Why do exes say hi and nothing else? Is it their tricks?

[bestrong]

My ex and I broke up when I came back to my home country. Not going to blame her for that since we are far apart and she said the feeling couldn't go further. I did the whole begging thing for about 9 months and BANG she said she's in love with someone and said some harsh words that totally ripped my heart.

The last thing she said was we can't have each other in our lives at this moment and it's going to take years for me to heal. She also said we shouldn't talk for a few years. I went NC afterwards and things got better. I began to focus on work and work out more often. I became a human again even though I was hallow inside.

2 months after NC, I got an email from her saying "hi. how have you been?" I replied by just say "hi. I have been doing fine" didn't ask about her because I don't want myself to wait for her reply. Turns out I kept thinking if I was mean and sent her a message on aim 8 days ago saying "the email didn't mean to be rude". Of cause she went through the whole " oh what email?" "the one i sent a month ago?". I decided not to play the game and just say " yea, i guess" but I got weak and said "well it;s probably sounds pathetic to you, but who cares, I just want to clarify that I wasn't mean". she did ask me why I said so, but I never replied.

I decided to go on aim ytd and found out she sent an offline message to me saying "hi". Well at that point I was wondering who would say hi to someone who is OFFLINE? So I replied "hi. don't think I was on when you sent the message" and... she didn't relpy and went offline after 30 mins.

 

I began to see a pattern, and dispite knowing it might be her trap. I fell for it everytime. Maybe she just meant to say hi? I don't know. BUT all i want to tell her is "If you have sometime to say, MAKE A CONVERSATION instead of just saying hi! If you have nothing to say, then BACK OFF" I need time to heal =(

 

Why does she do that? I still want her and I know we will be friend someday in the future but I need to get the dignity I once destroyed when I kept begging her to come back.

[skydiveaddict]

don't say anything else to her. Don't respond anything she sends you, unless you are into punishing yourself.

[bestrong]

don't say anything else to her. Don't respond anything she sends you, unless you are into punishing yourself.

 

Yea I know I shouldn't be responding. I really want to know why she said hi when she was the one who said we shouldn't be talking for a few years. I guess I will never know the answer for it.

[Biker2007]

If you really look at what your ex is doing, it sounds fairly common. You are getting little breadcrumbs to see if you are still an option for her and stroking her ego every time you respond. Do you want to be an option or a priority? Your call.

 

Really, text messages or emails. Are these types of contact really the actions of someone that cares about you? If she cared, you would be getting a call or a knock at your door.

 

If you want to keep your self respect and possibly hers (if that even matters at this point), stop responding to her bread crumbs.

 

I see so many people talk about closure. This does not necessarily mean having a heart to heart talk with her. Sometimes it is as basic as sitting back and evaluating how she treats you...you make your own closure from that information.

 

Best of luck!

[bestrong]

If you really look at what your ex is doing, it sounds fairly common. You are getting little breadcrumbs to see if you are still an option for her and stroking her ego every time you respond. Do you want to be an option or a priority? Your call.

 

Really, text messages or emails. Are these types of contact really the actions of someone that cares about you? If she cared, you would be getting a call or a knock at your door.

 

If you want to keep your self respect and possibly hers (if that even matters at this point), stop responding to her bread crumbs.

 

I see so many people talk about closure. This does not necessarily mean having a heart to heart talk with her. Sometimes it is as basic as sitting back and evaluating how she treats you...you make your own closure from that information.

 

Best of luck!

 

Hey Biker! You are right, I guess she would call if she cares. Even it's going to be a long distance call, if she cares about me. I have been evaluating the whole situation. I think I still wanna be friend with her one day, but I am afraid if I don't reply her message... the friendship will end right there.

[Tim The Enchanter]

If you really look at what your ex is doing, it sounds fairly common. You are getting little breadcrumbs to see if you are still an option for her and stroking her ego every time you respond. Do you want to be an option or a priority? Your call.

 

Really, text messages or emails. Are these types of contact really the actions of someone that cares about you? If she cared, you would be getting a call or a knock at your door.

 

If you want to keep your self respect and possibly hers (if that even matters at this point), stop responding to her bread crumbs.

 

I see so many people talk about closure. This does not necessarily mean having a heart to heart talk with her. Sometimes it is as basic as sitting back and evaluating how she treats you...you make your own closure from that information.

 

Best of luck!

 

Wise words there. My ex has texted me several times. I, like a fool, then call her. We chat and then that's it. I've stoked her ego and she can abandon me again for a few months.

[Tim The Enchanter]

Hey Biker! You are right, I guess she would call if she cares. Even it's going to be a long distance call, if she cares about me. I have been evaluating the whole situation. I think I still wanna be friend with her one day, but I am afraid if I don't reply her message... the friendship will end right there.

 

I have to say to you, you think this person was the best thing in your life, but in time you will realise that she really wasn't all you made her to be. Also I would say that there is no better tonic to heartbreak than to find new love. I'm speaking as someone who has very recently had my heart broken - AGAIN. What keeps me going is the knowledge that I will meet someone new eventually, and then the feelings of love start all over again. I guess the trick is to find a relationship that lasts and lasts.

[9Lives]

If you really look at what your ex is doing, it sounds fairly common. You are getting little breadcrumbs to see if you are still an option for her and stroking her ego every time you respond. Do you want to be an option or a priority? Your call.

 

Really, text messages or emails. Are these types of contact really the actions of someone that cares about you? If she cared, you would be getting a call or a knock at your door.

 

If you want to keep your self respect and possibly hers (if that even matters at this point), stop responding to her bread crumbs.

 

I see so many people talk about closure. This does not necessarily mean having a heart to heart talk with her. Sometimes it is as basic as sitting back and evaluating how she treats you...you make your own closure from that information.

 

Best of luck!

 

this was powerful advice and I had to write it down. You are right! Take it from there instead of trying to figure this and that out. If you look at the past behavior especially the negative energy, you have a answer

[9Lives]

Wise words there. My ex has texted me several times. I, like a fool, then call her. We chat and then that's it. I've stoked her ego and she can abandon me again for a few months.

 

Yeah I stopped my ex in his tracks and Im glad I did even tho I miss him. Nothing good comes from crumbs! Patting myself on the back.

[9Lives]

I have to say to you, you think this person was the best thing in your life, but in time you will realise that she really wasn't all you made her to be. Also I would say that there is no better tonic to heartbreak than to find new love. I'm speaking as someone who has very recently had my heart broken - AGAIN. What keeps me going is the knowledge that I will meet someone new eventually, and then the feelings of love start all over again. I guess the trick is to find a relationship that lasts and lasts.

 

I helps some to meet someone else i guess but in time you find that they aint all that either. I think it is better to take a break, find yourself again, then get back out there. I have dated but Im taking it slow. I want a new man but I dont want the drama right now. The peace is so wonderful

[9Lives]

My ex and I broke up when I came back to my home country. Not going to blame her for that since we are far apart and she said the feeling couldn't go further. I did the whole begging thing for about 9 months and BANG she said she's in love with someone and said some harsh words that totally ripped my heart.

The last thing she said was we can't have each other in our lives at this moment and it's going to take years for me to heal. She also said we shouldn't talk for a few years. I went NC afterwards and things got better. I began to focus on work and work out more often. I became a human again even though I was hallow inside.

2 months after NC, I got an email from her saying "hi. how have you been?" I replied by just say "hi. I have been doing fine" didn't ask about her because I don't want myself to wait for her reply. Turns out I kept thinking if I was mean and sent her a message on aim 8 days ago saying "the email didn't mean to be rude". Of cause she went through the whole " oh what email?" "the one i sent a month ago?". I decided not to play the game and just say " yea, i guess" but I got weak and said "well it;s probably sounds pathetic to you, but who cares, I just want to clarify that I wasn't mean". she did ask me why I said so, but I never replied.

I decided to go on aim ytd and found out she sent an offline message to me saying "hi". Well at that point I was wondering who would say hi to someone who is OFFLINE? So I replied "hi. don't think I was on when you sent the message" and... she didn't relpy and went offline after 30 mins.

 

I began to see a pattern, and dispite knowing it might be her trap. I fell for it everytime. Maybe she just meant to say hi? I don't know. BUT all i want to tell her is "If you have sometime to say, MAKE A CONVERSATION instead of just saying hi! If you have nothing to say, then BACK OFF" I need time to heal =(

 

Why does she do that? I still want her and I know we will be friend someday in the future but I need to get the dignity I once destroyed when I kept begging her to come back.

 

My ex was saying hi and that. It just pissed me off and I got annoyed. YOU Left ME!!!! how the fk do you think im doing. It all about them and gives them more control again. Shut up! Yeah a little flattered that you are thinking about me but responding makes you silent which proves...it is all about your stanking a/ss!