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he has yet to confirm our date TODAY

northern_sky

By northern_sky,
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westrock

westrock

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The modality of communication aside, he did apologize and offer to take to you to dinner.

 

If you're not interested, then a simple "No thanks, I deserve better treatment." is appropriate in the circumstance.

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johan

johan

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Showing him you're pissed or have any emotion at all about it seems to be inappropriate. You do that when you have a relationship with someone. If you want to be dismissive, show him you're great with it. "Like I said, I made other plans, which I'm looking forward to. I was kind of hoping our plans would fall through."

 

Own your emotions. Don't think venting them on him will do you any good. He's off the map at this point, so you'll get no satisfaction from it. No response is probably the best response.

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carhill

carhill

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It's deliberately allowing him to respond with another lame response. ;)

Yep, agreed, and I'm putting that 'nicht, nein, not' into practice *today*. 'Take care' is patronizing to someone for whom I have no real care. It's dishonest. Timely thread :)

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Star Gazer

Star Gazer

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I would NOT respond with what TBF wrote. This guy is too dense and self absorbed to understand what you really mean. He'd think, "Cool! She still likes me, I can probably f**k her again some other time."

 

The best response (2 options): (1) "No thanks. I've got better things to do."; (2) SILENCE.

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northern_sky

northern_sky

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"No, no, it's completely okay. I totally understand. See you next year when we both have more time. :)"

 

I'm not sure I understand the last sentence?

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Star Gazer

Star Gazer

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If you want to be dismissive, show him you're great with it. "Like I said, I made other plans, which I'm looking forward to. I was kind of hoping our plans would fall through."

 

Ooooh! I like this!!!

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threebyfate

threebyfate

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I don't think he'll get it though! :laugh: I think he'll think, "Oh, cool... I still have an in!"
Yes but by his own admission, he's purportedly a bright spark. If so, he should get the message loud and clear. Carhill got it easily.

 

Now if he isn't as quick as he purports to be, he'll ass-ume that he's still got an in which should confirm clearly to northern_sky that he's not as bright as he purports to be so her next response to his response will be very, very negating. :)

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westrock

westrock

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It's game playing when you give replies such "I was kind of hoping our plans would fall through" (really? I thought from your OP that you initially wanted to go out with him) or "See you next year when we both have more time." (that's a message with hidden double meaning). All that just shows you're into game playing.

 

Simple clear communication is what's needed here. As a I posted above, a simple "No thanks, I deserve better treatment." is appropriate in the circumstance or "Apology accepted. Call me to make plans."

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threebyfate

threebyfate

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It's game playing when you give replies such "I was kind of hoping our plans would fall through" (really? I thought from your OP that you initially wanted to go out with him) or "See you next year when we both have more time." (that's a message with hidden double meaning). All that just shows you're into game playing.

 

Simple clear communication is what's needed here. As a I posted above, a simple "No thanks, I deserve better treatment." is appropriate in the circumstance or "Apology accepted. Call me to make plans."

Yes it is gameplaying. She might as well have some fun with this guy. Have you read some of the background from the other thread? This guy is beyond arrogant.
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northern_sky

northern_sky

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Yes it is gameplaying. She might as well have some fun with this guy. Have you read some of the background from the other thread? This guy is beyond arrogant.

 

I sent the response you suggested, TBF. :):bunny:

 

Yeah, I'm trying to have a bit of fun.

 

His response reminds me of what he said to me when I confronted him about the fact that he was moving (which he didn't tell me). "Oh, I'm so sorry. I really don't have an excuse."

 

:laugh:

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threebyfate

threebyfate

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I sent the response you suggested, TBF. :):bunny:

 

Yeah, I'm trying to have a bit of fun.

 

His response reminds me of what he said to me when I confronted him about the fact that he was moving (which he didn't tell me). "Oh, I'm so sorry. I really don't have an excuse."

 

:laugh:

He'll respond as such:

  • He gets it and doesn't respond. Win.
  • He doesn't get it and asks what you mean which leaves him open to being taken down a peg or two. Win.
  • He thinks this leaves the door open and responds accordingly which leaves him open to being taken down a peg or two. Win.
  • He responds in a scathing fashion where you then have two options of responding or not. Win.

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xpaperxcutx

xpaperxcutx

Posted
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He'll respond as such:

  • He gets it and doesn't respond. Win.
  • He doesn't get it and asks what you mean which leaves him open to being taken down a peg or two. Win.
  • He thinks this leaves the door open and responds accordingly which leaves him open to being taken down a peg or two. Win.
  • He responds in a scathing fashion where you then have two options of responding or not. Win.

 

Still, I think if Sky sends him a reply, she'll just be up in knots again waiting for a response. Confirmation? Hope? I rather go with silence.

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northern_sky

northern_sky

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He'll respond as such:

  • He gets it and doesn't respond. Win.
  • He doesn't get it and asks what you mean which leaves him open to being taken down a peg or two. Win.
  • He thinks this leaves the door open and responds accordingly which leaves him open to being taken down a peg or two. Win.
  • He responds in a scathing fashion where you then have two options of responding or not. Win.

 

His response (apparently he didn't "get" it):

 

Haha, sad but true. I hope it's not until next year though...

 

What should I say back. :p This is fun.

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xpaperxcutx

xpaperxcutx

Posted
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His response (apparently he didn't "get" it):

 

Haha, sad but true. I hope it's not until next year though...

 

What should I say back. :p This is fun.

 

What would be more fun would be partaking in that alternative plan of yours and then reply him 10 hours later.:)

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Star Gazer

Star Gazer

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His response (apparently he didn't "get" it):

 

Haha, sad but true. I hope it's not until next year though...

 

I didn't think it would!

 

I'd respond with just: "Take care, J____."

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threebyfate

threebyfate

Posted
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His response (apparently he didn't "get" it):

 

Haha, sad but true. I hope it's not until next year though...

 

What should I say back. :p This is fun.

I'd say he got it but is dissembling.

 

"Sorry, I was wrong. The year 2020 would work better for me. Take care and good luck. :)"

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Mme. Chaucer

Mme. Chaucer

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If you really think so little of this guy, why spend such a great amount of time and energy thinking about him, discussing every nuance of what he says with numerous people, playing mind games on him, etc. I don't understand that. I realize that there is a lot of false bravado at play here and you are really obsessed with him, but why not move on already.

 

Also, not in defense of this man, but how would you like it if you were on the receiving end of such passive aggressive game playing? When I read on your other thread the exchange between you and one of your friends mocking his email or texting style (don't remember), I cringed, thinking of how you would react if you learned that he was doing something like that with his friend regarding YOUR personal communication with him. Your world would be shattered.

 

Why not hold yourself to the same standards that you expect from other people?

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northern_sky

northern_sky

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If you really think so little of this guy, why spend such a great amount of time and energy thinking about him, discussing every nuance of what he says with numerous people, playing mind games on him, etc. I don't understand that. I realize that there is a lot of false bravado at play here and you are really obsessed with him, but why not move on already.

 

Also, not in defense of this man, but how would you like it if you were on the receiving end of such passive aggressive game playing? When I read on your other thread the exchange between you and one of your friends mocking his email or texting style (don't remember), I cringed, thinking of how you would react if you learned that he was doing something like that with his friend regarding YOUR personal communication with him. Your world would be shattered.

 

Why not hold yourself to the same standards that you expect from other people?

 

Eh, lighten up. :)

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tigressA

tigressA

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I agree with Mme. Chaucer. I used to like to play little games like this, but in the end they didn't make me feel any more empowered. I do think that if you were on the receiving end of your actions over the last day or so, you wouldn't be feeling so great. Why not just try straight-up NC? Sure it may feel good now to play these games; I can still see the appeal in them, but that's just more time you're wasting focusing on him instead of getting past him.

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northern_sky

northern_sky

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I agree with Mme. Chaucer. I used to like to play little games like this, but in the end they didn't make me feel any more empowered. I do think that if you were on the receiving end of your actions over the last day or so, you wouldn't be feeling so great. Why not just try straight-up NC? Sure it may feel good now to play these games; I can still see the appeal in them, but that's just more time you're wasting focusing on him instead of getting past him.

 

Maybe it doesn't make YOU feel empowered, but it helps me detach. We all have our ways of coping. :) I resent this attitude that there's only one right way of coping. If it helps me move on, then I'm going to do it. I actually feel better already.

Edited by northern_sky
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