Author miso horny Posted November 30, 2010 Author Share Posted November 30, 2010 Apparently not, you see, with being there with his Ex, it's like you rubbed it in his face, like saying: "I've got your wife, and now I've got your children, what are you gonna do about it"! This man absolutely HATES YOUR GUTS! He probably wants you to DIE! Put yourself in his shoes, and you will see that he's completely justified in his actions and feelings! He doesn't want you to be loved by his children, he doesn't want you to take them away from him too! He sees you as a cold hearted Mu*********** Bastard who stole his family! understand that. believe it or not, I AM IN HIS SHOES!!!! My exwife has been married to the guy that "stole" her away from me. They have been married for like 15 years now. They have 2 children together in addition to MY daughter, and HIS daughter from another marriage. However, that is NOT the way I see it. In fact, I wouldnt change a thing, now... But I was there and I made different decisions on how I handled things.. Link to post Share on other sites
jthorne Posted November 30, 2010 Share Posted November 30, 2010 What exactly is it that you want? You wanted people to tell you that what the BH did was wrong. So now what? Link to post Share on other sites
bentnotbroken Posted November 30, 2010 Share Posted November 30, 2010 I pray those children get counseling, even if it is only for a little while. Link to post Share on other sites
spice4life Posted November 30, 2010 Share Posted November 30, 2010 (edited) Miso, just wanted to say that I'm glad things worked out, as good as they can anyway, in this situation. Mom has some work ahead of her though and that's true with any divorce, regardless of this situation or not. You sound very level headed about everything and I wish you the best of luck. Edited November 30, 2010 by spice4life Link to post Share on other sites
jthorne Posted November 30, 2010 Share Posted November 30, 2010 I pray those children get counseling, even if it is only for a little while. Indeed. They seem to be the one's caught in the middle here. Link to post Share on other sites
Author miso horny Posted November 30, 2010 Author Share Posted November 30, 2010 What exactly is it that you want? You wanted people to tell you that what the BH did was wrong. So now what? I don't know what I want. I want the children to have happy hearts. So right now, I stay away. I urge counselling. I keep working on ME Link to post Share on other sites
bentnotbroken Posted November 30, 2010 Share Posted November 30, 2010 I don't know what I want. I want the children to have happy hearts. So right now, I stay away. I urge counselling. I keep working on ME PLEASE keep working on you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author miso horny Posted November 30, 2010 Author Share Posted November 30, 2010 PLEASE keep working on you. Yes maam.... Link to post Share on other sites
Author miso horny Posted December 1, 2010 Author Share Posted December 1, 2010 I do want to add this (and I know it will piss some people off) It was really, REALLY nice to hear that they liked me... I have "loved" them for a very long time, and no matter what any of you say, I did and do love them... I have gotten to know each one of them, through their mother and now through them over the last couple of months and my love for them was good.... So, for them to maybe recoginze that in some small way, was nice.. Link to post Share on other sites
Distant78 Posted December 1, 2010 Share Posted December 1, 2010 Wow.......... Link to post Share on other sites
2themoon&back Posted December 1, 2010 Share Posted December 1, 2010 I do want to add this (and I know it will piss some people off) It was really, REALLY nice to hear that they liked me... I have "loved" them for a very long time, and no matter what any of you say, I did and do love them... I have gotten to know each one of them, through their mother and now through them over the last couple of months and my love for them was good.... So, for them to maybe recoginze that in some small way, was nice.. that was plain to see from your first post.................... Link to post Share on other sites
greengoddess Posted December 1, 2010 Share Posted December 1, 2010 So you never answered. Did he tell the kids their mother was a who*e or was that your words? Has she been lying to him still about you even though they are divorced? Link to post Share on other sites
Author miso horny Posted December 1, 2010 Author Share Posted December 1, 2010 So you never answered. Did he tell the kids their mother was a who*e or was that your words? Has she been lying to him still about you even though they are divorced? it's what I was told, I don't know..... I don't know is she was "lying", just not saying that I was a part of her life again, however minimal it was, because it was... But, she is divorced, so she had the "right" to have me there if she wanted... I don't believe he had the "right" to do what he did.. Link to post Share on other sites
lkjh Posted December 1, 2010 Share Posted December 1, 2010 You are high is you honestly believe that these kids are ok with you and happy with their mother Link to post Share on other sites
Author miso horny Posted December 1, 2010 Author Share Posted December 1, 2010 You are high is you honestly believe that these kids are ok with you and happy with their mother huh? I is high? I don't know what these kids are right now. It could have chamged 100 times since yesterday. What I DO know is that they love their mother, and they should. Should they be "happy" with her, no. Do they love her? YES! Are they "ok" with me? I wouldnt think so. I wouldnt expect so. But at that specific moment, they "trusted" their mother and believed her when she said I was a "good man with a huge heart that cared about them very much". what else ya got? Link to post Share on other sites
greengoddess Posted December 1, 2010 Share Posted December 1, 2010 it's what I was told, I don't know..... I don't know is she was "lying", just not saying that I was a part of her life again, however minimal it was, because it was... But, she is divorced, so she had the "right" to have me there if she wanted... I don't believe he had the "right" to do what he did.. and you believe that's how it went down? She's a liar or did yoou forget that about her? Even divorced, she tells her ex you are out of her life. As for the kids you are probably now a hidden secret from them. She probably told them she will not see you anymore. Did you really forget and forgive all the lies? I'm really disappointed in you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author miso horny Posted December 1, 2010 Author Share Posted December 1, 2010 (edited) and you believe that's how it went down? She's a liar or did yoou forget that about her? Even divorced, she tells her ex you are out of her life. As for the kids you are probably now a hidden secret from them. She probably told them she will not see you anymore. Did you really forget and forgive all the lies? I'm really disappointed in you. NO, I havent forgotten, and I will NEVER forget. I may never even be able to forgive... BUT, I am in this place of at least "seeing" what may remain. That's all. And now this. THIS could have been prevented, IF she would have done the "right" thing, but once again, she didnt. I am just now wrapping my head around this part. I forgot how stupid this place can be with instant judgement and the lack of "helping" a person figure things out AS they are happening. I am disappointed in you too. This could have been prevented if she would have clued exH in on the fact that I was barely back into her life, but that I was... She waited for this to happen. And the more I think about it, the more disappointed I am in her and less I am in him... What he did was wrong. What she didnt do was wronger (kidding with that word) what she didnt do, again, was the "right" thing Edited December 1, 2010 by miso horny Link to post Share on other sites
Enema Posted December 1, 2010 Share Posted December 1, 2010 I think what he did was right. Obviously your blinders are on and for all the facade about caring for the kids, you're just thinking about #1. These kids need to be brought up with the right influences and ideas about relationships and emotions. Their father has done what he can to ensure they don't inadvertently learn life lessons from either you or mom. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted December 1, 2010 Share Posted December 1, 2010 Don't take this the wrong way, but it was a mistake, her mistake to allow you to meet and be around the kids. That should have taken place way more into the future and you say you're barely in her life, just starting out. So, why involve and be around the kids so soon? Even as a "friend" or a helping hand around the house. Remember, SHE needs to learn be independant and do things on her own without a "man" bailing her out. She needs to be on her own for a while too.. More than you realize. And it's obvious you still have trust issues with her, yet still love her. DON'T push or rush things. And don't let her manipulate you into rushing it either. Again, she needs to learn to do things on her own, BE on her own when the kids are with their father. It'll help grow her up and face afew things I think she still needs to face.. Link to post Share on other sites
4321sn Posted December 1, 2010 Share Posted December 1, 2010 He is an a$$... The BS, not you. I am sorry but regardless of what the two of you did the kids should have been protected. In my opinion he is a shi*y selfish person to burden his children with that knowledge. Yes he's hurting s d thinks u stole his family away but that is not something kids of that age need to know, ESP at their age. Link to post Share on other sites
4321sn Posted December 1, 2010 Share Posted December 1, 2010 I do Believe that you care for these kids. I'm sure it didn't start our that way but honestly...you are at the house hanging freaking garland not sneaking around having sex all day with their mother. Garland...helping around the house. Doing things to make life easier for her and the kids. Perhaps the affair shouldn't have happened...well too late. What's done it done and yiu ar trying to do the right thing and help her out. Most men would have run fir the hills. Good for u for sticking by her. I am sure there are plenty of available women without kids. Who would sign up for a relationship where the partner has 4 kids in or about to enter the teenaged years? Link to post Share on other sites
U2RockZz Posted December 1, 2010 Share Posted December 1, 2010 he neither owes a s*** to you nor to her...god knows,what is that you are complaining....he might have used civilized words...but there is no other way to describe a uncivilized act. Link to post Share on other sites
woinlove Posted December 1, 2010 Share Posted December 1, 2010 he neither owes a s*** to you nor to her...god knows,what is that you are complaining....he might have used civilized words...but there is no other way to describe a uncivilized act. But, as a father, he has a responsibility to his children. However, now that I have looked at a few past threads and know that this awful language came from the mother, I would not put much weight on them. It appears she was a master liar and manipulator and I'd be more likely to trust her xH to behave well than her. After reading some of the past threads about how she treated her husband and handled the divorce and children, I really hope these children are in therapy. Link to post Share on other sites
greengoddess Posted December 1, 2010 Share Posted December 1, 2010 NO, I havent forgotten, and I will NEVER forget. I may never even be able to forgive... BUT, I am in this place of at least "seeing" what may remain. That's all. And now this. THIS could have been prevented, IF she would have done the "right" thing, but once again, she didnt. I am just now wrapping my head around this part. I forgot how stupid this place can be with instant judgement and the lack of "helping" a person figure things out AS they are happening. I am disappointed in you too. This could have been prevented if she would have clued exH in on the fact that I was barely back into her life, but that I was... She waited for this to happen. And the more I think about it, the more disappointed I am in her and less I am in him... What he did was wrong. What she didnt do was wronger (kidding with that word) what she didnt do, again, was the "right" thing I am being supportive. I am trying to make you see it from an angle that you can not see because you have been in love with this woman and trust her to a degree. I have no connection to her and can see the situation more objectively. It may be something you do not want to hear but it is how I see it. Support is not cheerleading. It is helping you see for yourself what you are missing. Which I think I may have done since you do see this could have been prevented but she did not step up again even though she is divorced from him. Link to post Share on other sites
lkjh Posted December 1, 2010 Share Posted December 1, 2010 huh? I is high? I don't know what these kids are right now. It could have chamged 100 times since yesterday. What I DO know is that they love their mother, and they should. Should they be "happy" with her, no. Do they love her? YES! Are they "ok" with me? I wouldnt think so. I wouldnt expect so. But at that specific moment, they "trusted" their mother and believed her when she said I was a "good man with a huge heart that cared about them very much". what else ya got? She is either lying or she just heard what she wanted from them. I don't they think you are a good man. Link to post Share on other sites
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