anon Posted March 11, 2004 Share Posted March 11, 2004 There is a restaurant owner who I think is interested in me 1) He asked my father about me while I was away from college, but that was a few years ago. 2) He stares at at face sometimes 3) Is enthusiastic when I enter his restaurant 4) Starting greeting me by my name, without me telling him what it was (he found out from my phone orders) 5) Tries to make conversation However, I'm confused and can't tell if he really likes me or if he just wants my patronage as a customer, because 1) He has never asked me out from the two years I've been coming in his restaurant (mind you, I stop going in for periods at a time and when I return he mentions that he hasn't seen me for a while), and I never attend more than 1x per week. 2) Our conversations are never extended I can't tell if it's a lack of real interest or because he has little time to really talk to me, since he it's just two people at the counter, and he is the cook (as well as the owner). He interacts with customers in a friendly way. The only time we get to talk is when he is giving me my order. Should I vary the times that I come in, for example coming close to closing time and see if he chats with me more? Or should I just assume that he's not interested or not interested enough? Thank you. Link to post Share on other sites
sweetbilly Posted March 11, 2004 Share Posted March 11, 2004 It's kind of hard to tell, can you elobrate a little more. What does he talk about when you talk? does he try to make you laugh? I know when I like someone i'll flirt by trying to make them laugh. does he take the time to go the extra mile to serve you better than the other customers? does he touch you in a soft manner? does he swear around you? I never swear around a woman I like. If you want to really want to know sometimes it's good to just ask. I know I like it when someone asks me, it's flatering. If you like him don't pursue too hard though this sometimes scares guys away, we sometimes think she's too interested and may actually want something else like money, my house, or my car. At least this is my problem. Link to post Share on other sites
anon Posted March 11, 2004 Share Posted March 11, 2004 Originally posted by sweetbilly can you elobrate a little more. What does he talk about when you talk? does he try to make you laugh? . . . If you want to really want to know sometimes it's good to just ask. I know I like it when someone asks me, it's flatering. If you like him don't pursue too hard though this sometimes scares guys away, we sometimes think she's too interested and may actually want something else like money, my house, or my car. At least this is my problem. Something like: "Hi (my name), How are you today? I thought you maybe werent coming in (if I'm late, and he knows it's going to be me by the number that I use when I call). You haven't been in for a while. When he asked my father about me while I was in college, it was before he had opened up his own restaurant and I didn't even know he existed (my family were regular patrons of his parents' restaurant). What would classify as being to aggressive, just so I won't likely do it? I'm really shy, often come in unsmiling and/or pouting and silent. Barely look at him. Sometimes, I'll catch him looking at me intently and then he'll quickly look away. I think I'm going to just come in as stricly as a patron, or do you think I should see if he chats more when I come in close to closing time? Link to post Share on other sites
sweetbilly Posted March 11, 2004 Share Posted March 11, 2004 1. If he's trying to start the conversation he's probably interested. 2. If he's happy to see you he's interested, especially if he remembers your name. I can tell you right now that he's shy, because he starts the conversation but dosen't talk long. This may be because he thinks you don't like him. If you're not smiling at him when you are talking this says "I'm not interested". now i'm going to give you the deepest, darkest secret men have. so, I have to give up my manhood now because I will be hunted by all the other guys until I die. The easyest way to tell if a guy likes you is to ware a shirt or dress where the front is low. Get into a conversation with him and look away then suddenly turn around if he's looking down your shirt this says "I only want sex" if he's being respectful this says " i'm really interested" not in your body but in you. If he is interested and you hit it off. don't talk about money, cars, or material possessions. this scares men away 1. because men that have alot of things begin to think she wants something from me car, house, bussiness. etc, or 2.we begin thinking, "she thinks I don't measure-up to other guys" talk along time before you say anything like "I like you want to go out" use touch, be soft, don't be a perv and molest him just be nonschalant about it , smile alot this helps, laugh at his jokes. Be kind use compliments like "You're funny" or " that's a really deep thought, you make me think" then tell him i like your company and i would like to get coffee with you sometime. good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
anon Posted March 11, 2004 Share Posted March 11, 2004 Originally posted by sweetbilly 1. If he's trying to start the conversation he's probably interested. 2. If he's happy to see you he's interested, especially if he remembers your name. I can tell you right now that he's shy, because he starts the conversation but dosen't talk long. This may be because he thinks you don't like him. If you're not smiling at him when you are talking this says "I'm not interested". now i'm going to give you the deepest, darkest secret men have. so, I have to give up my manhood now because I will be hunted by all the other guys until I die. The easyest way to tell if a guy likes you is to ware a shirt or dress where the front is low. Get into a conversation with him and look away then suddenly turn around if he's looking down your shirt this says "I only want sex" if he's being respectful this says " i'm really interested" not in your body but in you. If he is interested and you hit it off. don't talk about money, cars, or material possessions. this scares men away 1. because men that have alot of things begin to think she wants something from me car, house, bussiness. etc, or 2.we begin thinking, "she thinks I don't measure-up to other guys" talk along time before you say anything like "I like you want to go out" use touch, be soft, don't be a perv and molest him just be nonschalant about it , smile alot this helps, laugh at his jokes. Be kind use compliments like "You're funny" or " that's a really deep thought, you make me think" then tell him i like your company and i would like to get coffee with you sometime. good luck! SweetBilly, thank so much for your invaluable advice an tip. You really live up to your username! This guy is friendly and interacts with customers. Can he be shy and do this? About your "tip", my ex boyfriend seemed very into my body, I hope this doesn't mean he didn't love me? Link to post Share on other sites
sweetbilly Posted March 11, 2004 Share Posted March 11, 2004 Maybe that's why he's your ex. Your welcome, maybe someday you can repay me? Link to post Share on other sites
anon Posted March 11, 2004 Share Posted March 11, 2004 Sure. This guy is friendly and interacts with customers. Can he be shy and do this? Link to post Share on other sites
sweetbilly Posted March 12, 2004 Share Posted March 12, 2004 Sure, i'm shy when it comes to women. In fact, when a female says something nice to me I turn red in the face. It's easier to talk to a woman when you don't like her, or you just think of her as a friend. There's no risk. Link to post Share on other sites
Anon Posted March 12, 2004 Share Posted March 12, 2004 SweetBilly I posted on another thread about this, and the responses are that the restarateur is not interested in me enough, otherwise he would have asked me out by now (after two years of coming in, on and off). Whose opinion should I believe? The majority consensus is that he is not interested enough. Link to post Share on other sites
sweetbilly Posted March 12, 2004 Share Posted March 12, 2004 Did you ever give him a reason to believe you liked him, you might need to. Like i said, sometimes guys are so shy they won't talk, like me. And to really know you have to open-up and take a risk. If you don't ask you'll never know. But it seems to me that if he's asking about you, and he knows your name he may really be interested, or he might like your conversations. Try the conversation thing, if he's interested in you he'll do all the things I said he'd do. I know that when i'm interseted in a female I try to get as close to them as I can on a regular basis. But sometimes guys are really intimidated by women, and it gets worse for guys when the woman they're interested in is beautiful, this really intimidates me. I don't think you have anything to lose by asking. If he isn't interested he'll just say so. If he's an a**h*** he'll do it mean, but you don't want to date a jerk anyway do you. Link to post Share on other sites
sweetbilly Posted March 12, 2004 Share Posted March 12, 2004 Hey anon, if you have anymore questions post in my private messages box. I'm going out of town for a week. I promise to answer when i get back, later. Link to post Share on other sites
MdlRachael Posted March 12, 2004 Share Posted March 12, 2004 SweetBilly, Thank you :-) and have a fun weekend. Link to post Share on other sites
blue16 Posted March 16, 2004 Share Posted March 16, 2004 i would say he is interested in you. He stares at you probably because he thinks ur attractive, so he's doing his best effort to get to know you as best he can. He doesn't want to appear TOO interested because he's not sure whether you want to pursure anything. He probably doesnt want to make it uncomfortable for you by being overly agressive....because he's not sure how you feel. I would suggest giving him a couple of signals to show that you are interested ( you are, right? ). Just something like a nice smile, or perhaps a little touch on his shoulder. Anytime you touch a guy on his arm or shoulder...even if its just in a friendly matter...it'll give the impression that you want to get to know him. It sends the guy a signal that you're interested. This may be all he needs for the green light to pursue. Good luck.... Link to post Share on other sites
MdlRachael Posted March 18, 2004 Share Posted March 18, 2004 Thanks for the input, Blue16! Link to post Share on other sites
hopeless Posted March 18, 2004 Share Posted March 18, 2004 I hate to say it, but he wants in...in a biblical sense. I am guy and I know. Bummer. Cynic, I know, but it sounds like he wants bed time with you. Thats my take on it. If he's cute, go for it. Link to post Share on other sites
sweetbilly Posted March 22, 2004 Share Posted March 22, 2004 Hey anon, I'm back. Up-date me i'd like to know how everything went? Link to post Share on other sites
sinsoldier Posted March 27, 2004 Share Posted March 27, 2004 Please check your PM. Link to post Share on other sites
sweetbilly Posted March 31, 2004 Share Posted March 31, 2004 Sinsolder, check your pm box! Link to post Share on other sites
sinsoldier Posted April 1, 2004 Share Posted April 1, 2004 Ok, SweetBilly, let's hear the story and I will tell you what I think . . . :-) Tell it via private message if you prefer that. Link to post Share on other sites
sinsoldier Posted April 30, 2004 Share Posted April 30, 2004 I'm not able to access my PM at least temporarily, so can you check your other emailbox? Link to post Share on other sites
sweetbilly Posted May 4, 2004 Share Posted May 4, 2004 Hi sinsoldier, check your pm box. sweetbilly Link to post Share on other sites
ContraryMary Posted May 6, 2004 Share Posted May 6, 2004 now i'm going to give you the deepest, darkest secret men have. so, I have to give up my manhood now because I will be hunted by all the other guys until I die. The easyest way to tell if a guy likes you is to ware a shirt or dress where the front is low. Get into a conversation with him and look away then suddenly turn around if he's looking down your shirt this says "I only want sex" if he's being respectful this says " i'm really interested" not in your body but in you. In defense of guys (I don't even know why I say this since I'm a girl who's not too happy with the male species right now), I beg to differ with you. I think it's only natural for a guy to look at a girl's chest, and even better if he does it when she's not looking! Sometimes guys will say Hello or Good Morning to my chest when I *am* looking, and I don't like that much. If I don't see him looking at my chest, we're both better off. Besides, just cause a guy looks a chest doesn't mean he's not interested in the rest of her, too. Link to post Share on other sites
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