NoLongerSad Posted November 28, 2010 Share Posted November 28, 2010 Too bad you're wrong. I think everyone is a great catch in their own way. And if you would take the time to tell me about yourself, I'll prove it to you! You completely glossed over perhaps the most important issue as to whether or not you are a great catch, which is, the circumstances of the break-up of your marriage of ten years. Since you're in your early 30's, this relationship was basically your entire adult life. Anyone contemplating getting into a serious LTR with you would want to know more than that you just "grew apart" from your spouse. Yet you also claim to have been happily married. You claim to have no baggage but this unexplained very recent history of relationship failure would be a deal-breaker for most people, regardless of your various more or less superficial "great" qualities. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted November 28, 2010 Share Posted November 28, 2010 As alpha would say, indeed. Indeed......... Link to post Share on other sites
NoLongerSad Posted November 28, 2010 Share Posted November 28, 2010 My honesty is something i deeply value about myself. Great. So why did you get divorced after ten years of being in a "happy" marriage? Also, why don't you think that history is relevant to whether or not you would be a "great" catch for someone looking for a serious relationship with you? Link to post Share on other sites
RecordProducer Posted November 28, 2010 Share Posted November 28, 2010 (edited) Two months ago, my 10 year marriage came to an end. I am going through tough, nay devestating, times myself. Oh, Sarah, I thought you were married like long time ago and it wasn't serious. I just got divorced and have a "spare tear" for all women going through the same crap. When we are freshly divorced, we usually have a lot of self-esteem to recover. Now I see the motive for your thread and it makes a lot of sense. Yes, let's make a self-loving fan club and glorify our qualities (and bury our flaws for now ) because we really, really, really need to feel good enough to keep our faith in love. I first got separated from my first husband when I was 25. I thought my life was over. Seriously. I thought I had two little kids, I was defective goods, who would want me, I am a nobody, I have no money, life is sh*tty. And it was. But I had no clue that I'd ever be where I am now. And had I stayed married, I would've been doomed because I was in a place where I didn't belong. My second marriage ended just now, at age 35, and I feel like my life is just about to begin because I am working toward my degree, I'm still young, and my kids are relatively independent. Emotionally, I feel lonely and crappy because I yearn for someone to love me, I am sick of being jealous of my ex-husband and having casual sex with him occasionally. I am sick of wondering why he dumped me. I am sick of seeing his brand new million-dollar worth house while I don't buy smoked fish because it's too expensive. And it certainly burns my ego real bad knowing that he - a guy almost two decades older than I am - ditched me as if he can have women like me anytime (he doesn't have anyone and we've been separated for almost two years). So, my point is: divorce brings mixed feelings about our worth. On the one hand, you feel like a rat after a flood; on the other hand, the pain can re-energize you and put you in a "start mode," where you re-discover your long forgotten qualities, dreams, and strengths. My first divorce was a blessing - and I feel like Life is yet to show me what a blessing my second divorce will turn out to be. Edited November 28, 2010 by RecordProducer Link to post Share on other sites
NoLongerSad Posted November 28, 2010 Share Posted November 28, 2010 My definition of a "catch" is someone who is defensive, relentlessly attacks other people and never admits they're wrong. Yeah, but that's the "Deadliest Catch." Link to post Share on other sites
Undine Posted November 28, 2010 Share Posted November 28, 2010 ............ The Mean Girls are out tonight. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sarah1977 Posted November 28, 2010 Author Share Posted November 28, 2010 Northern, i feel justified in what i said, too. Did i hurt you? If i did, i'm sorry. As for mybthread, i know in my heart that in starting this thread, i didn't want to make people feel bad, unconsciously or otherwise. I'm sorry that you don't believe that. In my post to you, i said it'd like for you to focus on some good things about yourself. I stand by that comment. Record, thank you for that post. I cried a little while reading it. I'm so glad you're trucking along. You are an inspiration to me. All the best. Link to post Share on other sites
BobSacamento Posted November 28, 2010 Share Posted November 28, 2010 Oh, Sarah, I thought you were married like long time ago and it wasn't serious. I just got divorced and have a "spare tear" for all women going through the same crap. When we are freshly divorced, we usually have a lot of self-esteem to recover. Now I see the motive for your thread and it makes a lot of sense. Yes, let's make a self-loving fan club and glorify our qualities (and bury our flaws for now ) because we really, really, really need to feel good enough to keep our faith in love. I first got separated from my first husband when I was 25. I thought my life was over. Seriously. I thought I had two little kids, I was defective goods, who would want me, I am a nobody, I have no money, life is sh*tty. And it was. But I had no clue that I'd ever be where I am now. And had I stayed married, I would've been doomed because I was in a place where I didn't belong. My second marriage ended just now, at age 35, and I feel like my life is just about to begin because I am working toward my degree, I'm still young, and my kids are relatively independent. Emotionally, I feel lonely and crappy because I yearn for someone to love me, I am sick of being jealous of my ex-husband and having casual sex with him occasionally. I am sick of wondering why he dumped me. I am sick of seeing his brand new million-dollar worth house while I don't buy smoked fish because it's too expensive. And it certainly burns my ego real bad knowing that he - a guy almost two decades older than I am - ditched me as if he can have women like me anytime (he doesn't have anyone and we've been separated for almost two years). So, my point is: divorce brings mixed feelings about our worth. On the one hand, you feel like a rat after a flood; on the other hand, the pain can re-energize you and put you in a "start mode," where you re-discover your long forgotten qualities, dreams, and strengths. My first divorce was a blessing - and I feel like Life is yet to show me what a blessing my second divorce will turn out to be. I think we are on the same page. I think the intention of the original post was to boost an individuals ego. Not really my cup of tea as pride can be very dangerous. The only way I can see someone attacking the OP because they perceived it as malicious is if they were envious. Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted November 28, 2010 Share Posted November 28, 2010 I think we are on the same page. I think the intention of the original post was to boost an individuals ego. Not really my cup of tea as pride can be very dangerous. The only way I can see someone attacking the OP because they perceived it as malicious is if they were envious. There was nothing malicious about the OP. It was her comments thereafter, post #139, which she finally apologized for moments ago. Link to post Share on other sites
northern_sky Posted November 28, 2010 Share Posted November 28, 2010 I think we are on the same page. I think the intention of the original post was to boost an individuals ego. Not really my cup of tea as pride can be very dangerous. The only way I can see someone attacking the OP because they perceived it as malicious is if they were envious. Nobody accused her OP of being malicious. Link to post Share on other sites
Tony Posted November 28, 2010 Senior Moderators Share Posted November 28, 2010 As threads always go, after 10 to 25 posts it's downhill...with intermittent off topic and petty bickering posts....and the bickering intensifies...until one or more members go back home and get their guns...and they return but realize they forgot the bullets....but instead of returning for the bullets they grab whatever is near and begin beating the tar out of everybody they see. In comes moderator after tolerating such for several hundred posts. When almost everybody is bloodied beyond recognition, thread is closed, EMTs are summoned and a triage is performed whereby the most seriously injured are flown by Medivac to the nearest hospital. The remainder are taken by ambulance to the ER. Those who have expired are just buried in the back of the nearest office building since the site has no money for cemetery plots. And the world just keeps going and going and going. Link to post Share on other sites
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