kemi22 Posted December 4, 2010 Share Posted December 4, 2010 Me and my boyfriend have been together for 2 years now and i haven't really had a problem with they distance until now. We started dating while i was in college and he only lived a few hours away so it was easy seeing each other at least once a month. Now I moved back home and we 15 hours apart making visiting harder and a lot more expensive which doesn't help and we see each other every 3 months if not longer. My issue now is i always get excited about his visit but there always seems to be something missing between us. Don't get me wrong we have a lot of fun together and I enjoy his company, but i feel maybe the spark is gone or we just have become so use to talking over the phone that we never have anything to say when we;re together. I wanna know how have some of you dealt with this and if i should keep on trying with him. Link to post Share on other sites
folieadeux Posted December 4, 2010 Share Posted December 4, 2010 If you’re feeling the spark may be gone and that you don’t have as much to talk about, then I fear there are bigger issues going on here than the distance. You see each other less often now that you moved back home, so it makes perfect sense that you speak on the phone more. And your time together should be even more special because of it. I couldn’t imagine personally feeling this way. My SO and I speak on the phone at least once a day everyday and we still manage to not miss a beat when we’re together in person. It just happens without even thinking about it. I know everyone’s idea of communication varies, but nothing compares to that connection you have to your SO when you can finally be together after weeks and even months of waiting. Do you guys have a next visit planned? Has he been noticing a problem too? Link to post Share on other sites
Author kemi22 Posted December 5, 2010 Author Share Posted December 5, 2010 he's planning on coming to see me in january after the holidays since tickets are cheaper and he doesn'r feel like anything is wrong. Maybe it's just me? Link to post Share on other sites
folieadeux Posted December 5, 2010 Share Posted December 5, 2010 he's planning on coming to see me in january after the holidays since tickets are cheaper and he doesn'r feel like anything is wrong. Maybe it's just me? Could be, but the fact that you were questioning whether or not you should still try with him is indicative of bigger things. I could be totally off, but usually people don't feel that way for no reason. Link to post Share on other sites
Peppermint11 Posted December 6, 2010 Share Posted December 6, 2010 Hey Kemi! What are hard question to be dealing with, but know many others have also gone through similar situations. Hang in there! My SO and I have been apart for almost a year and a half now... it is TOUGH! My question for you is, how do you feel when you are together, do you still feel attracted to him (physically, emotionally, mentally) and do you still want to see a future with him or are your goals taking you different places? Do you still want the same things? There are points when I get so frustrated with the distance that I want to end my LDR BUT I always come back to the fact that I love my SO and our relationship AND I want a future with him. Also, whenever we see each other (about every few months) it eases my worries b/c everything is (generally) pretty awesome when we are together. It could be that you two have grown apart, that does happens sometimes or that you have fallen "out-of-love" into a more platonic love with him. Is there anyone else you are attracted to or interested in? Have you thought about what it would be like if you two were not together any longer-- what emotions come to mind? Many of the questions will help you figure out where you stand and if this relationship is still what you want. Good luck on your quest of self-discovery! Link to post Share on other sites
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