Iamsinful2 Posted March 10, 2004 Share Posted March 10, 2004 I still love her I was involved with this girl, she was the first women I was with, (she had been with women before and was very open to say she was bi) I fell in love with her right away. She slowly started to show me how much she loved me. ( I believe she loved me, the way she held me, made love to me and the special little things she would do) We had a good relationship, for about a year. I was so happy, she made me feel so special and I treated her like a queen. Then slowly I felt her drift away, less time spent together, then she would pick fights over the littlest things, then she just got evil. I believe it was because she did not want her friends to know she was with me, see she was petite and had the perfect body, I do not fit that category, I am a medium sized women, very plain. None of her friends know to this day that she was with me. But I do not understand how two people can be togther for a year, and share the things we did and not have at least deep feelings for one another. Then one day it was though we never had a relationship ( I believe that is what I would call it ? ) She now denies and acts like we never had a beutiful year together. She then decided to start dating, but she had went back to a man, she would come around me like it was no big deal, I would try and be nice, but I was hurting so bad inside. I have never been through anything like this before. Well we are still friends I see her every now and then, I believe I am holding on to one day she will want to be with me even if just for a 1 night thing? I still think about her in that way, she has said things to me that make me believe that she would be with me sexually if she was horney, I know I was the best women she was with, cause when it came time to be intimate, I made sure it was all about her, if she did not come at least 2 to 3 times, then I would not let her make me cum. The reason I am looking for some suggestions that I want to know am I wrong to hang on to the hope that she will want to be togther? I do not want to lose her out of my life as a friend either? So how can you get over someone that your still in love with? She is single now, but still goes out with guys here and there. We have been around one another alot as of recent, I want to make a move, but ... she talks about sex all the time, when she does I get turned on, but I just sit and listen, I guess only the future will show if this is meant to happen again, or am I just going to be dissappointed when it doesn't happen. Link to post Share on other sites
look forward Posted March 10, 2004 Share Posted March 10, 2004 Iamsinful2 I am really sorry for your pain but I think it is very unhealthy for you to carry on being friends with this woman when you are still so in love with her. I mean has this woman given you any sign that she may want to re-kindle this relationship apart from maybe if she is feeling horny.. Its not fair on you at all and why the hell would u want to settle for that you deserve to be with someone who wants to be with you and doesn't pretend that they were in a relationship with you.. Can you honestly see a future here with this woman from what you have stated she is pretending that the relationship never happened.. people change and she clearly has so stop torturing yourself... tell her that maybe one day you will be able to be friends but right now you need to cut all contact and try to heal yourself... Stop living in hope that she may come back to you and start believing that this is over or this pain will not subside.. Concentrate on yourself, give yourself time to heal and then move on to someone who actually deserves your love because this woman doesnt. Link to post Share on other sites
Velveteel Posted March 10, 2004 Share Posted March 10, 2004 This woman is showing no respect for you. Be glad that you had a beautiful year together. I'm sure you learned a lot about love. But she's treating you poorly now, and doesn't deserve your friendship, let alone your sexual attention. That's why she's still coming around. She gets a fix from you. And she's enjoying the fact that you're still lusting after her even when she's dumped you and dishonored your relationship. If you want her to feel any respect for you--and if you want to build your own self-esteem--cut off the friendship. You don't have to tell her a thing. Just stop contacting her, and don't respond at all if she comes after you. She'll get the message, and you'll grow stronger. There's someone better for you out there, but you won't find her until you give up your obsession with your ex. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Iamsinful2 Posted March 14, 2004 Author Share Posted March 14, 2004 I really appreciate the advice, now doing that is easier said then done, she has been around me alot in the past week, she comes and asks to use my truck, I let her, she ask to borrow money and I loan it too her. I do not know if I have the strength to do this right now. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Iamsinful2 Posted March 14, 2004 Author Share Posted March 14, 2004 I read the last comment, your right, I will not meet anyone else if I keep on. Now I just need to stop all contact, I am going to do alot of thinking this week this is going to be hard. Link to post Share on other sites
Velveteel Posted March 15, 2004 Share Posted March 15, 2004 Yes, it will be hard. But the fact that she comes around mainly to borrow money or to borrow your truck sends a really clear message here. She's using you. I'm sorry. You're going to have to be strong and cut it off. If she confronts you, wanting to talk, or to ask another favor, just say, "No, I don't think that's a good idea." Don't let her argue with you. A few stock responses--things to say that you've decided on in advance and practiced--will help you here, since you may be a little nervous and inclined to let her have her way again. Good luck with this. And if you haven't connected with the gay community in your area--bars, coffee-houses, religious groups, support groups--this would be a great time to do so. You need to meet other women and start feeling better about yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
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