Author WTRanger Posted December 2, 2010 Author Share Posted December 2, 2010 I kind of like keeping track of the days at this point. It's visual progress and when I feel like reaching out, I don't want to break the progress streak. Link to post Share on other sites
silic0ntoad Posted December 2, 2010 Share Posted December 2, 2010 I kind of like keeping track of the days at this point. It's visual progress and when I feel like reaching out, I don't want to break the progress streak. It'll start to drive you nuts. Link to post Share on other sites
pandagirl Posted December 2, 2010 Share Posted December 2, 2010 Well I can pretty much agree that if anyone who thought I was important didn't contact me for 3 months, I would certainly assume that they don't care. That goes for exes, friends, and family. So I know what ya mean. This is a total blanket statement. 3 months after a breakup isn't a very long time. Everyone needs space to heal. Keeping in touch with an ex only prolongs residual feelings. Link to post Share on other sites
AlisaMarie Posted December 2, 2010 Share Posted December 2, 2010 This is a total blanket statement. 3 months after a breakup isn't a very long time. Everyone needs space to heal. Keeping in touch with an ex only prolongs residual feelings. Note: I said that is how "I" would feel. Relax. Everyone's different. Link to post Share on other sites
Leandro Posted December 2, 2010 Share Posted December 2, 2010 This is a total blanket statement. 3 months after a breakup isn't a very long time. Everyone needs space to heal. Keeping in touch with an ex only prolongs residual feelings. So every dumper needs time to heal? Link to post Share on other sites
pandagirl Posted December 2, 2010 Share Posted December 2, 2010 (edited) So every dumper needs time to heal? Yes, I think so. Each breakup is unique, but I know when I've broken up with someone, or my friends have, they need space. It's not like all the feelings are totally vanished and gone (although, I guess sometimes they are). I remember my friend broke up with her boyfriend and he was contacting her and she told him, "Please don't contact me, I need time to heal, too." I know my ex still had feelings for me when he broke up for me, because he told me he did and said it was really painful and sad for him (we were a LDR). Also, some dumper's may stay away from contacting their ex out of respect, to let them heal and move on, which in a twisted way, is a way of showing that they DO care for you. They're not sending you lame little texts about nothing and disrespecting you. I think it's only after a LONG time of NC, that you can perhaps reach out. A lot of my friends are successfully friendly with their ex's, but they all said it took TWO YEARS of NC to really get to that point. Edited December 2, 2010 by pandagirl Link to post Share on other sites
AlisaMarie Posted December 2, 2010 Share Posted December 2, 2010 Yes, I think so. Each breakup is unique, but I know when I've broken up with someone, or my friends have, they need space. It's not like all the feelings are totally vanished and gone (although, I guess sometimes they are). I remember my friend broke up with her boyfriend and he was contacting her and she told him, "Please don't contact me, I need time to heal, too." I know my ex still had feelings for me when he broke up for me, because he told me he did and said it was really painful and sad for him (we were a LDR). Also, some dumper's may stay away from contacting their ex out of respect, to let them heal and move on, which in a twisted way, is a way of showing that they DO care for you. They're not sending you lame little texts about nothing and disrespecting you. I think it's only after a LONG time of NC, that you can perhaps reach out. A lot of my friends are successfully friendly with their ex's, but they all said it took TWO YEARS of NC to really get to that point. Exactly! I am actually good friends with an ex from a little over a year ago. That can only happen when all romantic feelings are gone. I never thought of it as a way that your ex is respecting you by not contacting you. That is a very good, and comforting point. Link to post Share on other sites
Leandro Posted December 2, 2010 Share Posted December 2, 2010 I never thought of it as a way that your ex is respecting you by not contacting you. That is a very good, and comforting point. That is a good point. Link to post Share on other sites
Fermentum Posted December 2, 2010 Share Posted December 2, 2010 I hit Day 28 tomorrow, so Day 90 sounds like a worthy goal. The more time passes, the more I realize that it couldn't have ended any other way. She won't change, and I will. Time to move on. Link to post Share on other sites
alwayshoping Posted December 5, 2010 Share Posted December 5, 2010 ive hit 90 days NC hmmm thought i would feel better than this tbh! I still miss her but also kind of resent her for not contacting me at all for 90 days! after all we used to text and talk hundreds of times a day and then suddenly nothing for 90 days! I guess she really didnt love me the way i wanted her too and its time to find someone who would miss not talking to me for a single day let alone 90 days lol Link to post Share on other sites
Author WTRanger Posted December 5, 2010 Author Share Posted December 5, 2010 You really can't spend all 90 days wondering when they'll contact you. You'll be let down if you do. Forget about her. What did you learn in those 90 days? Link to post Share on other sites
alwayshoping Posted December 5, 2010 Share Posted December 5, 2010 well I have learnt that all my friends hated her! (actually suprised me tbh) I have learnt that I should really trust my instincts more. I have learnt that my life can be better without her and tbh im quite glad me and her are apart. But Ive also missed her like crazy and wanted to call her for the first 2 months! now im not too bothered but i am quite suprised she hasnt missed me enough to even check how im doing! then again she is a busy person and im sure the guy she left me for has filled my void. I guess im just having a bad day today! Most days I dont think of her half as much as i used too. But doing my an essay all weekend has kinda made me miss her a lot! She did try add me on msn but I had to decline it, it just weak on her part to contact me after all this time via msn. She has my number and if she genuinely made an effort we could have been friends. But I guess the boat sailed on that one! Oh most important lesson I learnt, your friends all stick by you and tell you your GF is amazing at the time your with her, then when she's gone you find out the truth. Also you really find out who your real friends are at times like this! Ive needed so much support not to call her over the past 90 days and really I must have about 5 real friends, my 2 best friends deserted me and im so glad I have gotten to see everyone in their true light! Oh well time for another 90 days NC! here goes! Good luck everyone! Link to post Share on other sites
Username37 Posted December 6, 2010 Share Posted December 6, 2010 I hit 90 a long time ago And I'm still going Thanks guys Link to post Share on other sites
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