sensitiveguy Posted March 11, 2004 Share Posted March 11, 2004 Well. I hate to be a killjoy. But I think I have learned an important lesson and I want to pass it on. I had posted about getting back with the ex after 5 years. Well we were trying it. And apparently this isn't working again for her. Apparently because I was too unsure of it. Sounds like a cop out. To be honest I am actually pretty sad about this. But lesson to be learned is: If the relationship is over -> it really is over. Move on afterwards like its gone forever! We build people up in our minds to be something they aren't. If they didn't want to try in the past why would they try in the future? I feel taken of advantage of and played with. Its not a good feeling. Link to post Share on other sites
ojibwaywmn Posted March 11, 2004 Share Posted March 11, 2004 I hear ya....in some instances, you realize you are "beating a deadhorse" when trying to reconcile with an ex. I understand feeling used, etc. It will pass. It is an odd sense of relief. Finally seeing the truth, learning from it, and now moving on. Good luck to you! Take care. Link to post Share on other sites
Author sensitiveguy Posted March 13, 2004 Author Share Posted March 13, 2004 Aye, it definately was beating a dead horse. I feel very relieved to be honest with you. On to bigger and better things! Link to post Share on other sites
jonathan Posted March 13, 2004 Share Posted March 13, 2004 I wish that wasn't true because I would like to get back with my ex!!!!!!!!! I know it wont work but at lease I could say that I tryed. Link to post Share on other sites
julieg Posted March 13, 2004 Share Posted March 13, 2004 sensitiveguy, please don't fault her. she probably never wanted it to appear as if she was playing games with you. i was so------o close to getting back but backed off for this very reason-- the chance that i would leave again. it really has nothing to do with you and everything to do with her insecurities. julie Link to post Share on other sites
Author sensitiveguy Posted March 13, 2004 Author Share Posted March 13, 2004 julieg - I honestly don't fault her. I was sending a lot of mixed signals and spooked her as she says. I basically broke down and said I couldn't continue more than once. Her bailing though is just an indication she wasn't as serious as I wanted her to be. I am just so ridiculously loyal - I just had to see it through - even though I had serious doubts of my feelings. Deep down I know I was forcing it because I miss being in love. Maybe I fell in love with the whole story of the long lost love coming back. I don't know. She still has a lot of great qualities and I hope she finds someone truly wonderful. Its sad she is gone (I refused to do the friends thing right now). But at the same time she finally is really gone!(I never really let go in the past 5 years...SICK! I KNOW!) The only person I am mad at is myself... for keeping her up on this pedastal the last 5 years. Anyways on to finding love again! Link to post Share on other sites
white_angelbreath Posted March 14, 2004 Share Posted March 14, 2004 to whom it may concern: it difficult to face reality, and move on.. sometimes we just miss being in love, i agree. and we want to bring the feelings we have in the past with our ex. sometimes it works, sometimes not. probably because at this point in time, its not possible. maybe in the future, but not be too hopeful. it is only a possibility.. sometimes waiting for love requires a lot of patience it tests u how strong and independent you are but its not about it... love is patient, love is kind, the book says if you truly love the person, you'll hold on, even if it meant letting go waiting for someone is like eternity.. but even if you are waiting, try to be happy live a life that you can say in the future, at least i did that and glad i did that than just waiting and hoping for waiting without doing anything is lifeless wait, but wait while living and loving because if your ex returns to you...then the love that you have cultivated in yourself during the time you were separated with the one you love, will be sown anew but if not, you have nothing to lose, because the love that you have cultivated, will be sown anew in another person try to be happy, you have a lot to live for you are a great and special person, you can do it. believe in yourself. spirit unbroken Link to post Share on other sites
mandrews1119 Posted March 15, 2004 Share Posted March 15, 2004 Dear Sensitive, At least you had this chance (and I do not think it has ended yet for you), and if you go no further, you have closure at this junction. I think you guys took nervous steps back towards each other, and possibly could have used a bit of relationship planning other than just trying to pick up the pieces. The positive part is that if you decide to give it another go from here, you will be forced to have a better plan based on the expectations of the both of you. Best of luck. sometimes it takes more than one attempt to reconcile, as long as that is the goal you both decide on. Sometimes to get back together you need stricter guidelines than when you were first trying. Link to post Share on other sites
Author sensitiveguy Posted March 16, 2004 Author Share Posted March 16, 2004 Thanks for the kind words. I do have closure now. She was the one that officially ended it this time (again) anyways. We aren't right for each other and I should have figured that out years ago. I said "no contact" last week(the day it happened). And guess who calls "just to say Hi" today? You got it. I told her again no contact. I think she will respect my wishes this time. I can't be friends with her. Link to post Share on other sites
BrainRightHeartWrong Posted March 16, 2004 Share Posted March 16, 2004 good to hear you have closure, this definately helps you move on i found from experience i remember calling up an ex and her mother answered and told me she was going out with someone else, i hung up and instantly felt a lot better and that was that its when one receives mixed messages that prolongs the pain and stops us moving on i find good you have the strength to tell her to not contact you Link to post Share on other sites
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