The positives of being in an LDR

[Taucher]

The focus on the LDR part of this forum is naturally a bit sad. We are away from the ones we love so there is bound to be some agnst. But it's been 3.5 weeks for me in an LDR and I am positive at the moment, and I want to look at some positives of being in an LDR.

1) An LDR that survives is a relationship that lasts

I do believe this. Obviously it is not a guarantee. But seriously, when you meet your SO at an airport for the last time, and your relationship stops being long distance, what can go wrong? It's like a test. And the point you meet for the last time, for the beginning of the rest of your lives, is like a big tick. You've passed the test. It will take work like any relationship, but there is a stronger foundation I think.

2) You get to know each other in a unique way

When talking is all you have, I think you get to know each other in a different way. The hours I have spent with my ex just...talking. I am sure it is the same for you. And I think that in the future I will remember these nights on the phone and think they were really quite special. The intimacy is special to LDRs.

3) It creates a certain kind of clarity

When I met my GF, I was immediately blown away by her. We had 6 amazing months together in London as a couple and then...visa issues! So away she went. I had a choice to make. The choice was simple (give up or fight for us) and the decision was easy. I have had a girlfriend or two in the past who I KNOW I would have given up on at this point. But not this one. I won't lose her.

4) It makes you stronger

Before we went long distance, I took the ease of our relationship for granted a little bit. Why wouldn't I? We were in love, we saw each other every day. This is how it is for most couples. But in an LDR you KNOW you want to carry on, despite all the difficulties. I have HAD to make a massive decision which involves quite strong emotions.

5) Takes you out of your comfort zone

LDRs almost always involve being with someone from a different City, Country or country, with all the cultural differences that come with that. I am planning on visiting my SO in Colombia, for a month, early next year. I am not one of the traveller type people; I have friends who have spent a year travelling the world - not me. But I have made the decision to go there as if it is the most natural thing in the world. Might not sound much, but it's a suprising change my life has taken. An LDR will eventually have to involve one of the couple moving somewhere new. Who would make that decision so naturally and easily?

6) It is the greatest love story

As far as the universe is concerned, our situations are insignificant. On an individual level, they are among the most epic and grandiose stories equal to the greatest stories in literature. I love the romantic side of an LDR. Some people just wouldnt bother, they have told me. But all the stories on this forum re-affirm my faith in love and to some extent, humanity. Some people are afraid to truly love; not people in an LDR.

 

So, sorry about my slightly daft thread, but I really wanted to look at the positive.

 

Anyone got anything to add?

 

T

[folieadeux]

Not daft at all.

 

I think you'll enjoy this:

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t239555/

[Els]

There was an awesome thread about this... but folie beat me to it

[kemi22]

great thread couldn't have said it better myself =].

[Peppermint11]

Great thread! I also think it allows you to explore and grow within yourself, if you need. My SO and I are both finishing graduate school. We decided together, that this was something we both needed to do. Although it is tough, it has brought us closer together in many ways, despite the miles and is allowing each of us to persue our own dreams. I believe any healthy relationship should support each others wishes, even if it takes them apart for awhile!

[TokyoG33kyGal]

i agree with all points

 

about getting to know each other in a unique way, my boyfriend and i would have saturday dates on xbox live doing games, chats, webcams. sometimes we watch a movie together or we would try to get to know how we think by answering hypothetical questions from a very nice book (i forgot the title sorry XD)

 

i also love the fact that him and i are pretty open-minded. we don't argue a lot and we try to talk our problems out. which i think is a good foundation in a relationship -- communication.

 

it also tests your patience, determination and faithfulness to your partner.

[Komplicated]

this was really beautifully written & i think it also allows you to know that the person will be there for you through thick and thin. Security and support is very important, especially for men! they love knowing their female companion will stick by their side. I think every time my bf has a problem and he talks to me about it and we resolve it he falls a little more in love with me & i certainly fall more for him when we overcome mountains together