Are you a good catch?

[threebyfate]

Folks like you make me realize that I'm bitter after two divorces. Thanks for the reminder. I mean, I still think most men are like the ones I described, but that for point out that there are some normal men out there. Because I can't play those games anyway.

There really are great guys out there. It just takes time to get over the hurt. Have some patience with yourself and also the search. Kick back, relax and enjoy being single. Once you've done that, they tend to come out of the woodwork.

[jimbo]

I do! Cuz you don't sound like a fake bitch. Same with the original poster. I too wear my heart in my sleeve and seek justice. Only calculated, manipulative women catch the best guys - because men are soooooooo naive. Men like women who give them freedom and are too busy for them, because they present a challenge. Men don't realize that thee women just don't care about them. In fact, the less they care the more the men want them. If you want to catch ANY man, just act like you're a perfect woman, give him what he wants (fun, lovely company, great sex) and then take it away. Play the push-and-pull game and he'll be eating from your hands. I've never been able to do that because I was too open and honest, too passionate and clingy.

 

Doesn't work with me. My ex did that and I left.

[northern_sky]

According to all my exes (except for my last ex who thinks I"m a psychobitch) I'm a great catch.

 

Their words: You're smart, cultured, beautiful, loving, fun to be around, affectionate.

 

I agree with some of their compliments, but I also have huge areas for improvement.

 

I'm anxious, insecure, disorganized, depressed, demanding, and neurotic.

 

That's as honest a response as I could manage.

[Sarah1977]

I don't think I'm a good catch. I'm finishing up my undergrad next month and am just starting to look around for a career. I'm not a homeowner, nor am I looking to be one for several years. I don't know how effective I am in bed, but I strive to be the best and am up for anything as long as it is not creepy. I'm also incredibly assertive and a b i t ch. I don't tolerate fools lightly.

 

My only bonus is I'm good with money and my total debt is $200 I just put on a credit card this month. It will be paid off in December. Oh, and I have a fantastic rapport with older people.

 

For some reason my boyfriend thinks I'm a great catch, though... I don't argue with him.

 

See, that's just a negative way to look at it.

 

I'd say you're well educated and are on the cusp of having a wonderful career. You're practical and smart in that you don't want to buy a home until your job situation is secure. Assertive is a good quality, not bad. Very little debt, good with grandma, and sexually adventurous.

 

I'm sorry, but that sounds like a great catch to me too!

[FearandLoathing]

Yup. I have good values, morals, a sense of humour, and enough intelligence to get me by...

 

Seriously, these lists of things about cooking and being attractive and having degrees and doing all sorts of charity work and being amazing in bed are hilarious. You don't need these things to find someone who's perfect for you. Any person you're going to be with long term is going to accept your shortcomings and challenge you. There isn't any checklist at all to being a great catch. Do these things for YOU, not because you think they'll make you look more attractive to people...

 

If anything, insecure people are going to read this and think "oh hey, I don't do any of these things, I must not be a good catch..." because that's what insecure people do. Most people have debt, most people are only amazing in bed when they're with someone they're compatible with in bed, a lot of people don't volunteer or work out because they don't have time between kids and working possibly more than one job to pay bills. This doesn't lower someone's attractiveness to other people -_-

 

My boyfriend thinks I'm amazing just the way I am and that's how it should be.

[irc333]

-I'm still living with my parents at aged 24 (Though I'm buying my own home in the new year!)

 

Don't know many 24 year olds that own a home....esp. single people that age, they mostly rent...you must be doing somthing right.

[RecordProducer]

but that for point out that there are some normal men out there.

I meant "thanks for pointing out..." Geez, I can't type.

 

There really are great guys out there. It just takes time to get over the hurt. Have some patience with yourself and also the search. Kick back, relax and enjoy being single. Once you've done that, they tend to come out of the woodwork.

You promise?

I'm also incredibly assertive and a b i t ch . . . For some reason my boyfriend thinks I'm a great catch, though...

See, Threebyfate?

 

Doesn't work with me. My ex did that and I left.

Hey, a real bitch is not a woman who acts like a bitch - it's a woman who acts like an angel!

[Sanman]

Well, I guess I could list the numerous reasons that I am a good catch. It really isn't that different from what most have listed here. The big bonus is that I am a good guy in my late 20's who is looking for a serious relationship and willing to put my SO first in my life. Then again, I don't really have a problem getting attractive women to date me. Now, getting a relationship past the 6 month mark is a different story. Personally, I plan to keep trying new things and doing my best to correct me flaws. Now, if that doesn't make me a catch, I don't know what will.

[threebyfate]

You promise?

Nope but that's the way it's always happened for me.

See, Threebyfate?

Sorry, can't speak for the other members.

[Sarah1977]

Well lets see: I make $800 a month at age 31 because I cant find fulltime work. I have thousands in debt and am about to take on 50k+ more for graduate school. I rent a room from a friend who never leaves the house, and will have to move back home in a few years to help support my unemployed father. I've only had one relationship and have never been on a traditional "date".

 

On the other hand, I make that $800 a month teaching guitar. If the economy ever turns around, I might make decent money after law school.

 

So, I guess my answer is "I don't know".

 

See, people on here are so down on themselves! It's shocking.

 

The fact that you'd be willing to move home to help your unemployed Father shows kindness and compassion and a strong love of family. You're also musically inclined and a future lawyer. Come on, now. You really can't see your strengths?

[ConstantCraving]

So, what qualities have you actively tried to develop to make yourself a great catch?

 

1. I have a job interview on Monday.

 

Being unemployed effectively makes me undateable. That's something I need to fix.

 

2. I'm working on my health.

 

No-one wants to date someone with an ugly skin complaint.

 

3. I'm working out with weights.

 

No dramatic results yet, but I am getting stronger.

 

4. I've changed my diet.

 

I feel ALOT better for doing that. My midsection is alot leaner too.

 

If I am gainfully employed, healthy and fit then rejection doesn't feel so bad.

[yah]

Sarah, it sounds to me that you are very optimistic, turning any trait into something positive. While its good to be optimistic sometimes, its also important to remain objective...

[ConstantCraving]

I have my own home, no debt, love my job, and cant pay for a women to date me.

 

Ohhh...come on man. That's not literally true is it?

 

If you are getting rejected when you ask women out, maybe you should try asking different women?

 

Do you only go for the real hotties?

[EasyHeart]

I've never really thought about it in these terms, but I don't think I want to be a "catch".

 

It sounds like I'm being hauled off to prison . . . .

[jimbo]

Ohhh...come on man. That's not literally true is it?

 

If you are getting rejected when you ask women out, maybe you should try asking different women?

 

Do you only go for the real hotties?

 

I am having the same problem. I consider all women as long as they have a job, good education, somewhat down to earth and is in at least decent shape.

[Ross PK]

I don't know. I mean no one has shown any interest in me yet. So that would say that I'm not.

 

But I think for most people whether you're some well balanced person with a great income, who likes socialising all the time and doing out doors stuff. Or someone who likes to bum around and doesn't want a job and enjoys watching TV all day. You're going to be a good catch to some people.

[JohnnyBlaze]

I guess it depends on who you ask. I'm like everyone else; I have my pluses and my minuses. Some things that I see as a plus, others see as a minus...and vice versa. It all depends on what the woman's looking for.

 

I'll be the first to admit that I'm an odd combination. I'm definitely not your regular cup of tea! Some elements just don't naturally go with others, but they've worked for me, so I stick with 'em. The problem is in finding a woman who can handle the combination. I'm not saying that she's not out there, but I know I ain't dating her yet.

 

So am I a good catch? Sure...to the right chick.

[green_tea]

You're going to be a good catch to some people.

 

This is just what I was thinking. A good catch is different for everyone, which is good otherwise nobody would be getting together.

[Ross PK]

This is just what I was thinking. A good catch is different for everyone, which is good otherwise nobody would be getting together.

 

Yup. I was just about to add to my post. That it's all subjective.

 

Even the guy sitting on his doorstep with bad hygine and breakfast down his string vest, will be a good catch to some women. As you see guys like that all the time with partners.

[Eeyore79]

You don't need these things to find someone who's perfect for you. Any person you're going to be with long term is going to accept your shortcomings and challenge you. There isn't any checklist at all to being a great catch.

 

I know you don't have to be fantastic in order to find someone who's right for you, but you'd think that having a lot going for you plus no major dealbreakers would give you a much wider pool to choose from. Therefore the more you have going for you, the easier it should be to find someone, no?

 

Yet I see people who seem to have less going for them but have a lovely stable relationship, while I'm still unmarried. So what is it, just sheer luck?

[Dante311]

I'm, like, kind of a big deal.

 

Positives about me:

 

-6' tall, 200 lbs w/ 10% bodyfat when I'm not training to be lean(er)... ie I'm in pretty damn good shape. And I'd like to say I'm good looking (physically) and have been told I am.

-I dress well and have a pretty good sense of style

-I have been told I'm epic in bed, which definitely gives me a sense of confidence

-I'm not hurting financially

-I have my own apartment, fully furnished

-I own my car 2008 Kia Spectra EX (nothing glamorous, but I'm only a grad student)

-The only debt I have are student loans... which help build credit.

-I have my bachelors and masters degrees in Kinesiology

-I'm a certified personal trainer (ACSM)

-I'm a certified heath fitness specialist (ACSM)

-I am enrolled in a PhD program, but actually applying to medical schools for my Md (ie not finishing my PhD.

-I would like to believe I'm affluent in the sciences with respects to health, fitness, wellness, metabolism, physiology, and disease/s w/ disease risk... specializing in cardiovascular disease and type 2 diabetes.

-I love to cook and obviously know how to...

 

The negatives

 

-nothing, I'm simply awesome.

-just kidding...

-I can be impulsive sometimes and act (not physically/violently) without thinking things through sometimes

-I'm more reserved and quiet sometimes... making me hard to approach

-I can be a bit arrogant at times/self-absorbed (I'm working on this though with the a specialist)

-My lifestyle is ALL about fitness and bodybuilding.. which doesn't seem to clash well with other's interests... ie I don't eat normally.. i'm up very early to gym it up...

-I can be impatient at times

-I hate being told what to do (let me be more specific, I hate taking orders when being spoken down to in a berating manner... I will tend to abstain from the task/chore being delegated for that reason)

-I have a sense of accomplishment in my life and that stands perfectly as hubris which I try to suppress... but makes me subconsciously seem like I'm an arrogant piece of ****

-I can be too kind sometimes and put others before myself... which sometimes hurts me emotionally

[daphne]

Sarah - You really do sound like a good catch. And humble too since you can admit you're a crappy driver.

 

1- Good person with integrity

2- Empathetic.

3- Gracious

4- Good in the sack.

5- Very intelligent.

6- Rich

7- No debt & good with money

8- Independent, but still need a man

9- Very good cook when I want to be (just ask the people at Thanksgiving yesterday)

10- In great shape

11- Am told I'm a 12 out of 10

12- Good manners

13- Dress well

14- Fun loving, but with a good head on my shoulders

15- Give people the benefit of the doubt, and don't necessarily call them out when they're being assclowns.

[Sarah1977]

Sarah - You really do sound like a good catch. And humble too since you can admit you're a crappy driver.

 

 

I'm also a terrible cook. Holy crap, I didn't realize so many women were fantastic cooks! I don't know if I should learn to cook to keep up or marry you all.

[EasyHeart]

11- Am told I'm a 12 out of 10

You obviously attract men who are very bad at math. I hope that's not a dealbreaker for you.

[NoLongerSad]

-

I am enrolled in a PhD program, but actually applying to medical schools for my Md (ie not finishing my PhD.

-I would like to believe I'm affluent in the sciences with respects to health, fitness, wellness, metabolism, physiology, and disease/s w/ disease risk... specializing in cardiovascular disease and type 2 diabetes.

 

Sorry to say dude, but anyone who confuses the words "fluent" and "affluent" is not likely to be getting into an accredited medical school anytime soon.