SincereOnlineGuy Posted November 27, 2010 Share Posted November 27, 2010 she stole my virginity. I have gotten over the lie, Wrong on both counts... (figure out how offensive that must sound to women who lost their virginity to rapists) I still cannot get over the fact that another man has been inside her, that's a really big issue for me, it kills me. And to think that this girl, whom I may very possibly marry had been with someone else, it's just not fair. And I feel like I can't leave either, because it is not fair of me to have been with someone else before my new girlfriend/wife, and I don't ever want to have someone else feel the way I do. You sullied yourself - it doesn't even matter anymore. There's always the priesthood from here on out, but of course you'll have to adhere strictly to the "do as I say, not as I do" adage. Link to post Share on other sites
Mellisa Posted November 27, 2010 Share Posted November 27, 2010 I have been dating a girl for one year two months, she is 18, and I am 20. I am an attractive guy, and have had many opportunities to have sex before this relationship, but I always believed that sex is something that should be experienced only in marriage, and I still believe this. As our relationship grew, we became closer and closer to each other, and we both fell in love with each other, I honestly thought I had found the girl I was going to marry. However, as time passed, we became more and more physical with each other, and September of this year, we had sex. Prior to having sex, I had asked her multiple times throughout our relationship if she had ever had sex, and every single time she would say that she had not, and that she was a virgin. About a week after we had sex, I asked her again, she got real quiet and said that she had to tell me something, she went on to tell me that when she was 16 she had sex with her boyfriend of five months. She said that they broke up shortly thereafter, and that they only did it once, and that she just laid there, and that she just turned over on her side and cried afterwards because of how bad she felt about what she had done. She said that for a year after, she struggled to get over it, and that she had considered herself a virgin when we had sex. But because she lied to me about being a virgin in the first place, and don't really know if I can believe that they only had sex once,(just writing this makes my stomach hurt) or that she was just infatuated with him, as she claims, rather than in love with him. This completely broke my heart, I can't accurately describe how I feel, but it's a feeling of betrayal, anger, jealousy and just utter disappointment. I get a litteral physical pain in my stomach when I think about it. It really tears me up that she shared this bond with someone else, that someone else was inside of her, it just kills me. And then the fact that she lied to me so many times about it, hurts as well. She knew how important this was to me because I told her several times in the couple weeks before we had sex of how important this experience we were going to share was, and how important it was that she tell me if she had ever been with another guy. For the past two months I have been struggling with my emotions over this, and I guess what I came here to ask is, should I just break up with her, or try to work through this? I dont know if I can trust anything she says. How important is it to you that the girl is a virgin?Probably pretty important.But I just dont think it's something that should matter as long as you both have genuine feeling for each other.The reason she lied to you might be that she knew being a virgin is important to you and she feared if you knew she wasnt, she would lose you.I know it's hard for you to accept the truth but if you really love her and know she loves you,you shouldnt let it ruin what you had.What's more important is that you are with a girl who truely cares and loves you.The rest you'll get it over with over time. Link to post Share on other sites
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