Cancer/Radiation/ Dealing with other around you and Doing what you want

[lilvoyce7321]

I am now 32 I developed thyroid cancer two years ago. In dealing with my insurance companies, doctors, etc., I have really been given the short end of the stick. I was to have a simple surgery to remove the thyroid and the tumor and then six weeks later go in for I-131 radiation therapy. Instead after the insurance prolonged my surgery and then a year later given the radiation, the doctors had to give me an extremely high dosage of radiation. This left me with rhumatory like arthritis symptoms and unable to use my legs. I can barely walk and it has been a year since the raidiation.

 

It was in November of this year that they had found three tumors in my breast. I had surgery to remove the tumors last week. My tumors were sent off to be studied. I will recieve my results in two weeks. I may have to have radiaiton again in spite of the results.

 

I totally hate radiation therapy. I feel that it has taken one year of quality living off of my life. I feel at times that I am worthless. All I am able to do is sit at my computer for a few hours a day. I am on every pain pill imaginable from Morphine, dilaudid, lowertab...etc. etc. The doctors are clueless as to help me with the adverse effects of the radiation. I am in so much pain that I have to sleep for a major portion of the day. I have been to all sorts of doctors for the pain and nothing is working. I don't ever want to have radiation I 131 therapy again! I think that if I were subjected to any more of this stuff I would just completely fall apart!

 

My question is: I know that my hubby and kids will want me to take the radiation again. Should I take it just to please them? Should I tell them that I never want to take the radiation again? Would they forgive me if I did not take it? Am I selfish for not wanting it? Do I have the right not to take it? Like I say I am only 32 and my children are very young..

 

-lilvoyce

[brashgal]

Wow - I'm so sorry to hear about your illness - it sounds like you've been through a lot. I haven't faced serious illness like that myself but I have struggled with depression over my lifetime, most seriously in the last 5 years. I have one young son and I am grateful for him. When I have been at my lowest point, I'm not sure I would have carried on strictly for myself but I did get treatment as I wanted to be around to raise him to adulthood.

 

It's a very personal decision. You have to weigh all the factors. Ask yourself what your chances would be if you did not go for further radiation treatments. I think it would benefit you to get some counselling if you haven't already done so. Talking over the issue with an objective, trained counsellor would help give you some perspective.

 

I'm beaming positive thoughts your way! Take care of yourself.