How to cope knowing your ex is with someone else?

[9Lives]

It has been awhile since the break up but I find myself thinking about him and wondering about his relationship with his now girlfriend. It seems they are still together and it is eating me up inside. She is friend with all his friends and family and I am so jealous. I just need to know what to do to get pass this. It is really bothering me. We arent together and we probably wont be getting back but I dont want him to be with her either. I feel awful about it. I cant do anything about it. It just the way it is.

[9Lives]

I guess I have to encourage myself!!

 

THIS TOO ....shall pass.

 

the way you hurt me

the way you left me

the way you got another and gave her the love

the way you confused me

the way you made me cry alot

the way you almost ruined my holiday

the way I still think about you

the way you dont deserve my thoughts.

the way you let her meet your family and friends

the way you broke my heart in so many ways and pieces

the way it hurts so bad still!!!!

 

it all shall pass one day....

[valpre]

The only thing you can do is to stop thinking about him/her/them. Just try to change the topic whenever those thoughts pop into your head, cause you know thinking about them doesn't make you feel good.

 

Sometimes the only things we can control are the things that we decide to think about or focus on. Envision what your happy future is going to look like, when that new man of your dreams walks into your life

 

My ex-ex left me for someone else, and I recently found out that they got married, and I'm happy to say that it didn't bother me in the slightest!

[9Lives]

The only thing you can do is to stop thinking about him/her/them. Just try to change the topic whenever those thoughts pop into your head, cause you know thinking about them doesn't make you feel good.

 

Sometimes the only things we can control are the things that we decide to think about or focus on. Envision what your happy future is going to look like, when that new man of your dreams walks into your life

 

My ex-ex left me for someone else, and I recently found out that they got married, and I'm happy to say that it didn't bother me in the slightest!

 

wow..right now that makes me sick to my stomach. I still love my ex. He might marry her too.

[valpre]

Sorry, didn't want to make you feel worse... For now, just don't think about it!

[SimonSerenade]

It's a devastating feeling knowing your ex has found somebody else cause all you can imagine is what there doing and how they compare to you, Well stop that now cause that won't do you any good, Chances are he's finally found himself a rebound relationship and they never last, Most likely he'll be thinking of you a lot more than you'd think, People often get in to rebounds so that they may cope a tad better and not miss the other person so much as there new partner would be doing sort of full-filling there needs in a slight way.

 

I think my ex might of found somebody else as she's been giving me the cold harsh shoulder ever since we broke up and judging by how well she's coped, It would make a lot of sense for her to have been with somebody else, We were together for 3 years, Had a child together and I was the one to take her virginity, Would of been lovely to have always been her only love and the only one who ever made love to her, Thinking about her doing that with somebody else now just kills me inside, I feel I'm probably just being paranoid, I've seen some guy walking near her house when I've dropped off my son after the weekend, Look's like her type but who know's if it's how it seems, Either way it's none of my business just like his new girlfriend is none of yours.

 

It just don't bare thinking about, Best thing you can do is remember the good time's and attempt being supportive of his new relationship, May not be genuine but it's the best thing you can do, I always wanted my ex girlfriend to be happy and if she's happy then I'll be happy for her regardless of there being somebody else or not, Just remember, These relationships never last and you'll never really be replaced in his heart by this girl as she won't have the depth of history and emotion that the two of you shared let alone the comfort zone he had with you were he could probably tell you everything and pretty much do everything around you, They always come back, At least they always have for me but it's usually always later than sooner, If your over him by then, Well at you'll get peace of mind knowing you was in his heart the whole time.

[VJW]

9lives,

 

I am going through the same thing and I find it very hard to NOT think about him with this new girl. It makes me sick to my stomache and makes me feel like our relationship was not as important to him as it was to me.

 

I am struggling with the best way to handle this but if you ever want to vent or purge your anger or hurt I will be happy to join you.

[Margot]

9lives,

 

I know it's not easy. I'm going through the same thing. My boyfriend of 6 years left me 5 months ago and the day after he broke up with me he was hanging with this co-worker of his who he always stated that they were only friends. Well I'm in NC but I made the mistake and see her social network profile and just saw some comments and pictures that made realize that they are together. I can't stop imagining them together, in what used to be our apartment, our bed, our stuff. I can't deal with the fact that she is 8 years younger than us, that she know nothing about anything and now she's acting and doing stuff that I did. Is like she is trying to be like me because she knows that my ex loved me a lot and she was always jealous of our relationship. Sometimes I think that it's him trying to make her like me. Well I just don't understand. The point is that it gets on my nerves and my dreams the fact that they are now doing all the stuff that my ex and I used to do together. And what really hurts me is that he still writes to me about stuff we used to talked about (politics, movies, books, tv, sports, ect) is like he can't talk to her about it and tries to do that with me. I don't respond to anything because if he left me he ain't going to have intellectual and emotional neither.

[carhill]

How to cope knowing your ex is with someone else?

Seeing lovely smiling (couples) pictures with our former marital friends helped loads

[9Lives]

Seeing lovely smiling (couples) pictures with our former marital friends helped loads

 

What are you talking about? Sorry I dont understand

[9Lives]

9lives,

 

I know it's not easy. I'm going through the same thing. My boyfriend of 6 years left me 5 months ago and the day after he broke up with me he was hanging with this co-worker of his who he always stated that they were only friends. Well I'm in NC but I made the mistake and see her social network profile and just saw some comments and pictures that made realize that they are together. I can't stop imagining them together, in what used to be our apartment, our bed, our stuff. I can't deal with the fact that she is 8 years younger than us, that she know nothing about anything and now she's acting and doing stuff that I did. Is like she is trying to be like me because she knows that my ex loved me a lot and she was always jealous of our relationship. Sometimes I think that it's him trying to make her like me. Well I just don't understand. The point is that it gets on my nerves and my dreams the fact that they are now doing all the stuff that my ex and I used to do together. And what really hurts me is that he still writes to me about stuff we used to talked about (politics, movies, books, tv, sports, ect) is like he can't talk to her about it and tries to do that with me. I don't respond to anything because if he left me he ain't going to have intellectual and emotional neither.

 

Well one of his good friends called me today and said it wasnt alll that. he said they together but he still doing other stuff which makes me feel alot better..lol. I know that i wrong but I dont want to know who he is with and if i do, i want to go bad. I dont want the woman behind me to get the man I care about. sorry

 

So now I feel like, well there are alot of things I really didnt like that I dont have to deal with anymore and im glad!!! he is a alpha male and so it was kinda rough even tho I loved him

[9Lives]

9lives,

 

I am going through the same thing and I find it very hard to NOT think about him with this new girl. It makes me sick to my stomache and makes me feel like our relationship was not as important to him as it was to me.

 

I am struggling with the best way to handle this but if you ever want to vent or purge your anger or hurt I will be happy to join you.

 

I know exactly that feeling but I feel like this is the final step to full recovery.

[9Lives]

9lives,

 

I know it's not easy. I'm going through the same thing. My boyfriend of 6 years left me 5 months ago and the day after he broke up with me he was hanging with this co-worker of his who he always stated that they were only friends. Well I'm in NC but I made the mistake and see her social network profile and just saw some comments and pictures that made realize that they are together. I can't stop imagining them together, in what used to be our apartment, our bed, our stuff. I can't deal with the fact that she is 8 years younger than us, that she know nothing about anything and now she's acting and doing stuff that I did. Is like she is trying to be like me because she knows that my ex loved me a lot and she was always jealous of our relationship. Sometimes I think that it's him trying to make her like me. Well I just don't understand. The point is that it gets on my nerves and my dreams the fact that they are now doing all the stuff that my ex and I used to do together. And what really hurts me is that he still writes to me about stuff we used to talked about (politics, movies, books, tv, sports, ect) is like he can't talk to her about it and tries to do that with me. I don't respond to anything because if he left me he ain't going to have intellectual and emotional neither.

 

yeah that social networking thing is dangerous for the dumpee. that is what I did and started feeling bad. I really need to stop doing that. Im going to make a real big effort.

[carhill]

What are you talking about? Sorry I dont understand

Seeing my exW in pictures with her new boyfriends and with our former marital friends, some of which are still friends of mine, helped a bunch in accepting *moving on*. She didn't miss a beat. Pragmatic as ever.

[xpaperxcutx]

I worried about my own happiness and made sure I lived happier without him.

 

My ex married his next girlfriend less than half a year into their relationship. I have no use for people who act recklessly.

[9Lives]

He is just dumb!

[b_rouse]

I'm in the same boat.

 

My ex has liked me since 2007, but never had the courage to ask me out until 2009 (because he thought I was "out of his league"). We lasted a year, then a couple days after the break up, I caved, called him begging for him to come back and he says he doesn't have feelings for me anymore. Then 2 weeks after the break up he's in a relationship with a girl at work he's only known for a month.

 

Oh and it does kill me, everyday, yet it makes me stronger everyday. I want to block him on facebook (and I have a couple times), but at the same time, I want to see how he is. How he's doing with her, if she's anything like me, if she is better/worse than me. And it stinks because I've gathered all this info on her based off facebook, it's not healthy, believe me I know it. But I just don't want to stop because I want to see if my hypothesis is correct when she's just a rebound (and we know they don't last longer than a couple months).

[9Lives]

I'm in the same boat.

 

My ex has liked me since 2007, but never had the courage to ask me out until 2009 (because he thought I was "out of his league"). We lasted a year, then a couple days after the break up, I caved, called him begging for him to come back and he says he doesn't have feelings for me anymore. Then 2 weeks after the break up he's in a relationship with a girl at work he's only known for a month.

 

Oh and it does kill me, everyday, yet it makes me stronger everyday. I want to block him on facebook (and I have a couple times), but at the same time, I want to see how he is. How he's doing with her, if she's anything like me, if she is better/worse than me. And it stinks because I've gathered all this info on her based off facebook, it's not healthy, believe me I know it. But I just don't want to stop because I want to see if my hypothesis is correct when she's just a rebound (and we know they don't last longer than a couple months).

 

yeah my problem is facebook to and it looks like Im going to have to give it up for good. I dont find myself checkin and it really depresses me and hurts me really. Its not doing me any good. I just need to get rid of it.

[melenkurion]

I'm not coping very well with that. I uncovered my ex's affair with our friend, and my ex ran away. He's now in a relationship with that guy. I suppose it's bothering me a little less each day, but it still feels like it is stabbing me in the heart if I think of it. One day I will run into them, and that day I am dreading.

[9Lives]

I'm not coping very well with that. I uncovered my ex's affair with our friend, and my ex ran away. He's now in a relationship with that guy. I suppose it's bothering me a little less each day, but it still feels like it is stabbing me in the heart if I think of it. One day I will run into them, and that day I am dreading.

 

Thank you for writing. I actually researched and got some guidance to help deal with it. here is the advice

 

1. Dont feel bad about feeling about this - this is probably about as bad as it gets for anyone harboring feelings for their former partner

 

2.Do the hardest thing..accept that it is over. truly over

3.Keep your distance between you and the couple as much as possible.

4.RESIST THE TEMPTATION - to find out more about her and the relationship

very important

5.DONT REACT EMOTIONALLY - no matter how much it hurts or feeling down...dont do it!!! It is the worst thing you can do. Dont feed that ego and dont give them nothing at all to work with.

6.Worry about yourself..not them

 

Realize

this to0 shall pass...live thru it

this too shall pass...live thru it

this too shall pass...live thru it

 

He/she is just dumb!

[circa66]

its been a month and a half since my breakup and i felt compelled to go on facebook and snoop. well, my ex gf and the new guy went off on a vacation with their kids to see her parents and family and friends.2 months ago we were in niagara falls for a convention. 3 months ago i was the only man she ever wanted to meet her dad. she must have been giving him the same line while she was cheating on me. It is surreal how a human can tret another in this way. My days of snooping are over. My period of denial is over. man i hate her

[Sonolumino]

My days of snooping are over. My period of denial is over. man i hate her

 

I agree. Sometimes you have to hate them to move on. I snooped a few days ago, definitely a mistake. Stay strong and don't do it, get on with your life.

[Fufu]

My ex said there's no third party, but I shall see.

 

if he has a new gf... the thougts on my head will be.

 

- Good luck to the new girl or Good luck to you

 

- What a great actor you are

[Rosberg]

i feel (at the moment) like my x's plan was to make me her rebound/ keep her busy while hitting on another guy who she's had a crush on the whole time...****ing **** sucks guys...

 

even if we're not friends anymore we share mutual friends and one of them is that guy...and i see her all up in "liking" his statuses...even if they're as empty as "i'm home" or **** like that.