teaforone Posted November 25, 2010 Share Posted November 25, 2010 I'm wanting to stay the night with my boyfriend on Saturday after i get off from work through Sunday. Problem is, i have very strict overbearing parents even at the age of 23 and they wouldn't like this one bit. I used to lie and say i'm "staying" with my sister, but i think my dad's caught on to that one. I'd say i'm spending the night with someone else, but i'm not really good friends with any other girls enough to spend the night. I'm afraid if i just straight up tell them i'm not coming home until Sunday, they'll kick me out. (this is coming from the man that says he'll kick me out for smoking, tattoos, and piercings) To give an idea of how my parents are: -I have to hide my movies, cds, and some video games from them -My dad things R rated movies are garbage -My parents once bought a dvd player that bleeped out all the bad words -I have a curfew of 9:30-10 even on weekends -I have about zero freedom -My mom is constantly asking about my personal life -If i'm going out i have to give them a time, where i'm going, who with, and what time i'll be back -I have to text them an okay to let them know the other people i'm meeting are in fact there. -They can't sleep if i stay out later then 10 -My parents don't want me going over to my boyfriends house to hang out period. (i do anyway) -I was never aloud to show anger, i was told to stop before my dad hears me. -If i did something that made my dad mad, he'd ignore me for several days. (for example, i bought a laptop with my money and he wouldn't talk for a week) It's gotten to the point that i'm trying to please them so much that i never really had a life of my own, its like i have two personalities. One that wants to please them, and the real me. I've also tried talking to them countless times which never seems to work. It goes in one ear and out the other. Any help would be much appreciated! Link to post Share on other sites
tb24 Posted November 25, 2010 Share Posted November 25, 2010 Wow. You're 23? What you say sounds like something a 15 year old would say. This is not normal behaviour (Why did buying a laptop offend your dad????). I think confrontation here is the only way! Have you told them how ridiculous they are being? Have you considered moving out or at least thretening to? I'm 24 and live with my parents. They don't care what I do as long as they know if I'm going to be in or out. If they were like yours I'd have left home long long ago. It seems like they have zero respect or trust for you. Why are you extending them a courtesy they are not giving you? Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted November 25, 2010 Share Posted November 25, 2010 Gosh, they sound like mine! Are you sure they aren't hardcore Christians in a traditional culture too? You say you're working though. If I were you I'd think big and start planning to move out instead of spending all the time and effort planning just ONE overnight stay. If you must, say you have to attend a work event in another state or something. Link to post Share on other sites
reservoirdog1 Posted November 25, 2010 Share Posted November 25, 2010 (edited) Your parents aren't going to change. Why would they? They've exerted so much control over you for so long and, despite becoming an adult, you've continued to go along with it. Not your fault while you were a kid obviously. And it's not your "fault" now. But by staying there, you're allowing yourself to remain under their control. So, you have two choices: 1. Accept their tyrannical control of your life. 2. Move out, and become your own person. I'd recommend #2. Hands down. Sure, #1 will avoid causing friction with your parents. But it will leave you miserable. Who are you living for? Yourself, or your parents? You need to recognize that pissing off your parents may be inevitable if you're going to become a fully functioning adult, capable of making her own choices. Having them mad at you will probably not be a lot of fun. But it's probably going to happen sooner or later anyway. A life half lived isn't worth living. #2 will cause you friction with your parents, probably. But at least you'll be free. And if they bear a grudge or won't speak to you because you move out, that tells you a HELL of a lot about who they are and how little positive value they bring to your life anyway. Edited November 25, 2010 by reservoirdog1 Link to post Share on other sites
DaisyLeigh Posted November 25, 2010 Share Posted November 25, 2010 I'm wanting to stay the night with my boyfriend on Saturday after i get off from work through Sunday. Problem is, i have very strict overbearing parents even at the age of 23 and they wouldn't like this one bit. I used to lie and say i'm "staying" with my sister, but i think my dad's caught on to that one. I'd say i'm spending the night with someone else, but i'm not really good friends with any other girls enough to spend the night. I'm afraid if i just straight up tell them i'm not coming home until Sunday, they'll kick me out. (this is coming from the man that says he'll kick me out for smoking, tattoos, and piercings) To give an idea of how my parents are: -I have to hide my movies, cds, and some video games from them -My dad things R rated movies are garbage -My parents once bought a dvd player that bleeped out all the bad words -I have a curfew of 9:30-10 even on weekends -I have about zero freedom -My mom is constantly asking about my personal life -If i'm going out i have to give them a time, where i'm going, who with, and what time i'll be back -I have to text them an okay to let them know the other people i'm meeting are in fact there. -They can't sleep if i stay out later then 10 -My parents don't want me going over to my boyfriends house to hang out period. (i do anyway) -I was never aloud to show anger, i was told to stop before my dad hears me. -If i did something that made my dad mad, he'd ignore me for several days. (for example, i bought a laptop with my money and he wouldn't talk for a week) It's gotten to the point that i'm trying to please them so much that i never really had a life of my own, its like i have two personalities. One that wants to please them, and the real me. I've also tried talking to them countless times which never seems to work. It goes in one ear and out the other. Any help would be much appreciated! Get your own place. You are an adult, and if you want to be treated as such, act as such. If you have money for laptops, etc, then a small apartment should not be out of the question. Get a roommate if needed. Their house, their rules. Link to post Share on other sites
TwinkletOes26 Posted November 26, 2010 Share Posted November 26, 2010 Are you in college? If so then try to live on campus at least them you can get food and shelter and not have to deal with them for a little while. I agree with the other poster about they are not going to change(trust me i understand i have controlling parents) best thing to do is to get away as fast as you can..... If you have a job (in this horrid economy i hope so) save up say like 200 out of each pay check if you can until you enough to live off of for a while. Just know that you are not at fault you are not doing anything to cause their treatment. Its your parents who have a problem not you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author teaforone Posted December 2, 2010 Author Share Posted December 2, 2010 Wow. You're 23? What you say sounds like something a 15 year old would say. This is not normal behaviour (Why did buying a laptop offend your dad????). I think confrontation here is the only way! Have you told them how ridiculous they are being? Have you considered moving out or at least thretening to? I'm 24 and live with my parents. They don't care what I do as long as they know if I'm going to be in or out. If they were like yours I'd have left home long long ago. It seems like they have zero respect or trust for you. Why are you extending them a courtesy they are not giving you? I honestly don't really know why it offended him so much. Yeah, i've tried talking to them about it until i'm blue in the face but it doesn't do a bit of good. And yeah, i've threated to move out and i talk about moving out on a regular basis and they just get really quiet. Link to post Share on other sites
Grobyc Posted December 2, 2010 Share Posted December 2, 2010 Their house, their rules. Totally don't agree with that. There is a difference between House Rules, and general respect. She's 23 and being treated like a 14 year old. Link to post Share on other sites
FanFan Posted December 2, 2010 Share Posted December 2, 2010 Do they know that you had sex with your boyfriend? You need to tell them what you have done with your boyfriend. Link to post Share on other sites
GorillaTheater Posted December 2, 2010 Share Posted December 2, 2010 Do they know that you had sex with your boyfriend? You need to tell them what you have done with your boyfriend. What the hell will that accomplish? My 22-year-old daughter lives with us (for the time being). She spends the night with her bf, but not in my house (damn it). I'm not blind to it, but I sure as hell don't want to be discussing her sex life with her if I don't have to. OP, move out. Save everybody, especially yourself, a lot of pain and frustration. Your parents' position isn't going to change. So it's you who's going to have to do something different. Link to post Share on other sites
FanFan Posted December 2, 2010 Share Posted December 2, 2010 What the hell will that accomplish? To ensure that her parents have faced reality. Link to post Share on other sites
GorillaTheater Posted December 2, 2010 Share Posted December 2, 2010 To ensure that her parents have faced reality. From her description of her parents, I don't know that they're all that interested in reality. And "Mom! Dad! I'm banging this guy like a screen door in a hurricane!" doesn't seem real constructive in this instance. Link to post Share on other sites
NoLongerSad Posted December 3, 2010 Share Posted December 3, 2010 Maybe the parents are just having a tough time mentally visualizing some horny sweaty dude ejaculating bucktloads of cum in their precious baby daughter's vagina, mouth and anus. Link to post Share on other sites
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