shocked_confused Posted November 27, 2010 Share Posted November 27, 2010 Heyy, So three weeks ago my boyfriend of 6 years broke up with me after moving to a new city across the country just weeks earlier. We're both 24 and he decided he wanted to be single again and be on his own. As far as I was concerned, we were happy, but I guess he wasn't as happy with me as I thought... Anyway, I haven't been in contact with him at all in 9 days, before that it was LC. I deleted him from facebook and everything. However we have lots of mutual friends on facebook and I noticed that he wrote on one of our friends' wall today (more his friend than mine). He was talking about how amazing his new life is and how he has no complaints. It kind of hurt and it just made me sad to know that he is happy without me. Its not that i don't want him to ever be happy, just not so soon when i'm feeling so crappy! How can someone seem so unaffected by a devastating break up? Link to post Share on other sites
skydiveaddict Posted November 27, 2010 Share Posted November 27, 2010 It's easy for him 'cause he has no more feelings for you. I know how much that can hurt as well. Do yourself a favor and don't look at fb for a while. And don't have ANY contact with him. I'm sorry you're going through this, but you will make it Link to post Share on other sites
stopthemadness Posted November 27, 2010 Share Posted November 27, 2010 Heyy, So three weeks ago my boyfriend of 6 years broke up with me after moving to a new city across the country just weeks earlier. We're both 24 and he decided he wanted to be single again and be on his own. As far as I was concerned, we were happy, but I guess he wasn't as happy with me as I thought... Anyway, I haven't been in contact with him at all in 9 days, before that it was LC. I deleted him from facebook and everything. However we have lots of mutual friends on facebook and I noticed that he wrote on one of our friends' wall today (more his friend than mine). He was talking about how amazing his new life is and how he has no complaints. It kind of hurt and it just made me sad to know that he is happy without me. Its not that i don't want him to ever be happy, just not so soon when i'm feeling so crappy! How can someone seem so unaffected by a devastating break up? Because he knew before you did that you were breaking up. Thats what I think. Thats why it seems like he dont care. Am getting over heart ache too.. Good luck. it does get better. Link to post Share on other sites
pandagirl Posted November 27, 2010 Share Posted November 27, 2010 Don't sweat it. The truth is, you have no idea how he really feels, nor does it matter. I remember when my ex broke up with me, he seemed so robotic and unfeeling. I called him out on it, and he told me: "Just because I appear one way, it doesn't mean it's how I really feel..." What he meant was that he was sad and hurting too, but just wasn't showing that to me. I'm not saying that's what YOUR ex is feeling, too, but it's impossible to know what people are really thinking or feeling, so I wouldn't think about it too much. Link to post Share on other sites
AlisaMarie Posted November 27, 2010 Share Posted November 27, 2010 Anyway, I haven't been in contact with him at all in 9 days, before that it was LC. I deleted him from facebook and everything. However we have lots of mutual friends on facebook and I noticed that he wrote on one of our friends' wall today (more his friend than mine). He was talking about how amazing his new life is and how he has no complaints. It kind of hurt and it just made me sad to know that he is happy without me. Its not that i don't want him to ever be happy, just not so soon when i'm feeling so crappy! Deactivate your fb for a good solid 2 months. You can live without it for a while. That's what I had to do. And think about this, would a guy write anything negative on a FB wall? I highly doubt that he would say anything less than things are great even if he is dying inside. I bet you he feels just as sad and lost as you about the break up... but don't thrive on that. Link to post Share on other sites
Username37 Posted November 27, 2010 Share Posted November 27, 2010 Dumpers think about breaking up before they do it. They get emotionally detached so when it happens, it's a breath of fresh air and a whole lotta weight is off their shoulders. It's so painful. My ex moved on quick too. Go NC now. FB is your enemy. Link to post Share on other sites
Gt.ooh Posted November 27, 2010 Share Posted November 27, 2010 As I've said before...You can't overthink what you cannot control...it just makes for pains, and aches that you don't need to deal with. All the best, keep posting when you're feeling down . Link to post Share on other sites
AlisaMarie Posted November 27, 2010 Share Posted November 27, 2010 As I've said before...You can't overthink what you cannot control...it just makes for pains, and aches that you don't need to deal with. All the best, keep posting when you're feeling down . I know right! I love it here because I am not annoying my friends or family... and why I am here I don't cry and I care about what everyone else is going through. I know I am not alone. Link to post Share on other sites
Leandro Posted November 27, 2010 Share Posted November 27, 2010 Dumpers think about breaking up before they do it. They get emotionally detached so when it happens, it's a breath of fresh air and a whole lotta weight is off their shoulders. It's so painful. My ex moved on quick too. Go NC now. FB is your enemy. I agree with Username37. The dump day is like D-Day to the dumpers. They know what's coming and prepare for it (emotionally detach themselves). When that days comes and the second they break up with the dumpee its like the Americans have already conquered the beaches, the hard part is done and its smooth sailing for them. Its different for the dumpee, its like we're Hiroshima or Nagasaki. Nice sunny day, enjoying life, and then BOOM!!! Didn't see it coming and it hurts like hell, but we will be fine with time. Stick to NC and make sure to block him on FB or delete your account. Link to post Share on other sites
skydiveaddict Posted November 27, 2010 Share Posted November 27, 2010 (edited) This^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ above, wise words and I also agree w/ username 37 Edited November 27, 2010 by skydiveaddict Link to post Share on other sites
Fufu Posted November 27, 2010 Share Posted November 27, 2010 (edited) How he feel is no longer a matter. How you feel is more important. So what if he feels sad and hurt but he isn't doing anything to make the relationship work again. For people who can so easily lose feeling or lose heart in a long-term relationship, seriously they are so not worth waiting for. I simply dislike dumpers who see problems in relationship but instead of expressing them out or work hand in hand together to resolve conflicts and problems, they choose to runaway. We don't need this kind of people to be happy. Edited November 27, 2010 by Fufu Link to post Share on other sites
Author shocked_confused Posted November 27, 2010 Author Share Posted November 27, 2010 I agree with Username37. The dump day is like D-Day to the dumpers. They know what's coming and prepare for it (emotionally detach themselves). When that days comes and the second they break up with the dumpee its like the Americans have already conquered the beaches, the hard part is done and its smooth sailing for them. Its different for the dumpee, its like we're Hiroshima or Nagasaki. Nice sunny day, enjoying life, and then BOOM!!! Didn't see it coming and it hurts like hell, but we will be fine with time. Stick to NC and make sure to block him on FB or delete your account. LOL, I love your WW2 analogy, I guess its true though. Will his account be invisible to me too if i block him? i would prefer it that way than getting rid of fbook all together...I use it for so many other things! Link to post Share on other sites
Leandro Posted November 27, 2010 Share Posted November 27, 2010 LOL, I love your WW2 analogy, I guess its true though. Will his account be invisible to me too if i block him? i would prefer it that way than getting rid of fbook all together...I use it for so many other things! I think it should. Not really sure anymore since I deleted mine. Try it out and see what happens. Link to post Share on other sites
Username37 Posted November 27, 2010 Share Posted November 27, 2010 LOL, I love your WW2 analogy, I guess its true though. Will his account be invisible to me too if i block him? i would prefer it that way than getting rid of fbook all together...I use it for so many other things! Yeah it should be invisible. If not, look up the ex blocker online. It gives you a code that you put on your internet browser and it's suppose to "eliminate" your ex from the internet. No google searches, twitter, fbook, EVERYTHING! Link to post Share on other sites
lekker01234 Posted November 27, 2010 Share Posted November 27, 2010 I think all these posts are true. People usually think and weigh out the benefits of being in a relationship and allow themselves time to get detached before they end it. People also sometimes act one way in order to give you a certain impression when the truth is something else. The fact of the matter is you can't control what the situation is right now. I know it sucks and you feel empty and lonely inside but I have found that going out with your friends and talking to them is the best therapy. I would even recommend, if you have the time, to see a therapist for a session. You need to give your emotions time to heal. Stay away from FB and all contact with him. Try it for a week. I gaurantee that after that week things will be looking better. There is no substitute for time. I am not saying you have to move on but all I am saying is give yourself time to get emotionally detached. You look at the relationship in a whole other perspective, TRUST ME Link to post Share on other sites
Fermentum Posted November 27, 2010 Share Posted November 27, 2010 Block him on FB. That way there's no risk of ever seeing his posts. Link to post Share on other sites
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