I want her back!

[DeanM]

Heres my story....

 

On saturday me and my girlfriend of 18 months had a big fallout and she moved out and back to her parents, since then she has been unsure if she wants to continue the relationship. We fell out because i found out she kissed someone else on new years eve and not told me, this is forgiveable but it was a shock to me and i reacted badly to it at the time. I have completly forgiven her for the kiss and for not tellin me about it but it seems now, she is unsure if she wants to continue the relationship and i dont know what to do. We have spoke on the phone a few times since that night and she keeps tellin me she dosent want to hurt me but she isnt sure if she wants to carry on being together. Towards the end it was a little hard for her as we was savin up for a place of our own and was livin at my mums house. We stopped in most nights as I didnt want to spend any money that we didnt need to. I can see now how she must of felt trapped spending every night in my mums place and not goin out. She also says she is unsure if she has feelings for this guy she kissed on new years eve, he was one of my friends and im finding this very difficult to deal with as i know if them 2 ever got together it would crush me. We have the same group of friends and I know that theres no way i will be able to avoid her.

 

All i want is one more chance to put things right between us and start again, even if she stays livin at her parents and we start the entire relationship over again. I feel like i took her for granted towards the end and regret that so much, i hate myself for being so hard, i just wish i could go back and do a few things differently like take her out more often instead of leaving her couped up in our room watchin tv every night.

 

I was only planning for the future but instead, all i have done is ruin everything.

 

 

What can i do?

[curiousgeorge]

There is nothing that you can do. And while you tend to blame yourself. The problem is that she kissed someone else. Which indicates that she is not that much into you.

 

You need to let go and bite the bullet. Easier said than done. But from my perspective you don't have a chance.

 

And by the way, I don't think all of this had anything to do with you living at your mom's. If a couple is committed towards the same goals (for instance your goal of living together and getting your own place) then she would not have felt all cramped up being there but she would have bit the bullet for the greater good. She obviously did not share your dream.

 

So move on

[MeToo]

[color=red]Ease up, curiousgeorge[/color]! You make it sounds like “non-shalom”. Apparently you missed what DeanM posted, “I want her back”.

 

DeanM, just give her some room to think. At least you have [color=blue]an open dialog [/color]going and that is the thread that’s holding the last bit of your relationship. Send her an apology card with a few words (nothing lengthy) and stay away from begging for her to come back. You need to “fortify” that thread so you can operate. Do it.