How Do You Win Over a Party-Girl?

[U1987]

So I went out with my coworker which I mentioned last week (http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t253696/) We were supposed to go out last tuesday, but she had an accident and had to go to the hospital. When I saw she was better on the weekend, we rescheduled for today.

 

We got to talk and get to know eachother a bit, but she cut our date really short to go party with her friends tonight. She invited me to come though.

 

After our quick date we went back to her place where her roommate, 2 girls and 2 guys were pre-gaming for a club. That's when our one-on-one time ended. We did some shots, hung out for an hour while the girls were taking their time getting dressed, doing their makeup, etc and then headed to the club.

 

So we're at the club; 3 guys and 4 girls. We were having drinks, all getting to know each other, goofing around and dancing but I wasn't getting any personal time with my date. She kept going back and forth between me and her friends. I did try to get to know her friends though, and I did hit it off with one of her cute girlfriends.

 

Things got iffy the more my date had to drink. We were dancing together, and she was getting pretty close to me, but she was really, I dunno, "sloppy." She was slurring, dancing out of beat, stepping on my toes, etc. At one point, she kept rubbing her face into my chest and kept saying "You're turtleneck's so soft! I love it! I love it!" (Not to brag, but I was the best dressed guy there; slim dress pants and a thick soft-wool turtleneck while most guys were in raggy jeans and those God-awful Ed Hardey and Affliction tees)

 

I probably could have kissed her there, but it didn't seem right, considering she was far more drunk than I was; I was tipsy but still coherent. I just gently pushed her away and said "You're drunk" and she just grinned and said "Yeah I am," and I said "Yeah, right? Have fun with your girlfriends for a bit."

 

But she immediately went to one of the other guys who came out with us and started grinding with him, and went back and forth between him and random other guys at the club. The 3rd guy was making out with one of the girls, leaving the girl I was talking to earlier.

 

We started dancing and grinding. She was really grinding into me hard, and I had sensed some chemistry when we talked earlier. As soon as the lights came on, we started to head out. I got my date's friend's number and said my goodbyes to everyone. My date was still really drunk and hugging and talking to random guys she had danced with. I tapped her on the shoulder and said goodbye, but she immediately left the guy she was talking to and hugged me and squealed "Bye U1987! I had so much fun tonight! You're sooooo cute! Eeeeeeeeee!" and I said she was too.

 

So here I am wondering what to do next. Like I said, I only got a little one-on-one time with my date, and she had spent a lot of time talking and dancing with her friends and other guys. BUT I got to know her friend, danced with her and got her number.

 

My date works with me so what should I do next? Ask her out again and demand one-on-one time? Or shoot straight for her friend, potentially risking some awkwardness with my coworker if it turns out she actually likes me?

[Green]

Party girls turn me off. Really a drunken hook up is the best you can hope for and since you were to honorable for that route don't expect to magicaly change her into a sober one on one dateable person.

[youngskywalker]

Ummm a better question on the title would be, WHY would you want a party girl?

 

You can go knock yourself out. Good luck. Maybe I can go through my address book and get some phone numbers of party girls if you'd like too. You can have them all.

[U1987]

Ummm a better question on the title would be, WHY would you want a party girl?

 

Why WOULDN'T you want a party girl? Party girls are fun, outgoing, attractive. What's NOT to like?

[U1987]

Party girls turn me off. Really a drunken hook up is the best you can hope for and since you were to honorable for that route don't expect to magicaly change her into a sober one on one dateable person.

 

I don't want to change her lifestyle. All I want to know is, how can I make her commit to some quality one-on-one time with me (no rushing to get back home to get ready for the club; no dividing her time between me and friends) to make enough time to make a move? And if I can't, but she actually does like me, should I go for her friend, potentially risking some awkwardness between us at work?

[Green]

Just go for her friend if you think she would be more fun and you would have a better chance. Awkwardness at work is only for women hahah you can handle it! plus by going for her friend instead of her you actualy have LESS awkwardness at work in the long run.

[U1987]

Just go for her friend if you think she would be more fun and you would have a better chance.

 

My coworker's friend is cute, but my coworker is hotter and funner. I don't want to go for the friend unless I'm absolutely sure I can't be with my coworker. How do I find that out? What should I say to her next time so that she has no choice but to commit to a one-on-one, all-night date?

[Green]

My coworker's friend is cute, but my coworker is hotter and funner. I don't want to go for the friend unless I'm absolutely sure I can't be with my coworker. How do I find that out? What should I say to her next time so that she has no choice but to commit to a one-on-one, all-night date?

 

no magic words, you need to try and fail (or succeed) and learn from THAT.

 

If it were me going off the limited knowledge you have given me,, I would just ask her out privately at work or somewhere else during the day and then sugest something like "I'll pick you up and take you to a great dinner" then voila you have her a lon and KISSY KISSY time if you are SMART

[U1987]

Another problem I had was keeping other guys off her. Fortunately, none of the guys were aggressive or belligerent, but they were, I guess you would say, persistent; far more than I was. It was really frustrating. I'd try to engage the guy in conversation to keep his attention on me rather then on her, but it only lasted so long until I ran out of things to say. I couldn't keep up.

 

How can you block a guy without looking obnoxious or like a tool to a girl you're trying to get to know?

[Tim The Enchanter]

 

My date works with me so what should I do next? Ask her out again and demand one-on-one time?

 

Yeah, that'll work. People love it when you tell them what to do.

 

How about going on an actual date where you don't end up with lots of other people?

[Tim The Enchanter]

Another problem I had was keeping other guys off her. Fortunately, none of the guys were aggressive or belligerent, but they were, I guess you would say, persistent; far more than I was. It was really frustrating. I'd try to engage the guy in conversation to keep his attention on me rather then on her, but it only lasted so long until I ran out of things to say. I couldn't keep up.

 

How can you block a guy without looking obnoxious or like a tool to a girl you're trying to get to know?

 

You can't. If she was interested in you, she would have been with you and not the other guys.

[utterer of lies]

You can't. If she was interested in you, she would have been with you and not the other guys.

 

Well, if he would have shown his interest by kissing her instead of being a pussy she probably wouldn't have done that.

[Corporation Lizzie]

Choose a more appropriate venue if you want 1on1 time and conversation.

[welikeincrowds]

Your mistake was that you went to the club with her in the first place. You don't want or need to be competing for her attention. Next time, have other **** to do, and say no.

[welikeincrowds]

You can't. If she was interested in you, she would have been with you and not the other guys.

 

This. If a girl likes you she blocks herself. But of course you can't expect that of her on a first date, which is just one of the many reasons why you don't end an early-on date with a group outing with her friends. Good lesson here!

[phineas]

I don't want to change her lifestyle. All I want to know is, how can I make her commit to some quality one-on-one time with me (no rushing to get back home to get ready for the club; no dividing her time between me and friends) to make enough time to make a move? And if I can't, but she actually does like me, should I go for her friend, potentially risking some awkwardness between us at work?

 

Be the hot DJ at her favorite club.

Honestly, she'll give you what you want if she can get you to spin her favorite music & her friends when she wants.

 

trust me, my cousin was a DJ.

[Andy_K]

I don't get it. You've said repeatedly on these forums that you just want to get laid, yet when you get clear interest you back off from kissing her because she's drunk? Drunk people make out all the time. It's not like you had to take her home and sleep with her that night.

[utterer of lies]

I don't get it. You've said repeatedly on these forums that you just want to get laid, yet when you get clear interest you back off from kissing her because she's drunk? Drunk people make out all the time. It's not like you had to take her home and sleep with her that night.

 

"She was drunk" is U1987's code for "I was scared".

[lino]

Become her drug supplier. Not only will you win over the party girl(s) but lot of other types of women too.

 

 

I probably could have kissed her there, but it didn't seem right, considering she was far more drunk than I was; I was tipsy but still coherent. I just gently pushed her away and said "You're drunk" and she just grinned and said "Yeah I am," and I said "Yeah, right? Have fun with your girlfriends for a bit."

 

You houldn't have turned her down here. Could end up being a fatal mistake.

[kiss_andmakeup]

Uhh...you want to "win over a party girl" but got all miffed by how "drunk" she was? are you really not seeing the problem here?

 

If you just want casual sex, as you've stated in your other (numerous) threads, and you want it with a party girl, chances are she's probably gonna be drunk if/when it happens. And yeah, it'll be drunken, sloppy hook-up sex.

[BackUpOrGetStung]

To get party girls you need to be outgoing, fun, good looking, interesting, charming, have money, aloof, be able to offer them something(skip the line at a club, free drinks at a bar), or be throwing the party yourself. A combination of any 3 of these should would work(there are other traits too), but judging from your posts you don't have a single one of these characteristics. I think you should stop trying so hard, and let a girl who likes your for you, come to you.

[U1987]

"She was drunk" is U1987's code for "I was scared".

 

"She was drunk" is my code for "I don't want to go to prison and get butt-****ed for taking advantage of a drunk girl," get it?

[U1987]

Be the hot DJ at her favorite club.

Honestly, she'll give you what you want if she can get you to spin her favorite music & her friends when she wants.

 

trust me, my cousin was a DJ.

 

Okay thanks I'll just become the DJ. Piece of cake. Easy-peasy.

[Green]

Another problem I had was keeping other guys off her. Fortunately, none of the guys were aggressive or belligerent, but they were, I guess you would say, persistent; far more than I was. It was really frustrating. I'd try to engage the guy in conversation to keep his attention on me rather then on her, but it only lasted so long until I ran out of things to say. I couldn't keep up.

 

How can you block a guy without looking obnoxious or like a tool to a girl you're trying to get to know?

 

You can't. If she was interested in you, she would have been with you and not the other guys.

 

Well, if he would have shown his interest by kissing her instead of being a pussy she probably wouldn't have done that.

 

You guys gave good responses to his "keeping guys off her" comment. 1) he probably hasn't done anything to get her interested like a) ask her out b) Kiss her.... 2) You can only help a girl out with guys who are ANOYING HER not with guys she seems cool with talking too and you are afraid will steal her away..... but I'd risk looking needy and cock block another guy if I liked a girl because in a lame way if you were to afraid to ask a girl out your cock blocking may show ur feelings for her....but ask her out and kiss her

 

Your mistake was that you went to the club with her in the first place. You don't want or need to be competing for her attention. Next time, have other **** to do, and say no.

 

His mistake is going after a club type girl... "party girl" I'm not sure if his definition of party girl is the same as mine but her drunken ways suggest it is. Not the type of girl I want.

 

I don't get it. You've said repeatedly on these forums that you just want to get laid, yet when you get clear interest you back off from kissing her because she's drunk? Drunk people make out all the time. It's not like you had to take her home and sleep with her that night.

 

Personaly he talks a tough talk but when you read between the lines it becomes obviouse thats not what he's all about. He just seems to be a guy who wants attention from women but is socialy awkward and doesn't do the things he needs to do like ASKING WOMEN OUT in large quantities and not PUSSYING OUT

 

"She was drunk" is U1987's code for "I was scared".

 

Everything he says is a code for being "Scared"

 

Uhh...you want to "win over a party girl" but got all miffed by how "drunk" she was? are you really not seeing the problem here?

 

If you just want casual sex, as you've stated in your other (numerous) threads, and you want it with a party girl, chances are she's probably gonna be drunk if/when it happens. And yeah, it'll be drunken, sloppy hook-up sex.

 

Chances are a party girl will want to party and be drunk/high what ever... but he doesn't seem to understand that. I agree that having drunken meaningless sex would be dirty and not HOTT but he creates a paradox when he acts like thats what he wants and doesn't at the same time.

 

"She was drunk" is my code for "I don't want to go to prison and get butt-****ed for taking advantage of a drunk girl," get it?

 

You do realize that this girl will be drunk all the time so you'd better move on. Oh and if you do end up kissing her or what ever she will go back out and party and have drunken sex with some other guy. Might want to reconsider the whole party girl night club thing if you are against "kissing" drunk people.

 

I agree with you though I don't want to sleep with or kiss DRUNK people but I don't go to night clubs looking to hook up. And any one I had given the label of PARTY GIRL too would not be on my radar as some one I wanted to persue romanticly.

[utterer of lies]

"She was drunk" is my code for "I don't want to go to prison and get butt-****ed for taking advantage of a drunk girl," get it?

 

Go to prison for kissing her? Good argument.