So lonely.....

[nsearch4u]

I remember when i was 25. People always thought i was older because of how i carried myself and where i was in life. Others my age were boneheads usually....maybe he's over those bonehead days. maybe he's just more mature than the average 25 yr old. Dont let it become a mental block for you. You've had to deal with too many things already....just enjoy the moment....one little moment at a time....and see where it goes....

[willowthewisp]

It is a bit of a mental block, grrrrrr

[nsearch4u]

It is a bit of a mental block, grrrrrr

 

well, if it is, it might just be something telling you he isnt the one. He could be a good friend however.....

 

spent any more time with him?

[willowthewisp]

I have a question if any one can help me out? Is it wrong of me to sill be chatting to other guys on the dating site? I've agreed to another date, but haven't set one and I'm still getting to know him. What's the done thing here?

 

Thanks

[willowthewisp]

well, if it is, it might just be something telling you he isnt the one. He could be a good friend however.....

 

spent any more time with him?

 

No, not yet, bit busy with school work at the moment, but we are texting back and forth all day.

[nsearch4u]

I have a question if any one can help me out? Is it wrong of me to sill be chatting to other guys on the dating site? I've agreed to another date, but haven't set one and I'm still getting to know him. What's the done thing here?

 

Thanks

 

Please dont turn off your radar after one date.....when you're ready to make the decision that you're exclusive to someone then i'd turn it off....otherwise, you might be killing a future date with "the one".....

[just_some_guy]

I have a question if any one can help me out? Is it wrong of me to sill be chatting to other guys on the dating site? I've agreed to another date, but haven't set one and I'm still getting to know him. What's the done thing here?

 

Thanks

 

This is called, "dating".

 

Shutting it down with everyone else is called, "seeing someone" or "involved with someone".

[hopesndreams]

I have a question if any one can help me out? Is it wrong of me to sill be chatting to other guys on the dating site? I've agreed to another date, but haven't set one and I'm still getting to know him. What's the done thing here?

 

Thanks

 

If another date is in the cards, why bother chatting to other guys? Whenever I went on a date from a dating site and we agreed to see each other again, I would do a nosy to see if he was still on the dating site, as in online, profile is still there, that's fine...and if he was online, I'd pretend to be someone else, get him involved in a convo and find out what he is really like. Low down and dirty? Well, I think the guy that dated me but is still looking for something better, as if that's even possible, should never have agreed to seeing me again. So there, lol.

 

Anyways, am no longer on a dating site. Would prefer to meet someone the old fashioned way.

[2.50 a gallon]

Willow

 

You are beautiful.

[willowthewisp]

This is called, "dating".

 

Shutting it down with everyone else is called, "seeing someone" or "involved with someone".

 

Yes, but here in the UK, certainly when I was younger (which was when I last dated) you only dated one person at a time.

 

However, online dating is something very different, it's not the same as meeting someone, getting to know them, perhaps in the work place or at school etc, then going out with them. With online, I am still getting to know him, we only had two cups of coffee, so yes this is how I feel about it, dating and I certainly wouldn't object to him going on other dates with other women either right now.

 

If another date is in the cards, why bother chatting to other guys? Whenever I went on a date from a dating site and we agreed to see each other again, I would do a nosy to see if he was still on the dating site, as in online, profile is still there, that's fine...and if he was online, I'd pretend to be someone else, get him involved in a convo and find out what he is really like. Low down and dirty? Well, I think the guy that dated me but is still looking for something better, as if that's even possible, should never have agreed to seeing me again. So there, lol.

 

Anyways, am no longer on a dating site. Would prefer to meet someone the old fashioned way.

 

H&D, wow, really? You've only met once and you would expect him not to be chatting to or going on any other dates? How can you even know if you like him romantically after one meeting?

[jsb58]

If you are having suicidal thoughts two years out, you need more intensive therapy than what you are currently receiving.

 

A side note, it appears to me that you dodged a bullet, though you obviously can't see it. Consider what might have happened if you did marry him while he was feeling that way. He might have and probably did cheat on you. Conflict avoiders, which is clearly what he was for just up and leaving, are not good marriage material.

 

I am new here but I am sorry for what you are going through and that you haven't received the help you need. Please reach out to those that can help you get past this.

[hopesndreams]

Yes, but here in the UK, certainly when I was younger (which was when I last dated) you only dated one person at a time.

 

However, online dating is something very different, it's not the same as meeting someone, getting to know them, perhaps in the work place or at school etc, then going out with them. With online, I am still getting to know him, we only had two cups of coffee, so yes this is how I feel about it, dating and I certainly wouldn't object to him going on other dates with other women either right now.

 

 

 

H&D, wow, really? You've only met once and you would expect him not to be chatting to or going on any other dates? How can you even know if you like him romantically after one meeting?

 

Liking someone romantically is easy, for me. It's after I get to spend time with them, I can then figure out whether those romantic feelings will continue or die. I don't like to drag things out and I certainly would not bother with anyone "playing the field". I am in the minority with this way of thinking though.

[dk.bnz.chi]

willow,merry Christmas 2 u and ur loved ones(that includes me now 2).don't b afraid of nothing

[just_some_guy]

Yes, but here in the UK, certainly when I was younger (which was when I last dated) you only dated one person at a time.

 

However, online dating is something very different, it's not the same as meeting someone, getting to know them, perhaps in the work place or at school etc, then going out with them. With online, I am still getting to know him, we only had two cups of coffee, so yes this is how I feel about it, dating and I certainly wouldn't object to him going on other dates with other women either right now.

 

I know what you mean, it was the same in the US when I was younger - dating was at least expected to be a one-on-one thing.

 

But longer ago than that, dating was NOT an exclusive thing. People dated, they didn't sleep with each other as readily as they do today, they dated.

 

When I was a young adult, there was a rule of "no sex before the third date" and that was often not kept. Honestly, what a mess this creates. Much better to go on dates with however many you can keep comfortable with, whether that's one, two or a half dozen with no bedroom scenes. Find one that does toot your horn, then close it down with the others. If that involves more physical intimacy that's apropos at that stage.

 

Honestly, even though it probably meant getting laid more often, the sexual revolution was just a bad idea for dating and developing lasting relationships.

[willowthewisp]

Willow

 

You are beautiful.

 

Gallon ?????

 

I know what you mean, it was the same in the US when I was younger - dating was at least expected to be a one-on-one thing.

 

But longer ago than that, dating was NOT an exclusive thing. People dated, they didn't sleep with each other as readily as they do today, they dated.

 

When I was a young adult, there was a rule of "no sex before the third date" and that was often not kept. Honestly, what a mess this creates. Much better to go on dates with however many you can keep comfortable with, whether that's one, two or a half dozen with no bedroom scenes. Find one that does toot your horn, then close it down with the others. If that involves more physical intimacy that's apropos at that stage.

 

Honestly, even though it probably meant getting laid more often, the sexual revolution was just a bad idea for dating and developing lasting relationships.

 

Well, like I've said before anyone expecting sex after the third date with me will be sorely disppointed! How can people do that anyway? You hardly know the person. The date I went on last week was good I think but I was very nervous and I think he was too, he was shaking at the start, how can people possibly contemplate getting jiggy with it so early on?

[love4me2c]

Have you tried online dating? That quickly gets me out of a funk. I know it isn't for everyone but so many people are out there feeling lonely like you. Connect with them!

[willowthewisp]

I need dating advice and quick! The guy I went out with last week, we met on a dating site, been texting everyday and hes just asked if he can have a relationship with me? HELP. Haven't dated in 20 years and he's 10 years younger than me, I'm lost. Probably sounds riduculous, but it's been such a long time, me and my X got together in high school, I'm so lost, I don't know how i feel about this guy yet, we've only had one date.

[What_Next]

Wwwaaaaayyyyy too fast! Tell him to cool his jets! Just continue getting to know each other and don't label it. Talk to him about his desire for a relationship at this early juncture.

 

He is over anxious!

[willowthewisp]

Wwwaaaaayyyyy too fast! Tell him to cool his jets! Just continue getting to know each other and don't label it. Talk to him about his desire for a relationship at this early juncture.

 

He is over anxious!

 

 

Absolutely, way too fast. Why do you think that is? On the rebound?

 

I told him that I didn't know how I felt about him yet, that I like him but as we have only been on one date, I'm not sure if that is romantically or plantonic and I'm just enjoying getting to know him. I also took the opprotunity to raise my concerns about the age gap between us and told him I didn't know if I can get past it or not.

 

He got really apologetic and just kept saying how sorry he was for coming on so strong. I told him there was nothing to apologise for, he was just being honest, which is always good.

 

He's texting as normal today.

 

What do I do from here? Should I be asking why he was so anxious or just leave it be and have another date like we planned?

 

Thanks.

[fltc]

What do I do from here? Should I be asking why he was so anxious or just leave it be and have another date like we planned?

 

Have another date, see how it goes.

[What_Next]

If it were me I might go for another date, but something light and not overtly romantic or intimate. Mini-golfing, theme park, roller blading, skating, something like that. Heck even go shopping or something.

 

Just communicate that you want to get to know him with no commitment nor pressure.

 

Perhaps ask him if he has ever been in a serious relationship. He needs to know to take it VERY slow.

[willowthewisp]

If it were me I might go for another date, but something light and not overtly romantic or intimate. Mini-golfing, theme park, roller blading, skating, something like that. Heck even go shopping or something.

 

Just communicate that you want to get to know him with no commitment nor pressure.

 

Perhaps ask him if he has ever been in a serious relationship. He needs to know to take it VERY slow.

 

Well, I just asked him, his last (and longest relationship) was 3 years and it ended a year ago. So not a likely rebound. So why so anxious to get me into a commitment?

 

I have to say, other than the fastness, he is shaping up so far to be quite mature, espically in comparision to some on the men in their 30's who have asked me out. I've had two guys mess me around in the last 48 hours. The first asks me out for a drink, then when I accept, just ignores that part of my message, then ignored me altogether for over 24 hours. So I mailed him yesterday and said "guess you no longer want the date" he mailed back he did and why? So I told him I thought he wasn't bc he would seal the deal! He replied "in what way"! Is this guy really that dense? I think not, so I told him stright I think he's rude.

 

The second one asked me out 3 weeks ago and intially I declined bc I wanted to take it slower. I then asked him out a week later and he seemed disinterested said "yeah, sometime" so I thought that was it, he carries on mailing me. So asked again, he ignored it, but carries on mailing me. So tonight he asks why I haven't used his cell number? I told him truthfully I didn't think he was still interested in me, but I was confused as to why he mails. He tells me he's interested and wants a date, when am I free? I tell him and then he carries on mailing me about random chit chat, but ignores my acceptance of his offer to go on a date?

 

I don't understand this? For the guys on here, PLEASE, anyone know why he's doing this? Is he just playing games? If so, he's out of luck, bc I'm done, I'm worth more than being messed about.

[What_Next]

Willow I am not sure what site you are using, but I can tell you there are TONNES of married men out ther using them. Tonnes of them. Also a lot of weirdo's, nutjobs and various other lunatics... There's also some really great guys out there (I was after all, but I'm off the market now). If you notice strange behavior or your spidey sense tingles, MOVE ON.

 

That guy is being alouf if you ask me, not worth the grief.

 

Your new interest seems fun, go with it. For heavens sake don't read too much into it. Just keep it light and see where it leads.

 

God giving dating advice... How strange.

[willowthewisp]

Willow I am not sure what site you are using, but I can tell you there are TONNES of married men out ther using them. Tonnes of them. Also a lot of weirdo's, nutjobs and various other lunatics... There's also some really great guys out there (I was after all, but I'm off the market now). If you notice strange behavior or your spidey sense tingles, MOVE ON.

 

That guy is being alouf if you ask me, not worth the grief.

 

Your new interest seems fun, go with it. For heavens sake don't read too much into it. Just keep it light and see where it leads.

 

God giving dating advice... How strange.

 

I think maybe he's too immature? I just had a convo with him via text, he wanted to know why I asked how long ago his last relationship was, so I told him. I also told him that I need to go slowly and briefly why (ie long relationship, ex jilted me) and asked if he was ok with me needing to go slow?

 

His reply was yes, but you need to understand I won't be strung along!

 

We have met once, for two hours in a coffee house. Is it me or is that unreasonable? I'm dating for the first time since highschool and he thinks its acceptable to ask me for a relationship after one date and a few evenings texting and when I tell him I need to go slower he tells me its fine but he doesn't want to be strung along. WTF???????

[What_Next]

Walk away. He has issues. Sorry, but trust your gut.