oxy addict

[painfulxsistense]

hello all first post. i am a male. mid 30's. 4 yrs ago i was diagnosed with degenerative arthr. in lower back and placed on lortab . 2 yrs ago i was in an accident at work and doctor put me on oxy. i am now completely addicted to these damn things i get #30 40mg oxycontins ,#150 30 mg oxycodone and 90 xanax. iT DIDNT TAKE ME LONG TO FIGURE OUT HOW TO BREAK, CRUSH. AND SNORT THEM! when i am on them i have absolutely no emotions good bad indifferent i simply just dont give a damn. two of my oldest children have left home and arent speaking to me. i sleep on the sofa and have for the paST 3+ YRS. HAVENT HAD SEX OR EVEN TOUCHED MY WIFE IN ATLEAST 2 YRS. LAST MONTH i decided instead of waking up and immediately snorting 30 mgs. that i would wait . and the longer i waited the clearer my head became. i realised what my drug use has caused and am deeply hurt for my wife and children. i was once taking 200+ mg or 7_8 pills daily i am now down to 67.5 mg or 2 1/4 pills daily. i went through difficult withdrawals even from this taper. i am now very comfortable where i am. but lately i have had this overwhelming urge to i.v. one just to see what i may be missing. i havent but i have went as far as to go to a pet supply store and fondle a 2cc 22 gauge pack of needles. but immediately dropped them and left in a hurry. this obsession was never there before. could it just simply be that i really just want to increase my dosage? i no longer get high at all just feel normal with my current dosage.i have reasoned that maybe upping my dosage may prove more beneficial than staying where i am if it drives me to the "needle". i have already tried smoking and was disgusted .how people smoke their pills is beyond me . HORRIBLE TASTE AND SMELL! i never dreamed so much drama could be caused by a lil pill! (BY THE WAY I NO LONGER SNORT I JUST PLACE LIL 4TH'S UNDER TONGUE EVERY 3-4 HRS.)

HELPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Edited December 2, 2010 by painfulxsistense

[TaraMaiden]

Get your doctor to refer you to an addiction clinic and change your tabs.

 

Other than that, do not expect expert, medical counsel or official advice off complete strangers on a discussion forum.

 

That's just insane.

[scatterd]

They have addiction clinics and also doctors that prescribe suboxone which is non narcotic it relieves you from the pain of withdraw then they lower it gradually.Some doctors like to keep you on it for a couple of years because

it takes along time to get your normal endorphins back.I wish you luck on this its such a painful long progress.Try calling around for a suboxone doctor ask how long they keep you on it the longer the better the 3-6 week program is not long enough for as much as your on.I hope this helps

[painfulxsistense]

Get your doctor to refer you to an addiction clinic and change your tabs.

 

Other than that, do not expect expert, medical counsel or official advice off complete strangers on a discussion forum.

 

That's just insane.

lmao thnx i needed a good laugh do u really think i expected to get "expert medical advice'" FROM THIS Or ANY FORUM? HELL NO !I EXPECTED THAT MAYBE OTHERS HAVE GONE THROUGH SIMILIAR CIRCUMSTANCES AND COULD MAYBE GIVE A LIL ADVICE LIKE "HEY dUDE" been there MAYBE TRY TRAMADOL FOR WITHDRAWALS" or perhaps " i went through the same thing with my husband and you should know that i never stopped loving him or gave up on him "......... anything exept''hey dip**** do u really expect advice i mean this isnt like an open forum or anything'........dumb ass!

[painfulxsistense]

They have addiction clinics and also doctors that prescribe suboxone which is non narcotic it relieves you from the pain of withdraw then they lower it gradually.Some doctors like to keep you on it for a couple of years because

it takes along time to get your normal endorphins back.I wish you luck on this its such a painful long progress.Try calling around for a suboxone doctor ask how long they keep you on it the longer the better the 3-6 week program is not long enough for as much as your on.I hope this helps

THANX FOR THE ADVICE I WILL CHECK INTO IT. VERY KIND OF YOU I HOPE I POSTED IN THE RIGHT PLACE AND DIDNT BREAK ANY RULES? I just needed an "Ear" i guess, didnt really expect much but it was nice of you to offer some advice! i will go away now .maybe i belong in a "junky forum" just dont like those very much. most only encourage drug use/abuse.

[pinkie]

I have a script for oxy... for pain symptoms from a wreck years ago... and I still have to see a chiro from time to time... I have friends that have "drug use" problems.. I personally think, the drugs are just an excuse to escape. Just like alcohol or anything else. You probably aren't working, sitting at home all day with your pill bottles and you get bored. Or you have other pain. (i.e. emotional pain) Sometimes, life in general is just too much to bear, for all of us. When you have a temporary "way out" you use. Try to figure out what's really going on, if you can. You're obviously upset about your children, and you're sleeping on the couch. So either your use is the cause, or the cause is causing you (to use) to neglect other life situations. I never use my pills unless I absolutely need them for the physical pain. Otherwise, I will become immune to the effects and they won't work when I need them. Thereafter, everytime I go to the doctor for more and more, someone will figure out what's happened and my life could be in ruin... Please take care to use caution and think about what's really happening.

[Feelin Frisky]

They have addiction clinics and also doctors that prescribe suboxone which is non narcotic it relieves you from the pain of withdraw then they lower it gradually.Some doctors like to keep you on it for a couple of years because

it takes along time to get your normal endorphins back.I wish you luck on this its such a painful long progress.Try calling around for a suboxone doctor ask how long they keep you on it the longer the better the 3-6 week program is not long enough for as much as your on.I hope this helps

 

Suboxone is a new kind of "opioid" but no one should think it's not a serious narcotic with its own chemical dependecies, withdrawal and post withdrawal symptoms. It's just newer and better than its predecessor, methadone.

 

As most others have reccommneded, you (OP) need to see an addictionologist. I've had dependencies on both opiates and benzos just like you. It's not impossible to recover fom these--no matter how high your tolerance is. Finding the right help is not always easy though. There are a lot of people in that field who just don't have compassion and think everyone can be held to the same standards. Not so if you have real pain and real physical anxiety rather than are just using the drugs recreationally.

 

You have to be really committed to stopping first of all. But "stopping" is not enough--you also have to want to accomplish some things in your life too. The fact that you're feeling guilty about your life's trajectory and perhaps want to reconnect and earn back people's respect and trust is a good start. But you have to really make these priorities that you'll have to use when withdrawal symptoms call you back to relapse.

 

But trust me, you can overcome these things. You just can't expect it to happen too fast. So, see a psychiatrist that specializes in this and consider your options with him or her. Once you commit to a plan, ya gotta stay with it and not be your own doctor by sneaking in secret use. Best of luck and keep trying. You can do it.

[painfulxsistense]

 

You have to be really committed to stopping first of all. But "stopping" is not enough--you also have to want to accomplish some things in your life too. The fact that you're feeling guilty about your life's trajectory and perhaps want to reconnect and earn back people's respect and trust is a good start. But you have to really make these priorities that you'll have to use when withdrawal symptoms call you back to relapse.

 

But trust me, you can overcome these things. You just can't expect it to happen too fast. So, see a psychiatrist that specializes in this and consider your options with him or her. Once you commit to a plan, ya gotta stay with it and not be your own doctor by sneaking in secret use. Best of luck and keep trying. You can do it.

 

seems that suboxone is just like methadone and basically just trade one habit for another. i have a few aquantences on suboxone and they will use it as a "crutch" do their drug of choice, then when they cant get it they will use suboxone. i dont want that stuff heard it is harder to kick than heroine? Yes, it seems that the "mental addiction" is far worse than the physical one. i can tell you were once a "user" . you sure you arent a fly on my wall.? that is true i have alot of bad memories i am trying to cover up. i have a very addictive personality should have known better than to ever touch these things. what ever i do in life i do to the EXTREME! WORKING OUT? I used to do 300 situps/crunches every morning then ride my bike 6 miles to the gym , workout, ride to the track, walk 7 miles, ride bike home and work out more throughout the day. this was EVERYDAY! THEN I HURT MY SHOULDER DIVING FROM HIGHDIVE AT POOL AND JUST AS SUDDENLY STOPPED !

HUNTING? i go ape**** and spend $ on all the latest ,best gear. DRUGS? ....................

HERE IS ANOTHER DELIMA I HAVE AS FAR AS SEEKING "PROFFESIONAL" HELP. I AM A C.C.W. CARRIER. (CONCEAL CARRY PERMIT) IF I SEEK HELP FOR DRUG ADDICTION I WILL LOSE MY PRIVILEGES AND BE LABELED A DRUG ABUSER FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE. GOTTA DO THIS ON MY OWN. I HAVE THE WILL POWER TO FIGHT THE PHYSICAL ADDICTION ITS JUST THE MENTAL THATS A BITCH! I HAVE TREMENDOUS WILL POWER WHEN NEEDED. I ONCE LOST 65 LBS AND NEVER GAINED IT BACK BEEN 6-7 YRS. NOW. maybe if i just go and see a psychiatrist about some of my issues and learn to cope with things without chemicals i can conquer this demon! very good advice thankyou.

Edited December 4, 2010 by painfulxsistense

[Mme. Chaucer]

The mental part IS the real bitch.

 

Please find help. If you won't get professional help, at least try an anonymous group like a 12 step program. They are not for everyone but one did save my life.

 

There are always really good excuses to NOT do what is necessary to recover from addiction. I think the loss of your license to carry a concealed weapon is the least of your worries. Your LIFE is lost now.

 

Please face the profound hold that these drugs have on you and what's already been lost - and what further loss is at stake.

[Cee]

You've got a major problem and need the help of other people. I've dealt with addiction issues myself (alcohol) and all the narcotic addicts I've known either died or went to jail before they got clean. I can't think of a single narc addict who didn't face serious consequences before they really got well. Maybe, you are the exception and can get well on your own, but there are bottoms you haven't visited yet. And the path from oxy to heroin is a common one.

 

This is a complicated issue. If you can afford one, get a private therapist who specializes in addictions. That person can be your primary and help you come up with a recovery plan. Go to an NA meeting and start talking to people. And as far your employment issue, I'd make an anonymous phone call to your Employee Assistance Program (EAP).

 

Good luck. I know a lot of success stories where people went from near death to happy lives. But sadly, I also know some people who died. This addiction is "cunning, baffling, powerful." Use every tool in your arsenal to fight it including relying on the wisdom of others.

[Feelin Frisky]

seems that suboxone is just like methadone and basically just trade one habit for another. i have a few aquantences on suboxone and they will use it as a "crutch" do their drug of choice, then when they cant get it they will use suboxone. i dont want that stuff heard it is harder to kick than heroine? Yes, it seems that the "mental addiction" is far worse than the physical one. i can tell you were once a "user" . you sure you arent a fly on my wall.? that is true i have alot of bad memories i am trying to cover up. i have a very addictive personality should have known better than to ever touch these things. what ever i do in life i do to the EXTREME! WORKING OUT? I used to do 300 situps/crunches every morning then ride my bike 6 miles to the gym , workout, ride to the track, walk 7 miles, ride bike home and work out more throughout the day. this was EVERYDAY! THEN I HURT MY SHOULDER DIVING FROM HIGHDIVE AT POOL AND JUST AS SUDDENLY STOPPED !

HUNTING? i go ape**** and spend $ on all the latest ,best gear. DRUGS? ....................

HERE IS ANOTHER DELIMA I HAVE AS FAR AS SEEKING "PROFFESIONAL" HELP. I AM A C.C.W. CARRIER. (CONCEAL CARRY PERMIT) IF I SEEK HELP FOR DRUG ADDICTION I WILL LOSE MY PRIVILEGES AND BE LABELED A DRUG ABUSER FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE. GOTTA DO THIS ON MY OWN. I HAVE THE WILL POWER TO FIGHT THE PHYSICAL ADDICTION ITS JUST THE MENTAL THATS A BITCH! I HAVE TREMENDOUS WILL POWER WHEN NEEDED. I ONCE LOST 65 LBS AND NEVER GAINED IT BACK BEEN 6-7 YRS. NOW. maybe if i just go and see a psychiatrist about some of my issues and learn to cope with things without chemicals i can conquer this demon! very good advice thankyou.

 

There are privacy laws and you should be sure of what they are before you assume that someone can report you to your employer or the state and make you lose your CCW. You may be able to work around that and not have your worst fear realized. Don't give your real name when making inquiries if that worries you. But find out for sure.

 

What is escpecially good about suboxone is that they don't make you go to a clinic for every dose like they do with methadone (methadone clinics let addicts meet other addicts and learn how to game the system--using their own drugs of choice and either alos the ones they get from the clinic or selling them. You don't want any part of that life.) So, it is theoretical that you could see a private practitioner and not be reported. You'll get a prescription for suboxone and that will be your business. It doesn't compare with heroin in the withdrawal departement because heroin will have you go into immediate gross withdrawal, whereas if you were to say, miss a dose or two of suboxone, you won't be in that kind of state you see junkies in. But suboxone has a long state of slow tapering that you need to follow. I was actually misprescribed it by a stupid doctor who actually created a dependency on it that I didn't need--I saw him for benzo(XANAX) addiction. So I had to undergo the withdrawal even though I didn't go to him for an opiate habit. What's different about suboxone for me is that it gives you a lot of "lucid dreams" and while I love that idea of lucid dreams, I don't like that the ones you get from suboxone seem to be a bit macabre and nightmarish.

 

But it's not like the other opiates and it works well if you work it the way they prescribe. There can't be any doing what you mentioned those other folks doing of switching drugs around to suit themselves for the moment. They are not committed to recovery. You have to be otherwise it's just a farce.

 

As for XANAX, my doctor (a different one than the jerk who prescribed suboxone) weened me off with Valium over 4 months. It worked and I wasn't uncomfortable at all. I didn't feel the Valium even working because it just "covered" the need to keep the withdrawal symptom from grabbing through. So, I urge you to find out about the absolute edges of privacy laws and if whetever doctors you go to even need to know if you carry a gun for your job. No one asked me anything of the kind. So, if it were the case for me, I don't think I would have had the worry you do. Check it out and be well.

[skydiveaddict]

HERE IS ANOTHER DELIMA I HAVE AS FAR AS SEEKING "PROFFESIONAL" HELP. I AM A C.C.W. CARRIER. (CONCEAL CARRY PERMIT) IF I SEEK HELP FOR DRUG ADDICTION I WILL LOSE MY PRIVILEGES AND BE LABELED A DRUG ABUSER FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE.

 

 

I'm not so sure about that. I did some reading on this, and in my state anyway, (colo) Seeking "professional help" shows the authorities that you are indeed sane and seeking help for your problem. Besides, the only way they can find that out is to conduct another background check. And if you haven't committed a crime why would they do that?

[painfulxsistense]

yes i suppose i could get away with it until renewal then what? lie? it plainly ask "are you currently addicted to any medications" or" have you been treated for substance abuse within the past 5 years" or " are you currently under psyhiatric care"

[Feelin Frisky]

yes i suppose i could get away with it until renewal then what? lie? it plainly ask "are you currently addicted to any medications" or" have you been treated for substance abuse within the past 5 years" or " are you currently under psyhiatric care"

 

As things are, you're going to have to LIE anyway. So don't use that as an excuse. If you're gonna lie, at least lie while getting better rather than lying and staying the same (somehow telling yourself that not telling the truth is not lying). It's better to so "no, I've not been treated for substance abuse" while having been treated effectively than lying about being addicted and just being an active addict.

[skydiveaddict]

yes i suppose i could get away with it until renewal then what? lie? it plainly ask "are you currently addicted to any medications" or" have you been treated for substance abuse within the past 5 years" or " are you currently under psyhiatric care"

 

 

I am a ccw carrier myself, and if you can break this addiction with the help of a doctor, they wont care. I'm currently being treated by a shrink for ptsd, I had to renew my license last month and it went through no problem.

[just_some_guy]

HERE IS ANOTHER DELIMA I HAVE AS FAR AS SEEKING "PROFFESIONAL" HELP. I AM A C.C.W. CARRIER. (CONCEAL CARRY PERMIT) IF I SEEK HELP FOR DRUG ADDICTION I WILL LOSE MY PRIVILEGES AND BE LABELED A DRUG ABUSER FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE. GOTTA DO THIS ON MY OWN. I HAVE THE WILL POWER TO FIGHT THE PHYSICAL ADDICTION ITS JUST THE MENTAL THATS A BITCH! I HAVE TREMENDOUS WILL POWER WHEN NEEDED. I ONCE LOST 65 LBS AND NEVER GAINED IT BACK BEEN 6-7 YRS. NOW. maybe if i just go and see a psychiatrist about some of my issues and learn to cope with things without chemicals i can conquer this demon! very good advice thankyou.

 

You already ARE a drug abuser. You've been snorting your 'scripts. If the CCW process in your state says you can't be a drug abuser, you are already a felon. Time to come clean, completely.

 

Time to face up to reality, to face up to the consequences of your actions, admit you are powerless over the drugs and your life has become unmanageable.

 

Or you can keep going down this road, line it with excuses, wind up dead or incarcerated.

 

Your call chief.