Author OceanGirl Posted December 18, 2010 Author Share Posted December 18, 2010 I knew it would be a mistake to post this. Everybody was advising me to lighten up. I HAVE lightened up now. I am having fun. Not everything has to lead to marriage. I enjoy making out with this guy and I am pretty sure I will enjoy the sex too. I don't see what's wrong with that. I dated a "nice guy" for a month and I have never been more bored in my life. Link to post Share on other sites
Author OceanGirl Posted December 18, 2010 Author Share Posted December 18, 2010 This guy told me that was initially hesitant to meet me because he was afraid that I will be too boring because of what I do. I also gave him a bit of a snobby vibe online. But after he met me he thinks that I am hilarious Link to post Share on other sites
Cracker Jack Posted December 18, 2010 Share Posted December 18, 2010 I dated a "nice guy" for a month and I have never been more bored in my life. Interesting. Question: what is this guy, then? Link to post Share on other sites
Str8noChaser Posted December 18, 2010 Share Posted December 18, 2010 I knew it would be a mistake to post this. And yet you keep posting. Everybody was advising me to lighten up. I HAVE lightened up now. I am having fun. Not everything has to lead to marriage. So unless it's marriage FWB druggies and heavy petting on the first date with a stranger is what you see as a viable option. Interesting. I enjoy making out with this guy and I am pretty sure I will enjoy the sex too. I don't see what's wrong with that. Don't you post questions asking if it's okay to call and is it okay to have sex and is it okay to xyz? You can't get annoyed when you put your entire dating life on a forum up for analysis and then actually get analyzed. I dated a "nice guy" for a month and I have never been more bored in my life. So then keep dating the guys that excite you. It's your life. Why are you seeking 100% approval from a forum of strangers? If you have a group from here that high five your choices, why don't you just set up a private group and fill them in? Your male friend was correct. You are hilarious. Link to post Share on other sites
Author OceanGirl Posted December 18, 2010 Author Share Posted December 18, 2010 He responded to my message... He looked at his work diary and is traveling on Tuesday but he still wants to see me so he will text me when he is on his way back to work out the exact time. He asked me if I am still sure I want him to come over to my place as he is happy to take me out.. I responded that he can come to my place but I can't promise anything in how far we will go Link to post Share on other sites
Author OceanGirl Posted December 18, 2010 Author Share Posted December 18, 2010 His message sounds a bit cold though... he didn't say I can't wait to see you or anything. He just signed off with see you soon! :S Link to post Share on other sites
Author OceanGirl Posted December 18, 2010 Author Share Posted December 18, 2010 And yet you keep posting. So unless it's marriage FWB druggies and heavy petting on the first date with a stranger is what you see as a viable option. Interesting. Don't you post questions asking if it's okay to call and is it okay to have sex and is it okay to xyz? You can't get annoyed when you put your entire dating life on a forum up for analysis and then actually get analyzed. So then keep dating the guys that excite you. It's your life. Why are you seeking 100% approval from a forum of strangers? If you have a group from here that high five your choices, why don't you just set up a private group and fill them in? Your male friend was correct. You are hilarious. You are right. I don't care what anyone else thinks. I take hilarious as a compliment. At least I am passionate, animated and ALIVE. Link to post Share on other sites
Str8noChaser Posted December 18, 2010 Share Posted December 18, 2010 You are right. I don't care what anyone else thinks. I take hilarious as a compliment. At least I am passionate, animated and ALIVE. Eh, I'm alive too Keep having fun and posting your stories. Do. You. Link to post Share on other sites
Surrealist Posted December 18, 2010 Share Posted December 18, 2010 He's probably got quite a lot of options and is getting a lot of tail to hit. At least he's finding time out of his busy schedule to pursue you, even if it is solely for some good hard romping. I'd be weary about STDs though given his drug history and possible promiscuous lifestyle. He sounds like the type of guy that doesn't have much trouble getting himself lots of ass. Link to post Share on other sites
Str8noChaser Posted December 18, 2010 Share Posted December 18, 2010 I'd be weary about STDs though given his drug history and possible promiscuous lifestyle. He sounds like the type of guy that doesn't have much trouble getting himself lots of ass. Nahh being weary is for people that are dead. Don't you know STDS are part of being ALIVE and having passion! Hey it can bring a whole new level of drama into things when you are talking tests and medications and having to divulge suspect sexual history to every future partner. Lol. Link to post Share on other sites
Author OceanGirl Posted December 18, 2010 Author Share Posted December 18, 2010 I am getting condoms of course He has a very suspect lifestyle so I have to be careful. As for other tail, I have a date with someone tomorrow too. We are not exclusive, I am not that crazy about him so who cares. Link to post Share on other sites
Author OceanGirl Posted December 18, 2010 Author Share Posted December 18, 2010 Also, it makes me wonder how often he actually does drugs. I started pressuring him into bringing some weed for Tuesday and he is not sure if he can get any by then. He was very apologetic. Link to post Share on other sites
Author OceanGirl Posted December 18, 2010 Author Share Posted December 18, 2010 Interesting. Question: what is this guy, then? He is typical bad boy. No good for LTR but fun for short term. He excites me. Link to post Share on other sites
Author OceanGirl Posted December 18, 2010 Author Share Posted December 18, 2010 I have done dating "by the book" so far. Nothing but kissing within the first month of dating. No coming to each other's places. No sex. Now I want to live a little. I basically jumped on this guy after an hour of meeting because I CBF with the conversation as he is not too smart. Then I invited him to my place for 2nd date. He is just going along with it. At least I can tell that he is VERY attracted to me Link to post Share on other sites
Cracker Jack Posted December 18, 2010 Share Posted December 18, 2010 He is typical bad boy. No good for LTR but fun for short term. He excites me. Thanks for answering. Well, if he excites you, then that's good enough. Hope you have fun. Link to post Share on other sites
Sarah1977 Posted December 18, 2010 Share Posted December 18, 2010 This thread is full of WIN! Link to post Share on other sites
Author OceanGirl Posted December 18, 2010 Author Share Posted December 18, 2010 He seems to be looking at my OKC profile every 30 minutes. That's kind of weird - he has seen it multiple times before and I haven't changed anything. Link to post Share on other sites
ascendotum Posted December 18, 2010 Share Posted December 18, 2010 I dated a "nice guy" for a month and I have never been more bored in my life. OP - and were has dating 'non' nice guys got you? Ah, to be 6'3 with a rugby player build. The aura of confidence, feeling a connection, sensing chemistry, comes so easily for women then. They feel more feminine/girly because the guy can pick them up. These guys never have somedude's issues when it comes to meeting women. I know a couple of divorced guys not too dissimilar to this guy in description, (one of them does speed and is up front about it), and online dating is such a great 'invention' for them. So many women like the OP out there who are bang up for action on the 1st date or are happy to be FWB while they continue to search for something long term. (presumably similar sort of guy but without the negative traits). This is why you get varying descriptions of online dating experiences from guys. One of guys beefs is that women have this approach to OLD..."Oh wow, that other OKC guy that contacted me this morning is even hotter." The date went well, but the guy was just okay...no butterflies, but hopefully there will be someone better in the 70 emails I get next week. To be fair many decent looking guys on OLD think the same, and so have a STR mindset. The 'hot' guys I know who do OLD have a player mentality. They get the lion’s share of responses from women and exploit the opportunities. I know this comes off as a bit of a snarky post. There are plenty of women out there who are doing FBs with hot guys while biding time for a decent guy to come into their life. You are hardly the only one and at least you are upfront on it…but don’t you live in Perth (city of 1.5m). I don’t get why you say..'It is incredibly hard to meet hot, single guys in my age group.' You don’t think you are shooting above your league?..I just ask this because you have been single for 5 yrs. If someone lives to 90, they are a longtime not sexy compared to their sexy years. I really believe you should make the most of those years while you are single, but speaking as an avg guy, its sucks that ONS, FBs, FWBS and flings, are not more equally distributed. Have fun but be safe. Link to post Share on other sites
Author OceanGirl Posted December 18, 2010 Author Share Posted December 18, 2010 I wouldn't say that I am shooting above my league. I find it extremely hard to connect to someone on a deeper level needed for LTR. Last guy that ended up going back to his ex was barely average looking. I have lowered my standards when it comes to looks but I simply can't have a LTR without a strong connection. I think that my personality is just way too quirky and non-mainstream. Thus, many just don't seem to get me. If I was more "normal" I may have an easier time finding someone that I connect with. I am looking for a guy that's essentially nice but also edgy, aggressive (non-passive) and fun and of course doesn't smoke and do drugs (basically like myself). I have been meeting either bland, passive nice guys that don't excite me or full on bad boys that are just too wild for me. A specific mix of both is very hard to find. Link to post Share on other sites
Str8noChaser Posted December 18, 2010 Share Posted December 18, 2010 How old are you again? Early 30's? If so, I give you till about 37 to 38 before those boring/bland nice guys begin to look wayyyyyy more appealing. The harsh reality is by that age, heck even your early 30's, you have already peaked in your physical looks, face & body wise. So you can take advantage of what you currently have to offer a man (who are 100% visual creatures) and use your remaining childbearing years on the bad boys. When your clock starts running out and nature takes her course on your physical appearance (and sure you can stave it off really long with surgery) but now you are competing with the 20 year olds and women in their early 30s, the nice guys in your age group will have their attentions focused elsewhere. So will the hot guys for that matter. Good luck to you OG. Link to post Share on other sites
Surrealist Posted December 18, 2010 Share Posted December 18, 2010 (edited) How old are you again? Early 30's? If so, I give you till about 37 to 38 before those boring/bland nice guys begin to look wayyyyyy more appealing. The harsh reality is by that age, heck even your early 30's, you have already peaked in your physical looks, face & body wise. So you can take advantage of what you currently have to offer a man (who are 100% visual creatures) and use your remaining childbearing years on the bad boys. When your clock starts running out and nature takes her course on your physical appearance (and sure you can stave it off really long with surgery) but now you are competing with the 20 year olds and women in their early 30s, the nice guys in your age group will have their attentions focused elsewhere. So will the hot guys for that matter. Good luck to you OG. The problem is when a woman is in her early 30s and NEVER been married, they will find it difficult to ever get married. It's the same with guys too, but guys don't tend to worry about that kind of stuff as much as they are not child bearers who need to be concerned about getting pregnant and having offspring. It is true though that once women get to an older age (I've been saying this for quite a while) they do suddenly like the nice 'boring' guy all of a sudden as they see their options dry up like the Murray river drought. It's sad for these women because I run into them a lot (at work and moreso since living in Canberrra), and they pursue me with a vengeance and I hate it. Edited December 18, 2010 by Surrealist Link to post Share on other sites
Author OceanGirl Posted December 18, 2010 Author Share Posted December 18, 2010 Well, I just turned 32 and I think I look good for my age. I take care of myself and don't even have a single wrinkle on my face. I am not sure if I even want kids (most likely not) so that is not a huge issue for me. I have kind of accepted that I will never get married. To tell you all the truth, I would rather have a happy relationship with someone who I truly connect to without marriage and kids, than marry someone I feel blah about. My goal is to find a romantic partner with true mutual feelings for each other. That can happen at any age. Even when I am 40, 40-something men can easily still go for me. Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted December 18, 2010 Share Posted December 18, 2010 Please This has nothing to do with intelligence. Plus, I can guarantee you that you can't exactly be stupid and get PhD in math. You can have very low emotional intelligence (EQ), be self-destructive and lack common sense and still be a math genius. Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted December 18, 2010 Share Posted December 18, 2010 I responded that he can come to my place but I can't promise anything in how far we will go OMG...WHY would you tell him that? Why didn't you just outright tell him "I am only interested in having sex with you"? Link to post Share on other sites
Author OceanGirl Posted December 18, 2010 Author Share Posted December 18, 2010 You can have very low emotional intelligence (EQ), be self-destructive and lack common sense and still be a math genius. I will agree with this. Link to post Share on other sites
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