Guys: thoughts on young(20's) single moms

[AverageJoe]

Maybe you are right. Would you be as angry if women were talking this way about men? I just want to stick up for my gender.

 

So do I. Yet, I get bashed for it, by mostly women and the alert button turns into the easy button. Ironic.

 

Men are no where near as sensitive as women are. We take things in stride and it rolls off our shoulders. Or, we punch someone in the face. Its a simple process.

 

Women, in my opinion respond emotionally. And sometimes they cant or wont, see past those emotions.

 

We tend to compute things in black and white.

 

Females, on the other hand may see things such as this

http://froggey.files.wordpress.com/2008/11/womens-mind.gif

[Eddie Edirol]

How do you feel about dating us??

 

would never date single moms for anything serious ever. FWB only.

[Untouchable_Fire]

Yeah but they just do it for the dough. We all know they luv dem b**ches and hoes

 

It's not really funny. Those guys actual beat women, some where pimps.

[Woggle]

It's not really funny. Those guys actual beat women, some where pimps.

 

I am not a fan of most modern day rap though I love a lot from the 80s and 90s but other genres are just as bad. Listen to Run for your life by The Beatles.

[sweetjasmine]

I agree in theory but I get angry when I see certain things. I wish gender didn't matter so much. I really do. For the record I do not agree with these men but men just like women develop a hard shell after being hurt so many times and it is very hard to take it down once it is there.

 

So say a woman has been hurt so many times by crappy people using her for sex and she develops a hard shell which she has a hard time taking down. She comes on LS and rants about how men just want sex and how they all treat women like garbage and how they're nothing but walking penises with no minds of their own.

 

Would you be understanding of that person's background? Would you empathize?

[Woggle]

So say a woman has been hurt so many times by crappy people using her for sex and she develops a hard shell which she has a hard time taking down. She comes on LS and rants about how men just want sex and how they all treat women like garbage and how they're nothing but walking penises with no minds of their own.

 

Would you be understanding of that person's background? Would you empathize?

 

I probably would not be but women here would probably be much more sympathetic towards her than they are to the men. People tend to side with their own.

[theBrokenMuse]

It's not really funny. Those guys actual beat women, some where pimps.

Some of them have been self-proclaimed dealers, thugs and killers too. It's amazing what some people will idolize. I remember teens acting like thugs and listening to hardcore rap during my teens and even then I used to wonder, how can they possibly relate to this? What are they going to do, a drive by pellet gunning of a sheep?

[Eddie Edirol]

Eh? Have you never listened to rap music/hip hop?

 

Funny thing about those rappers is when they talk about women they are telling true stories. So the WOMEN allowed these things to happen. They eventually grow up, but less mature women take their place, happily...for the experience. I dont think rappers count in this discussion.

[frizzo]

Eh? Have you never listened to rap music/hip hop?

 

I got 99 problems....

[Woggle]

I got 99 problems....

 

The ironic thing is that Jay-z is married to one of the most desirable women in the world.

[frizzo]

The ironic thing is that Jay-z is married to one of the most desirable women in the world.

 

For now - she'll cash out. I have no doubt!

[Woggle]

For now - she'll cash out. I have no doubt!

 

She is as rich if not richer than he is on her own and just bought him a 2 million car for his birthday. He is one of the few men who lucked out.

[frizzo]

She is as rich if not richer than he is on her own and just bought him a 2 million car for his birthday. He is one of the few men who lucked out.

 

Maybe - we'll see after the almost certain divorce.

[theBrokenMuse]

She is as rich if not richer than he is on her own and just bought him a 2 million car for his birthday. He is one of the few men who lucked out.

Considering she is worth $461 million bucks that was chump change to her. Geez, what the heck does one even do with $461 million dollars?

[carhill]

Drugs, specifically coke, alcohol and physical violence dominated the 'complaints from the 20-somethings I dated back in the 80's regarding their 'men'. Overwhelmingly, in that dating pool, cheating was almost 'acceptable' by comparison. The children were products of couplings with the men those women wanted to be with. Obviously, either they changed or the resultant children impelled change in them, so they *wanted* to date someone more stable and drama-free. The incompatibility came in when they couldn't match up *attraction* with the *want*. They were still attracted to the type of man who had fathered their children. The women who had chosen healthy partners and were healthy themselves were getting married or in stable LTR's. There wasn't as much of the 'staying single' and building a career or business back then for most of the women in my demographic. My main failure was that I wasn't as aggressively sexual and 'masculine' as the prevailing norm of the era and, regardless of stability and ambition, the *attraction* wasn't there, for the broken ones or the healthy ones. In retrospect, it was really simple. The healthy ones declined my attentions because they knew they weren't attracted and the broken ones wanted what I offered and took as much as they could get, mindful that they didn't 'feel' anything, so could depart at a moments notice once an attractive man showed up. Like is often shared here on LS, filler material, and a 'safe' man to entertain their children.

 

Times have changed and so I hope has the 'single mom' dynamic. No way I'd want to re-visit that unhealthy period ever again. An alarming signal of haunts from the past is, in my current age group, those same kinds of women, now with a lot more life experience and 'stuff' under their belts, put all their energy and lives into those children and their genetic heritage, now including grandchildren, and this rules them in a way I can't quite explain adequately. It's like they're so invested in those now adult children and their progeny that there's no real room for anyone else. What I've learned to do is note the signs, accept them and move on without rancor or comment.

 

If I run across a mellow, drama-free single mom, I'll be sure to post about it, after I've asked her out on a date

[Woggle]

Considering she is worth $461 million bucks that was chump change to her. Geez, what the heck does one even do with $461 million dollars?

 

True but that is one marriage I think is real. What could she possible want from him but love. She didn't really need him for anything.

[theBrokenMuse]

True but that is one marriage I think is real. What could she possible want from him but love. She didn't really need him for anything.

Celebs get married for a laundry list of reasons but of course I do hope it's a happily ever after for her and her hubby. I still don't know what I would do with that kind of money but I am thinking since I'd have enough $$$ to buy anything I would have to take up painting or sculpting in secret and make a large portrait of them to surprise them with come birthday time... of course with my luck they would just think I was being a cheapskate.

[AverageJoe]

Drugs, specifically coke, alcohol and physical violence dominated the 'complaints from the 20-somethings I dated back in the 80's regarding their 'men'. Overwhelmingly, in that dating pool, cheating was almost 'acceptable' by comparison. The children were products of couplings with the men those women wanted to be with. Obviously, either they changed or the resultant children impelled change in them, so they *wanted* to date someone more stable and drama-free. The incompatibility came in when they couldn't match up *attraction* with the *want*. They were still attracted to the type of man who had fathered their children. The women who had chosen healthy partners and were healthy themselves were getting married or in stable LTR's. There wasn't as much of the 'staying single' and building a career or business back then for most of the women in my demographic. My main failure was that I wasn't as aggressively sexual and 'masculine' as the prevailing norm of the era and, regardless of stability and ambition, the *attraction* wasn't there, for the broken ones or the healthy ones. In retrospect, it was really simple. The healthy ones declined my attentions because they knew they weren't attracted and the broken ones wanted what I offered and took as much as they could get, mindful that they didn't 'feel' anything, so could depart at a moments notice once an attractive man showed up. Like is often shared here on LS, filler material, and a 'safe' man to entertain their children.

 

Times have changed and so I hope has the 'single mom' dynamic. No way I'd want to re-visit that unhealthy period ever again. An alarming signal of haunts from the past is, in my current age group, those same kinds of women, now with a lot more life experience and 'stuff' under their belts, put all their energy and lives into those children and their genetic heritage, now including grandchildren, and this rules them in a way I can't quite explain adequately. It's like they're so invested in those now adult children and their progeny that there's no real room for anyone else. What I've learned to do is note the signs, accept them and move on without rancor or comment.

 

If I run across a mellow, drama-free single mom, I'll be sure to post about it, after I've asked her out on a date

 

Good post, carhill.

 

I cant be as delicate...you complete me.

[Woggle]

With that kind of money we would live our lives traveling. Both of us have discussed that.

 

On another I apologize for being so hostile sometimes but it irks me how some women act like men have no reason whatsoever to be cautious. The walkaway wife epidemic is real and it is happening to men all over so do you blame us for wanting to make sure we are not another statistic?

[theBrokenMuse]

The walkaway wife epidemic is real and it is happening to men all over so do you blame us for wanting to make sure we are not another statistic?

No one wants to have bad things happen to them. I was abandoned by someone I loved with all my heart and that sense of loss is certainly a very traumatic experience for anyone to endure. As someone who has gone through two attempted rapes, I totally understand the feelings of utter outrage, injustice and overwhelming anger one feels when someone has really wronged you. IMO, I just don't think it's particularly useful to aim that anger at strangers or the faceless public rather than the person/people that are directly responsible.

[Untouchable_Fire]

Some of them have been self-proclaimed dealers, thugs and killers too. It's amazing what some people will idolize. I remember teens acting like thugs and listening to hardcore rap during my teens and even then I used to wonder, how can they possibly relate to this? What are they going to do, a drive by pellet gunning of a sheep?

 

Ice-T and many others actually worked as a Pimp. It's not "self proclaimed". That crap comes from the few guys like Pdiddy that went to college and grew up with money.

 

They take that music and relate it to women and life. Don't you get that?

 

Funny thing about those rappers is when they talk about women they are telling true stories. So the WOMEN allowed these things to happen. They eventually grow up, but less mature women take their place, happily...for the experience. I dont think rappers count in this discussion.

 

Having dated a black woman for several years, I can see how they don't feel like there is a choice but to put up with some really bad guys.

 

Don't blame them for what the men do. Those guys created that culture in which they live for their own gain.

 

So say a woman has been hurt so many times by crappy people using her for sex and she develops a hard shell which she has a hard time taking down. She comes on LS and rants about how men just want sex and how they all treat women like garbage and how they're nothing but walking penises with no minds of their own.

Would you be understanding of that person's background? Would you empathize?

 

Not really. I wouldn't really feel for a guy in that situation either though.

 

However if the government forced her to provide sex to her ex husband every month because he was "accustomed" to it.... I'd be very sympathetic.

 

I've never heard Woggle say he hates women. Just an unhealthy dose of cynicism. Women just usually take that in a different direction than men.

[theBrokenMuse]

Ice-T and many others actually worked as a Pimp. It's not "self proclaimed". That crap comes from the few guys like Pdiddy that went to college and grew up with money.

 

They take that music and relate it to women and life. Don't you get that?

Um, okayyyyy. I didn't dispute anything you said. I just mentioned that some of them brag about being dealers and killers or 'hanging with them' as well (and no, I wasn't thinking about frickin' Puff Daddy or P' Diddy Or whatever the hell he calls himself) and mentioned that I found it weird that kids living out in the farmlands were into it because I didn't see how they could relate. Not sure what has you all riled.

[Woggle]

No one wants to have bad things happen to them. I was abandoned by someone I loved with all my heart and that sense of loss is certainly a very traumatic experience for anyone to endure. As someone who has gone through two attempted rapes, I totally understand the feelings of utter outrage, injustice and overwhelming anger one feels when someone has really wronged you. IMO, I just don't think it's particularly useful to aim that anger at strangers or the faceless public rather than the person/people that are directly responsible.

 

I don't agree to aim it at innocent people but you can't blame a man for being cautious.

[Untouchable_Fire]

No one wants to have bad things happen to them. I was abandoned by someone I loved with all my heart and that sense of loss is certainly a very traumatic experience for anyone to endure. As someone who has gone through two attempted rapes, I totally understand the feelings of utter outrage, injustice and overwhelming anger one feels when someone has really wronged you. IMO, I just don't think it's particularly useful to aim that anger at strangers or the faceless public rather than the person/people that are directly responsible.

 

I wish I'd been abandoned. They both wouldn't leave and lied about everything so hard I felt like I was crazy at times. It's the hardest part for me. I'm cool with cheating where I can just walk away. I don't have issues finding someone new. But... lying and trying to hang onto me like i'm the only handhold dangling over the grand canyon....

 

I'm sorry about the rape attempts. Nobody should have to go through that.

[Mme. Chaucer]

Not wanting to date a single mom, is hate?

 

No. I think people are free to date those who meet their preferences. THIS is hate:

 

And of course being a frigid shrew has absolutely no effect on this right? The ONLY thing men need from women is sex, and yet women somehow feel when they deny this to men that men are somehow jerks for getting it elsewhere?