tobydog Posted November 28, 2010 Share Posted November 28, 2010 I really would appreciate some answers to this. Since our split 11 weeks ago, he has become bitter and even more angry. We bought a load of sledges last Jan and didn't sell them so I moved some into the house yesterday and whilst I was out he came for the rest in the shed. No mention of his son who has been ill. As he didn't get them all I had was call after text last night thretening me with the police etc etc. Saying I am disgusting etc SUCH hatred of me. It's seems like we do something to each other and it fuels our rage. I am not that full of rage just disapontment and sadness that it has come to this. For example I cancelled all his DDebits from my account as he took the business which has since gone down the pan, so he has no phone or car insurance etc. He now says he wants half the house which he can't get as it is mine and he left me with a mountain of debt. He has not paid a penny for Matt. He has become so nasty, I do not know him. It's all my fault of course, I forced him to leave, I have ruined his life etc And he has nothing now, which is true. But I was prepared to work it out , get help which I have done. Now I am sat here scared waiting for him to come and break the door down....... Link to post Share on other sites
just_some_guy Posted November 28, 2010 Share Posted November 28, 2010 Stop the drama, get a lawyer, file proceedings. I'm not sure what they law is where you live, but it is time to get the legal stuff underway. If you are afraid or he's made threats, then get a restraining order. But from your other threads, I see a pattern of drama-instigation on your part. Time to clam up, go no-contact, get the legal papers filed and underway. Link to post Share on other sites
sirweasles Posted November 28, 2010 Share Posted November 28, 2010 do you have a brother a friend anybody that can stay with you for awhile. you should conact the police and let them know the situation and that you are unsure and scared they will likely patrol alittle more by your house. The bitterness comes from insecuritys and the unknown how we handle it is what gauges us. In the event that things dont work out with me and my wife I will never be her friend again but I will never be her enemy either. My advice is to get sombody there that can help you incase he decides to break in and get a restraining order he will eventually calm down and come to his senses and then maybe and hopfully for your childs sake he will man up and be atleast a contributing factor in your childs life. some never reach that point they just become dead beat parents and in the case of my step daughter there are men out there that will love your child as there own, keep that in mind always and never allow anybody that doesnt put your childs intrests first to come into your life. Link to post Share on other sites
Author tobydog Posted November 29, 2010 Author Share Posted November 29, 2010 just some guy....why I am instigating it? I want nothing more than to not see him again! Link to post Share on other sites
just_some_guy Posted November 29, 2010 Share Posted November 29, 2010 just some guy....why I am instigating it? I want nothing more than to not see him again! Then file the damn papers and get on with it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author tobydog Posted November 29, 2010 Author Share Posted November 29, 2010 Bit mean that! He wants to d me, so he can get on with it. He's left us penniless and I sure can't afford to d him! You are obviously annoyed by my posts... Link to post Share on other sites
fltc Posted November 29, 2010 Share Posted November 29, 2010 He wants to d me, so he can get on with it. He's left us penniless and I sure can't afford to d him! The sooner you get divorced the sooner you'll get some financial relief, either alimony or some kind of a settlement. Link to post Share on other sites
Ballerfamily Posted November 29, 2010 Share Posted November 29, 2010 Bit mean that! He wants to d me, so he can get on with it. He's left us penniless and I sure can't afford to d him! You are obviously annoyed by my posts... sorry TD that sucks. mine did that to me also. If you file, you can get temporary support and alimony. he prolly feels tremendous guilt and shame, and is striking out. Theres NPD and other behavioral disorders also. They cant stand there world Link to post Share on other sites
just_some_guy Posted November 29, 2010 Share Posted November 29, 2010 Bit mean that! He wants to d me, so he can get on with it. He's left us penniless and I sure can't afford to d him! You are obviously annoyed by my posts... I'm not annoyed with you, but you set off my BS detector on many levels. So what is it, you want divorced, or not? Over and over in these threads, you hold up your 4-year old son, that you are ready to use a bludgeon to hit him over the head with. You admitted alcoholism previously, presumably you are sober now. But the traits run deep and there's a lot of bad behavior in alcoholics even when they go dry. You post a lot of "poor me, I'm the victim and did I tell you he doesn't care about our son either???" threads. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted November 29, 2010 Share Posted November 29, 2010 OP, how much are the filing fees in your jurisdiction? For us, it was 390.00 including service by the sheriff. It was posted on the court web site. IME, and we've done it here in Cali (now final), it's not hard to file properly. Why do things get bitter? You each are ripping apart a contract inked in love. There's fear of failure, fear of the unknown, hurt from all the actions which precipitated the split, etc, etc., all focused onto this one point in time. Other than death, divorce is one of the most intensely emotional periods one will face in life. I faced both in the last year. It's something you survive. Good luck Link to post Share on other sites
Author tobydog Posted November 30, 2010 Author Share Posted November 30, 2010 JSG---I am not saying I am blameless at all. I used to binge drink 2x per week but I would not consider myself an alcoholic. No I love him and do not want a divorce but there is no going back so I feel the quicker the better. As for my son, all I want to know that he is safe when he takes him in view of his increasing anger. I am not holding him as a bludgeon at all, just want secure and formal arrangements. I have found a lot of good advice on these boards and am very grateful for it all. Link to post Share on other sites
Surfer203 Posted November 30, 2010 Share Posted November 30, 2010 mariem1967: Your closeted advertising is sickening me.. I'm sure everyone else here is annoyed by it too. I would suggest knocking it off. Link to post Share on other sites
worlybear Posted November 30, 2010 Share Posted November 30, 2010 Ermmmmm... Don't want to pour cold water on the idea that you can file and get a divorce "just like that", but the reality is (in u.k anyway) that legal proceedings work so slowly here, they practically stop. I filed for divorce this Jan (2010) and have still not got beyond decree nisi. The stumbling blocks and legal pomposity would be laughable if it wasn't so inept and pathetic. Trying to access legal aid is like getting onto a hamster wheel and running incessantly- without actually getting anywhere! The sheer incompotence is truly breathtaking. Best of luck if you try this route TD you'll need it! Link to post Share on other sites
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