How to get over abuse

[hART]

I went through a bad relationship that lasted longer than most marriages (it ended in 2007).

How do I avoid getting into another abusive relationship?

What are some warning signs?

I understand it wasn't my fault and I don't control his reactions to my behavior, but are there some ways to avoid escalation to this level in a relationship? (like communication)

How do I get over some of the anxiety this caused? (no prescriptions please!)

 

Thanks!

[Tressugar]

As a survivor of several domestic violent relationships, I learned that you have to love yourself unconditonally. Treat yourself as you would a best friend. Be a friend to yourself.

 

The signs are always present and start off by the other person compromising/testing your boundaries verbally or physically. It always escalates never ceasing.

 

With mine former relationship I knew that he already had a domestic violence charge against him. I knew that I would probably be his next victim and guess what...I was.

[hART]

Sorry that happened to you :-( Thanks for the advice!

[sugarmomma]

I would say google all the different types of abuse and educate yourself to the warning signs. People who end up in abusive relationships often have issues regarding boundaries. Meaning they haven't defined what behaviors from their partners are dealbreakers. You have to determine what your boundaries will be and how to enforce them.

 

I have more info now and I still ended up with an emotional and mental abuser for 8 months. That experience totally blew me since I thought I was armed with a wealth of knowledge. It didn't work like that since I went with my emotions as opposed to logic most of the time with him. Huge mistake. He was a different kind of bad. Check out baggage reclaim and emotional abuse recovery sites.