"You met me at a very strange time in my life"

[poopierabbit]

Hi,

 

I've never posted a thread in this forum, but I suppose I should. My girlfriend and I broke up at the beginning of October after a month of "space."

 

I've moved to the West Coast, and the kids I have are grown and in college (or graduated with a career). At 40, this leaves me at a very odd juncture.

 

I have no responsibilities except a mortgage on a house I no longer live in. Period.

 

I don't want to move on from the previous relationship, because I suspect she may be back after finally figuring out she doesn't want to be a step-mom as much as I don't want to be a step-dad. Perhaps I'm oversimplifying and being overly optimistic.

 

Did we have issues? Absolutely. But after some time, it has become apparent to me what those issues are. I cannot accept an overly generic description of "incompatibility" to describe 'the issue'. It was much more complicated than that.

 

The big question is, if you had all the freedom in the world to do whatever you wanted to do, what would it be? How would you stay grounded in the meantime? What would you do to maintain some amount of contact without being snippy, sarcastic, mealy, or angry?

 

I do feel comforted by texting her on occasion and at least goading her with "oh gee, ready to start over again with a new set of kids?" Maybe she is, or maybe she isn't, but I'm hoping she isn't.

 

She does respond somewhat to text, although, I will admit it is sporadic at best.

[Sonolumino]

I think you need time finding out what you actually want to do before making any decisions. If you want her back, then make the conscious choice to get her back. Wavering in the slightest will only come across as weak. By the way, the thread title reminded me of this scene:

 

 

"you met me at a very strange time in my life"