From friends to more ?

[TomerT]

Hi all,

Your opinion very appreciated..

 

I have a female friend...Lately we have been spending quite a lot time together...(much more than we used to)...Also several times we were at my place really late, and for sure crossed the line of "just friends"..Nothing sexual happened - but a lot of cuddling, teasing, touching...When I suggested her to stay at my place (it was already 2 in the night) instead of driving her home so late, she told me "why to rush, we will have more opportunities in the future".... Yesterday, pretty similar story...somehow we found each other in my bed (checking my new mattress )..so again we started to cuddle and when I started to be a little bit more serious with the touching, she remarked me "friends do not suppose to touch each other like this"...My response was "Yeah, you right". I immediately got up and went to the kitchen finish my tea...After 5 mins in the bed she also got up and asked me to drive her home. We kissed each other good bye and split on good terms, but still we both could feel some "unresolved" issues...

 

Now, I really do not know what she wants. Does she want to be intimate with me ? She gave me a lot of reason to think so, on the other hand, when I made some real move in this direction - she gave me this comment. In two days we are going to party together (was planned before), I do not how to act now. Should I treat her like my gf or like a friend ? Does it mean if I see someone I like, can I ask her number ? It happens once (few weeks ago) and she didn't like it..

 

Please give me some advice, what this girl want and how should I proceed ?

We both 33-36 age group.

 

Thanks

[icedude]

I think she may have said that because she wanted to know whether you think of her as a friend or more than that. But she didn't reject you, she just pointed out that friends don't really do that. And she stayed on your bed for five minutes later, maybe hoping you would come back? I can't tell you for sure, but sounds like she is maybe more interested in you, she just wants you to act on it. It's also a good sign if she wasn't upset with you or anything afterward. Try acting like her boyfriend at the party and see what she does!

 

I'm in a similar situation, why must women be so cryptic...

[TomerT]

Thanks all....

The problem is that I am not sure if I really want relationship right now...with her specifically and in general...It's just we both single now, have a lot in common...attracting to each other...I do not see her as my "wife"...therefore not sure if it is worth to start something I initially know will eventually end...On the other hand - in the past, when I started dating fully believing "this is IT!" I was brutally broken...So no guarantees in this world.. I also "afraid" if we will break up one day - we will "lose" each other even as a friends...which I really don't have too much, especially we have many friends in common and will see each other on different occasions...From what I read here (and from my personal experience) - break ups are never "smooth"..someone will be hurt...I do not want to be this person and of course don't want to hurt her...I am confused

[Ometeotl]

First of all,

 

What do you want? If you want to be just friends, set those boundaries here and now. Stop ****ing around and cuddling and all that, dont lie to yourself and think you can cuddle and not get attached beyond friends (evidence to your feelings).

 

However, if you dont want to be just friends, just ride this portion out as long as you friggin can, and enjoy it. The honest truth is she may not know what she wants, so the best thing for you to do is to make decisions that are best for yourself, is this relationship affecting other parts of your life, is it making you neurotic, does it make you happy? Is it healthy?

 

Once you figure out what you want, then the entire situation will change, besides you could always just set it and forget it, take your time to figure out what kinda line it is yall are trying to walk and if you even want to do that, or if you want to just say, naw, we either step this **** up or bring it down to the surface and actually try to love eachother's personalities, if they have the characteristics that you find you like in a friend (loyal, trustworthy, smart, funny, etc), they way the think, the things they are interested in, what make them a unique person, what makes any of your guy friends a friend.

 

If you are going to be just friends with a woman, you are gonna have to focus all the energy thats going to your cock, put in your brain, and start setting limits and become focused on actually being a friend. Otherwise, yall are not friends, yall are something else which is fine, but its just not friends.