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he has yet to confirm our date TODAY

northern_sky

By northern_sky,
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threebyfate

threebyfate

Posted
Posted
Ignore his email:

  • xpaper
  • Stargazer
  • harmfulsweetz
  • threebyfate
  • LexiB

Be honest and open:

 

 

 

 

 

Continue going out with him:

  • Ariadne

Anyone else interested in providing their advice to Sky? :)

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harmfulsweetz

harmfulsweetz

Posted
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Oh, bull. You're a Type A personality who likes to control and you found a star in Shadow because she treats everything you say like it comes from your lips to God's ears. You started off as seeming to give advice, albeit bad advice, but this stupid list making is screaming For my own amusement. Everyone has expressed their opinion, and for the most part it conflicted with yours, yet she jumped when you told her how high.

 

The fact that you told her not to double delete that guy's email shows your it in for the gaming, and not for Shadow's best.

 

You really need a new hobby and quit toying with peoples' lives and decision making.

 

I totally agree, sadly. I think that what is going on here, and has been for some pages, is a cosigning of a negative behavioural pattern, and now it's just turned into a silly game. :( I think Sky knows she should ignore his email, or in fact, do as she pleases with it. I have my opinion, as does everyone else. Sky don't need a list to decide.

 

Elswyth, count me on that list too.

 

TBF, the main reason Sky listens to you, is because you are telling her what she wants to hear, not what she really needs to. I do often like your advice, but cosigning her behavour is wrong, and perpetuating a negative pattern which Sky must stop if she wants to have a happy, successful relationship. I know you want to tailor your advice to suit Sky, and that's all well-intentioned, and good, but it seems as if you're not actually saying what really needs to be said. JMHO.

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threebyfate

threebyfate

Posted
Posted
Ignore his email:

  • xpaper
  • Stargazer
  • harmfulsweetz
  • threebyfate
  • LexiB

Be honest and open:

 

 

 

Continue going out with him:

  • Ariadne

Once again, anyone else want to provide input to Sky? :)

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Kamille

Kamille

Posted
Posted

Is this another social experiment?

 

N_S should ask herself what it is that she wants and, more importantly, what it is that is best for her. She should then act accordingly.

 

The "confused-let's-meet-later" message doesn't surprise me. He believes she is still playing. That's all I will say.

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threebyfate

threebyfate

Posted
Posted

Ignore his email:

  • xpaper
  • Stargazer
  • harmfulsweetz
  • threebyfate
  • LexiB

Be honest and open:

 

 

 

Continue going out with him:

  • Ariadne

Sky should figure out what she wants and act accordingly

  • Kamille

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threebyfate

threebyfate

Posted
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Is this another social experiment?

 

N_S should ask herself what it is that she wants and, more importantly, what it is that is best for her. She should then act accordingly.

 

The "confused-let's-meet-later" message doesn't surprise me. He believes she is still playing. That's all I will say.

Wasn't intended as one to begin with but right now, I have to admit that it's seriously cracking me up if viewed as a social experiment. :laugh:
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Kamille

Kamille

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Sky should figure out what she wants and act accordingly

  • Kamille

 

You forgot the most important part:

 

Sky should figure out what is best for her - which, in her case, is often different from what she wants.

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harmfulsweetz

harmfulsweetz

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Wasn't intended as one to begin with but right now, I have to admit that it's seriously cracking me up if viewed as a social experiment. :laugh:

 

I'm sorry to say this, but what good is it all doing Sky? Sky will make up her own mind regardless, and she was on the track I believe she wanted to be on, this list is just going to put doubt in her mind, and maybe encourage her to stay and waste more time on this guy. :mad:

 

You should be encouraging her to move on, but this is frankly the opposite. This isn't doesn't seem to be a caring posting from one poster to another, but more like a game, with which you ochestrate, because you know full well Sky mainly listens to you.

 

Why would you encourage a continuation of negative behaviour? It seems to me like you're just trying to have some fun here, and continue the game you coaxed her to play. That's not fair on Sky or him, IMO.

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threebyfate

threebyfate

Posted
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You forgot the most important part:

 

Sky should figure out what is best for her - which, in her case, is often different from what she wants.

Amended below. :)

 

 

 

Ignore his email:

  • xpaper
  • Stargazer
  • harmfulsweetz
  • threebyfate
  • LexiB

Be honest and open:

 

 

 

 

 

Continue going out with him:

  • Ariadne

Sky should figure out what's best for her and act accordingly

  • Kamille

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Star Gazer

Star Gazer

Posted
Posted

Ignore this thread (or at least the last couple pages):

  • Northern_Sky

 

:laugh: Just kidding!

 

But really, this is silly. She can read and tally all opinions, regardless of what they are, on her own. :)

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BobSacamento

BobSacamento

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That is exactly what it is. Everyone sees it. Even TBF knows it... the only one who will probably disagree is Shadow... because it's TBF who started the list. ;)

 

You know how in cartoons there are times when the character is visited by the Angel and the Devil. I'm getting that picture right now with TBF playing the part as one of those entities. Feel free to draw your own conclusions.

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xpaperxcutx

xpaperxcutx

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I think this is the time when Tony should make his appearance.

 

This thread has flamed out and I don't want to be a participant any longer.

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harmfulsweetz

harmfulsweetz

Posted
Posted (edited)
That is exactly what it is. Everyone sees it. Even TBF knows it... the only one who will probably disagree is Shadow... because it's TBF who started the list. ;)

 

The sad thing about it all is, that Shadow/Sky has received some stellar advice from the majority of posters in this thread, but often that advice has fallen on deaf ears in favour of a more favourable, easier to handle approach. I don't mean that mean, just that I wish Shadow would sometimes not just discard some great advice because it's not what she wants to hear at that time. It may help in the future. :)

 

I just wonder if treating her like a little girl, and treading carefully, is really helping her at all.I also don't think it is giving her the credit for being able to handle such advice etc, I think she can if she tries to take it with the meaning it is meant.

Edited by harmfulsweetz
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threebyfate

threebyfate

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Okay Sky, looks like members are determined to flame away and while hilarious to watch for me, doesn't serve its purpose to you. I'm stopping here but if you want me to continue the list, I have no problems doing so.

 

It appears that other members want you to listen to them. Not going to tell you who to listen to since it's your life and your choice. :)

 

 

Ignore his email:

  • xpaper
  • Stargazer
  • harmfulsweetz
  • threebyfate
  • LexiB

Continue going out with him:

  • Ariadne

Sky should figure out what's best for her and act accordingly

  • Kamille

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harmfulsweetz

harmfulsweetz

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Okay Sky, looks like members are determined to flame away and while hilarious to watch for me, doesn't serve its purpose to you. I'm stopping here but if you want me to continue the list, I have no problems doing so.

 

It appears that other members want you to listen to them. Not going to tell you who to listen to since it's your life and your choice. :)

 

 

 

Ignore his email:

  • xpaper
  • Stargazer
  • harmfulsweetz
  • threebyfate
  • LexiB

Continue going out with him:

  • Ariadne

Sky should figure out what's best for her and act accordingly

  • Kamille

 

I merely want her to consider other options, to not just listen to the side she wants to listen to. It is her life, but none of us want her to keep making the same mistakes. Sorry, I know I'm derailing things, but certain things need to be said. That list wasn't one of them. And you knows it. ;)

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Star Gazer

Star Gazer

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It appears that other members want you to listen to them.

 

I don't think that's a fair characterization. I think what's being advocated here is a well-rounded cross-section of advice for her to digest on her own, grown woman that she is, rather than a spoon-fed summary.

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harmfulsweetz

harmfulsweetz

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I don't think that's a fair characterization. I think what's being advocated here is a well-rounded cross-section of advice for her to digest on her own, grown woman that she is, rather than a spoon-fed summary.

 

That is it exactly. :) Sky doesn't need a list, she can read and tott it all up herself, while actually getting the benefit of what the poster's are saying to her. :)

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welikeincrowds

welikeincrowds

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I am noticing a trend toward transgression on this forum lately. Transgression, or irritability. At least, that's the trend I'm identifying that I myself am also participating in.

 

Wasn't it only recently that we had signed a peace and concession thread?

 

I think the spirit of letting things go needs to be put in place here, not just for shadow, but lately, for many issues on this board. Again, I am saying this as much for myself as I am for any other.

 

That would technically put me in the "ignore his email" camp, but I would prefer to not be added to the list, TBF. :)

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Star Gazer

Star Gazer

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Wasn't it only recently that we had signed a peace and concession thread?

 

NOPE! That was ONLY an agreement to (1) refrain from gender wars, and (2) forgive and forget and let go of past grudges and bad feelings. That doesn't mean we have to agree with each other from here on out. :)

 

I can't speak for everyone, but I am really glad that thread came to be because it enabled many, myself and TBF as an example, to be able to engage each other once again in respectful disagreement.

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northern_sky

northern_sky

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I'm going to ignore his email.

 

I think TBF's point is that it's beating a dead horse to nitpick how I ended things after the fact. What's important is that I ended things.

 

And I honestly see no problem with how I ended it. Nor has anyone given me a convincing argument for why it was wrong. It helped me detach, where I would have felt vulnerable had I put my feelings out there again. Had I sent him no response, knowing myself I would have felt like it was unsettled and I could always re-engage. My only regret is that I didn't ended it way sooner.

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Star Gazer

Star Gazer

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I think TBF's point is that it's beating a dead horse to nitpick how I ended things after the fact.

 

Yes, beating a dead horse is never a good idea. Too bad it happened here. :)

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