Guys: thoughts on young(20's) single moms

[MJ2]

How do you feel about dating us??

[musemaj11]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JrBVMUVt1Aw&feature=related

 

If you have a choice, steer clear from single moms.

Edited December 4, 2010 by musemaj11

[JohnnyBlaze]

I've dated moms before and I'd do it again. And no, none of the breakups were because of their kids.

[carhill]

The kids were great; the adults incompatible. I had about 20 years of off and on dating with single moms from various socio-economic backgrounds and, loving kids, I probably accepted more incompatibility than was healthy. If you meet a compatible guy, the kids won't matter. That guy will likely have children of his own. I was an anomaly amongst my peer group. Most of my male friends would never have dated a single mom during that time period, and generally didn't. They all eventually married single, childless ladies and had children with them.

[skydiveaddict]

How do you feel about dating us??

 

 

No problems here. Except I'm probably older than your dad

[Untouchable_Fire]

How do you feel about dating us??

 

On paper I'm cool with single mom's.

 

The biggest issue is how to handle the kid. Being a step father is permanently awkward and a huge disadvantage. It takes time and resources away from your own biological children.

 

It's inherently just a bad situation.

[nice-easy-day]

I'm a single guy, never married, no kids, 30's.

 

I've had the opportunity in the past but have shunned away from it. It's more mental than anything. Now at my age I would be more willing to give it a shot. Here's the deal... we would have to get along almost perfect so I wouldn't have to deal with relationship problems with her AND a kid. I can deal with a kid and I can deal with relationship issues with a woman. But I won't deal with both at the same time.

[Feelin Frisky]

If we don't get married young, at least im my experience, the choice seems to be out of our hands most of the time. Women have kids--so, it's kinda a tough wait to pass on any girl just because she's had a child. It's how free she is--if the baby daddy still in the pict. etc that determines a lot of other things.

[Stung]

On paper I'm cool with single mom's.

 

The biggest issue is how to handle the kid. Being a step father is permanently awkward and a huge disadvantage. It takes time and resources away from your own biological children.

 

It's inherently just a bad situation.

 

Step-parenting is largely what you make of it, rather than just a big inherent negative. Sure, it requires some extra effort, especially in the beginning. Yes, my stepdaughter takes money, patience and time, like any other child--but she is a wonderful older sibling, spends a lot of time with her baby brother. They love each other immensely, and she teaches him, helps me with him, influences his life positively in numerous ways. She adds richness to his life, rather than diverting it from him. I love her too, she's a smart, great kid--she's my family member in her own right, not a 'disadvantage'. Having a blended family isn't perfect, and sometimes her other parent is a PITA, but all families have their complications--certainly, our family structure is NOT permanently awkward. Overall we're doing really well and we're all pretty happy with our arrangement.

 

Not every blended family works this well, but it's certainly a possible outcome.

[Seamless74]

Me personally id have to say its a no go,,, but strange things can happen im old enough to know that.. But tell you the truth im not really into the whole kid thing. Kids are kinda like dogs to me the only one I like is mine u know? But then again if I were to fall in love with a twenty something single mom im sure id find a way to fall in love with the kid at least temporarily and go all Jerry Maguire or something..

 

 

My whole thing outside of the kid is the 20 something bit,, Im 36 and you wouldnt really think it be that huge a difference.. But 20 something women all seem to be into emo, vampire, zombie, harry potter, facebook, myspace, and the whole texting and addiction to ipod thing,, I just cant really relate to girls that young..

[fishtaco]

Having kids is not a good thing, but it's not a deal breaker. It has a lot to do with the mom too. If she expects me to be the new daddy, no way.

[Els]

From what I see, the older/more family-ready men (and women) are more likely to be receptive to single parents.

 

For instance, right now I would see a single dad as a dealbreaker. But perhaps by 30 I may not.

[Woggle]

It would depend on a multitude of circumstances.

[xpaperxcutx]

I imagine the men who are more willing are those most receptive towards children.

 

Single mothers naturally have it harder because the men they meet are dating both mother and children, which can often times be a deal breaker because they're literally courting baggage.

[krz12]

Judging by myself and my peers (I am 24), young 20s single moms is an absolute no go.

[AverageJoe]

Just say no to single mothers. Immediate, exit stage left. Especially at the age of twenty.

 

Not may men want to carry another mans baggage. Not many men want to pay for any other mans mistakes. Think about that, girls.

 

It doesnt help your opportunity for advancement when you have to drop what your doing to tend to soccer practice, the doctor visits, or has a runny nose.

 

By the way, why did Dad leave? There is reason.

[jimbo]

It was horrible. Granted, the woman was in her early 30's and older than me, but it was a disaster. The kid and I got along fine. But, when she had her tantrums, it was hell. I remember, she wanted to go to a specific restaurant, but the restaurant was closed. She started to cry saying but she wanted that restaurant. It was closed. We then went to three yes three other restaurants until she agreed to eat. She's a teen too. Then there was movie night. Me, the mom and three of the daughters closest friends of the moment. Also, game night. Me, the mom and five of her closest friends. Plus, the mother was a mess. On the top, she was fine. Once she became comfortable, horrid to be around. Always sad and depressed. My fault, of course.

 

Riding solo or dating a mom with a child. Rather ride solo until I die.

[MJ2]

Judging by myself and my peers (I am 24), young 20s single moms is an absolute no go.

 

Just say no to single mothers. Immediate, exit stage left. Especially at the age of twenty.

 

Not may men want to carry another mans baggage. Not many men want to pay for any other mans mistakes. Think about that, girls.

 

It doesnt help your opportunity for advancement when you have to drop what your doing to tend to soccer practice, the doctor visits, or has a runny nose.

 

By the way, why did Dad leave? There is reason.

 

 

Aah, and these are the kind of prejudgments I'm not looking foward to. And I'm 25, not 20. At least I'll be able to weed out a lot of guys who don't deserve me.

 

High School was the Last time I was single! I've been on dates here and there over the last year, but I wasn't looking for a BF, just trying getting a little experience. It was fun. But now I think I'm finally ready to put my heart out there again, :x lord help me!! Lol

 

I have twin 4 yr old sons. They aren't mistakes and their dad is an awesome dad. I'm looking for a man to make ME happy & if he's lucky, he'll get to meet my boys when the time is right. I would never bring my kids on a date or even bring them around a guy unless I was CRAZY about him.

 

They spend every other weekend and at least one night a week @ their dads. He pays around 2 grand a month in child support, so it will never be my boyfriends responsiblity to support them or raise them.

 

I know every situation is different. I guess I'll try to avoid guys 28 and under. I think a lot of young single moms give us a bad rap! Like the crap you see on mtv. ( amber and gaaary) lol anyway, thank you guys for responding. I love hearing everyones different views.

[jimbo]

Aah, and these are the kind of prejudgments I'm not looking foward to. And I'm 25, not 20. At least I'll be able to weed out a lot of guys who don't deserve me.

 

High School was the Last time I was single! I've been on dates here and there over the last year, but I wasn't looking for a BF, just trying getting a little experience. It was fun. But now I think I'm finally ready to put my heart out there again, :x lord help me!! Lol

 

I have twin 4 yr old sons. They aren't mistakes and their dad is an awesome dad. I'm looking for a man to make ME happy & if he's lucky, he'll get to meet my boys when the time is right. I would never bring my kids on a date or even bring them around a guy unless I was CRAZY about him.

 

They spend every other weekend and at least one night a week @ their dads. He pays around 2 grand a month in child support, so it will never be my boyfriends responsiblity to support them or raise them.

 

I know every situation is different. I guess I'll try to avoid guys 28 and under. I think a lot of young single moms give us a bad rap! Like the crap you see on mtv. ( amber and gaaary) lol anyway, thank you guys for responding. I love hearing everyones different views.

 

Wish my ex did that. It might of lasted or at least broke on a good note. Our dates with her child were.... Interesting. You seem stable.. I believe she was bipolar.

[AverageJoe]

Aah, and these are the kind of prejudgments I'm not looking foward to. And I'm 25, not 20. At least I'll be able to weed out a lot of guys who don't deserve me.

 

Derserve you? Where does this sense of entitlement come from? Deserve you? Really?

 

 

I also didnt notice anyone here say single moms were bad people.

 

I am not here to tear you down but, damn. Lets keep some perspective please.

The rest of your comments sound like an ad.

[MJ2]

 

By the way, why did Dad leave? There is reason.

 

 

I couldn't forgive him for things that he did, My feelings changed for him & when he came back from war, we never really got back on track. We hooked up back when I was n high school. I guess we met too early in life, idk!!

[AverageJoe]

Ah, you wanted a baby.

[MJ2]

Just say no to single mothers. Immediate, exit stage left. Especially at the age of twenty.

 

Not may men want to carry another mans baggage. Not many men want to pay for any other mans mistakes. Think about that, girls.

 

It doesnt help your opportunity for advancement when you have to drop what your doing to tend to soccer practice, the doctor visits, or has a runny nose.

 

By the way, why did Dad leave? There is reason.

 

Whenever u talk about kids as if they r mistakes and baggage, and an expense for future boyfriends... umm yeah I'm gonna let u know that ur immature & WRONG. Maybe in some situations what u said could be true, but not in every situation.

 

But my kids don't have a deadbeat dad so I want a man for ME not my kid

 

I don't like to be labled. And clearly u have one lable for ALL single moms.

[MJ2]

No, it wasn't planned.

[sb129]

Ah, you wanted a baby.

 

Yeah, thats what so many girls do right?

 

MJ- twin 4yr old boys!

 

Wow, they must keep you busy.

 

This may not be relevant to dating, but just to boost you up from all the puerile rubbish you have had on this thread, my boss says that mothers make the best employees.

She says they are more organised and committed.