haven't seen him in over a month since our situation went sour. Going to talk it out with him and see what he thinks.

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Good luck surfer...just keep it "light" and don't get pulled into any heavy conversation and NO arguing. :)

 

She may not be cheating, but she may just be waiting for the opportunity and looking to string you along until it shows up. She still has reservations, keep your eyes open, but don't jump to conclusions and don't level any accusations...

 

Good luck and keep posting...

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Trying to keep it light and avoid DEEP conversations. Going to play it like this for the time being and be on my guard.

 

Not getting my hopes up anymore, I have decided that chances are it won't work out - so I am trying to not get too confident, that way if it does fall apart it won't hurt quite as bad.

 

We got along pretty well yesterday with minimal effort, which is always good. I called to ask her about something yesterday, it turned into a bit of a serious talk anyway, she said I love you goodbye. She has not been saying that as frequently, so it was interesting.

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Yeah.. normally I say it first. This time she did. Interesting.

 

_______________

 

Just met with my therapist.. was good to vent a little bit to another human being. He is on board with me.. thinks she needs to either piss or get off the pot. Get a job for sure, not be staying up late, limiting her outings. He also thinks she is acting like a teenager again.

 

All stuff I already knew.. now, going to play it cool and see if anything changes in the short term, if nothing changes we are going to have a big talk.

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worldgonewrong
Yeah.. normally I say it first. This time she did. Interesting.

 

Wow. Just wow. I wish I could hear those words again from my wife...

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wgw: Yeah.. it was after I called her paranoid about something and she explained what I was worrying about, I was totally wrong on that. She said it like she was trying to comfort me. I don't know. I read into things too much.

 

Why would you want to hear it though, unless she really meant it?

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worldgonewrong

Why would you want to hear it though, unless she really meant it?

 

true. very true.

my wife has never said it cavalierly though...so I know it'd be true if she did.

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Understood WGW

 

 

MSWS: Yes sir.. sorry. Had a weak moment, I have been playing it cool other than that so far.

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wgw: Yeah.. it was after I called her paranoid about something and she explained what I was worrying about, I was totally wrong on that. She said it like she was trying to comfort me. I don't know. I read into things too much.

 

Why would you want to hear it though, unless she really meant it?

 

Seriously!! How's she doing on the housework at the moment?

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Rob.. hahaha. She cleaned the house the other day and when I came home from work yesterday she was tidying the kitchen and putting away receipts.

 

Cereal bowl and juice glass has been out for me every morning, towel draped over the shower door each morning as well. Haha, little things - but she is showing some signs of improvement.

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Rob.. hahaha. She cleaned the house the other day and when I came home from work yesterday she was tidying the kitchen and putting away receipts.

 

Cereal bowl and juice glass has been out for me every morning, towel draped over the shower door each morning as well. Haha, little things - but she is showing some signs of improvement.

 

Good, that is respecting you..

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Now only if she would let me disrespect her... if you catch my drift. :)

 

I do indeed lol. On another note I do think you should be going out on your own also. If your wife goes out and about, why shouldn't you.

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Rob: I get out but not nearly as much as her. Most of my activities are day time activities however, I like to be active and enjoy nature and physical tasks mainly. Night time, not so much for me.. I get tired early and I am not a partier.

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2.50 a gallon

Rob has it pegged.

 

Go out with her friends, be friendly, have fun, and back to the dancing thing, dance with her and them. So that when you do not go out with them and instead are out partying on your own that they are asking her "You are letting him out of your sight, are you a fool, you know he could be dancing with other women"

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2.50: Haha good thinking. When she goes out dancing it is with her girlfriends, she does not go out dancing with male friends. I hear what you are barking big dog.

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MSWS: She is generally home before 4 AM.. still, sometimes not far off from that time. It is really selfish because it causes me not to sleep well, toss and turn and worry about her.

 

I am not being naive, I just KIND OF trust her. I don't know. She knows bad things will happen if she cheats again - the dude who touches her won't be using his hands for a while. :laugh:

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OK...how is staying out til 4AM in anyway acceptable in a spouse?

 

I just don't get it, Surfer.

 

You know better. After all that you've been through...you continue to accept this kind of behavior???

 

C'mon man.

 

If she wants to be single...let her be single. I've come to that conclusion in my life.

 

My wife (and I for that matter) faces the choice everyday as to whether or not she wants to be with me. If she chooses to engage in some kind of behavior like this...she knows full well where I stand on that...she also knows that the odds are high that I won't accept it. I CERTAINLY wouldn't accept it on a regular basis.

 

Why do you continue to accept her acting like she's not married?

 

Why don't you lay down the boundaries, and the consequences, and let her choose what she wants in her life...her partying, or you?

 

Or on the other hand...why aren't you out there WITH her? Is there an opportunity for compromise between you, where you go out with her when she wants to go out...and you both come home together?

 

Either way...its darned sure NOT healthy for a marriage when one spouse goes out and parties like this til these kinds of hours. Why accept it?

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