ascendotum Posted November 24, 2010 Share Posted November 24, 2010 This question is not exactly about dating advice, but I was just curious after reading a recent post here by someone who's partner's ex was saying nasty thing things about her. When you break up with someone do you care what their next partner looks like? Based on observations over the years, my feeling is that women care more that their ex boyfriend is seeing a girl that they consider less attractive than them, whereas for men its the other way around. It would annoy them more if their ex GF was then dating a guy that was more handsome/macho than them. A factor in this would be who broke up with who. If you are the one that got dumped, then you definitely care more what your ex-partner's new lover (your replacement) looks like. Do you agree with my perspective? Link to post Share on other sites
aj22one Posted November 25, 2010 Share Posted November 25, 2010 I don't know. A couple years ago I broke up with a girl and she started seeing this blatantly creepy guy (anyone who had ever met him was creeped out by his presence). I wasn't so much worried about what he looked like as much as I was worried for her safety. But...under more conventional circumstances I would probably care only if I still had feelings for the girl. Otherwise, life's too short to be worried about someone you don't intend on seeing anymore. Link to post Share on other sites
Stung Posted November 25, 2010 Share Posted November 25, 2010 I don't think I understand why I would theoretically be annoyed if my ex's new gf was 'less hot' than me. Doesn't make sense to me. Wouldn't that say something good about him, that he cared about more than surface value? And thereby say something good about my own taste in men? And don't most people find a variety of 'types' attractive, preferences being subjective, anyway? I did have one ex whose next girlfriend looked an awful lot like me, only a bit flashier. I'm really not a cookie-cutter type, either, he must have specifically looked for this girl. He also tried to come back to me several times over the next year or two, while he was still with my almost-clone--seriously, she looked like the sister I never had. I found the whole scenario very creepy. Other than that I can't remember feeling any personal investment in what my exes new gfs looked like--I do remember feeling insecure a few times about their former gfs. Link to post Share on other sites
Knittress Posted November 25, 2010 Share Posted November 25, 2010 The chick my ex dumped me for is less cute than I am - even when I was overweight. I mention this to folks as a kind of consolation-prize comment. That, and my expectation that in the next ten years he's going to come out as gay. I'm more pissed about how he left me than with who. Though the 'who' certainly plays a part in it. Link to post Share on other sites
Tim The Enchanter Posted November 25, 2010 Share Posted November 25, 2010 My ex's housemate left her boyfriend of seven years and fiancee for a Brazilian Jiu Jitsu instructor and MMA fighter. Not only was the new guy a martial artist, but apparently he was a bit of dick too. That would really, really bother me if I was her ex-fiancee. Link to post Share on other sites
sagetalk Posted November 25, 2010 Share Posted November 25, 2010 You shouldn't care, they are gone. They can date whoever, but I would hope they would at least find someone who treats them well. Other than that, I'd get it out of my mind quickly. Comparing yourself to them is toxic thinking. Link to post Share on other sites
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