foamy2001 Posted December 3, 2010 Share Posted December 3, 2010 The divorce has been final for about five months. I haven't talked to her since before the court date. She moved to another state. I changed my phone number and e-mail to keep myself from looking for a message that was never going to come. Then, about a month ago she sends me a card in the mail saying she has tried to contact me but everything has been changed. I got the card around the same time a rebound-type relationship ended. After going back and forth for a while, I send her some text messages. It was pretty vanilla conversation - very small talk type of stuff. At the end she says something like "I know it's weird but I would really like to keep in touch." I didn't respond other than to say have a good night. I mean, what is the freaking point of staying in touch? Why would she even want that? I have since regretted even contacting her and am considering changing my number again. If it was so bad that the only answer was divorce, why on earth would she still want to be "friends?" Link to post Share on other sites
strength-abounds Posted December 3, 2010 Share Posted December 3, 2010 A couple questions come to mind. What was the reason behing the D? Was her rebound guy actually the other guy? Honestly, it sounds a little like regret and a little like the grass is not greener on the other side. You did a great job of not answering her. Never make friends with exes. Link to post Share on other sites
Author foamy2001 Posted December 3, 2010 Author Share Posted December 3, 2010 The divorce was complicated. I had talked to a girl about seven months before my wife left. Nothing physical happened, but my wife was never able to get over it. Granted, we were supposedly trying to work on things and just two months before she left, she gave me a note at Christmas saying how she thought our worst days were behind us, we have only gotten stronger, etc. Now, I know it was my bad here. I should never have had an EA, but I had ended it and was doing my best to salvage my marriage. It just didn't work out, which is fine... I just don't get why she wants to stay in touch. Also, it wasn't her rebound that ended. It was mine. I had dated a girl after my divorce and things were going pretty well. We hung out all the time, she seemed to be really into me... then she suddenly stopped talking to me - no explanation or anything. It was during this time that my ex wife send the letter. I thought I was getting over the divorce but when this new girl rejected me, I kind of fell apart again. Not as bad this time, but I was really weak when my ex sent the letter. She also sent letters to my mom and step-dad at the same time. It's all just really weird. Also, I'm pretty sure she is seriously dating someone else. I don't know for sure, but just get that sense from mutual friends. Again, not a big deal.... Just makes the whole "wanting to stay in touch" thing that much more strange. Link to post Share on other sites
strength-abounds Posted December 3, 2010 Share Posted December 3, 2010 Completely understandable about the "weird" factor. My EW said the same crap to me right before I hung up on her. Link to post Share on other sites
2.50 a gallon Posted December 4, 2010 Share Posted December 4, 2010 Perhaps I am sexist, but I see this behavior a lot coming from women. My XW thought that somehow we would remain friends. In her case she was hoping we might someday reconcile. But have seen this from women who have affairs, divorce, then want to remain friends. Me, I don't see it. What is the point? It is over, time to move on. The XW and I moved a thousand miles away from our home town. On her first visit back to our hometown, my mom tells me she received a phone call from the Ex, just wanting to gab and catch up on each other lives. Mom let her have it with both barrels. Link to post Share on other sites
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