Child masterbation -- common or should I be concerned?

[Chitowngirl]

I have a 6 year old sister. I have caught her masterbating about 4 times now. The first 3 times she was touching her private with her fingers. Today I walked in on her using a ping pong ball to massage her private and she gyrating like she was having sex. She knows what sex is, since last week she made a comment, "My two fish are having sex!".

She is not my daughter. My sister. I told her mom what she was doing and she just brushed it off.

I'm concerned because I didn't know what sex was until I was about 11 I think, and I certainly never thought about touching myself when I was a child. I thought I was dying when I got my period at age 11.

Thoughts please..

[Feelin Frisky]

Jeez, I don't have any thoughts. What can ya do really, except try not to be around? I didn't know about sex either until my dad told me at 11 and I didn't believe him for another 2 years. I couldn't believe the next door neighbors did that much less him and my mother. My mother will float into heaven on a cloud like the Virgin Mary when she dies.

 

If I were religious I'd say, say a prayer for your sister. But since I'm not just hope for the best and try to be a good example. Maybe she's really precocious and knows what's what and maybe she's just innocent and it's a small phase she'll forget about. When I was a kid, a girl who was my age (6) was real piggy about that and did stuff to shock me. She called me and said look and when I looked she was trying to pee in the end of a Yoohoo bottle while laughing at me. She grew up managing not to be a slut, ho or teen pregger so, who knows what this means at that age? Hopefully it will just be a passing phase.

[dreamingoftigers]

I remember having curiousity about that area when I was about that age. Not so sure about the gyrating thing though.

 

When I change my 18 month old's diaper she will sometimes try to touch down there (nothing really graphic or overt). I am quite positive that she hasn't had anything happen to her and she is generally a pretty fun and happy kid, she just seems to be feeling around to see what is going on. I suspect that that is perfectly normal.

[xpaperxcutx]

6 years old? What? :eek:

 

I didn't even know about masturbation and sex until I was 12, and even then I was still a naive to take it all in.

 

Do you think early sexual development lead to future promiscuity?

[tinktronik]

Some children do touch themselves in ways that they realize feel good. It is usually not abnormal. I would let your mom deal with this if she has any concerns she can talk to your sister's doctor.

[Chitowngirl]

Thanks. I have been googling and found articles that say masterbating at age 5-6 is normal! Ah!!! I do not remember that, or even knowing what it was? All I remember from when I was in kindergarden is the classes I attended, and the boys who made fun of me. One boy made fun of me since I sucked on my hair, and the other bullied me on the bus. I do not remember having so much free time to touch myself? I had an older sister and younger sister though, so I was always busy playing with them. My 6 yr old sister is an only child. I wonder if that has to do with it?

Gosh. Child masterbation is such a horrible topic. I wonder if she's been abused, or she is just curious, bored, or overly sexual? Her dad still takes baths with her, and she's 6...so I wonder if that has anything to do with it? I would say my 6 yr old sister is a nudist, since my mom and step-dad allow her to roam free nude until there is a guest in the house. Their whole thinking is they want her to be comfortable with her body. I wonder if it will backfire and this is the beginning.

[Feelin Frisky]

Thanks. I have been googling and found articles that say masterbating at age 5-6 is normal! Ah!!! I do not remember that, or even knowing what it was? All I remember from when I was in kindergarden is the classes I attended, and the boys who made fun of me. One boy made fun of me since I sucked on my hair, and the other bullied me on the bus. I do not remember having so much free time to touch myself? I had an older sister and younger sister though, so I was always busy playing with them. My 6 yr old sister is an only child. I wonder if that has to do with it?

Gosh. Child masterbation is such a horrible topic. I wonder if she's been abused, or she is just curious, bored, or overly sexual? Her dad still takes baths with her, and she's 6...so I wonder if that has anything to do with it? I would say my 6 yr old sister is a nudist, since my mom and step-dad allow her to roam free nude until there is a guest in the house. Their whole thinking is they want her to be comfortable with her body. I wonder if it will backfire and this is the beginning.

 

 

She's your step sister I guess. She can't be your sister and an only child.

 

But that stuff about taking baths with dad is a bit out of bounds for what I was raised. I don't see how a six year old has carnal knowledge all by herself too. It's too old to be around dad in the nude especially alone in the suds. Maybe a community bath in Japan where mama-san is present it might be OK. But that's a bit weird if not suspicious for America.

[tinktronik]

She's your step sister I guess. She can't be your sister and an only child.

 

But that stuff about taking baths with dad is a bit out of bounds for what I was raised. I don't see how a six year old has carnal knowledge all by herself too. It's too old to be around dad in the nude especially alone in the suds. Maybe a community bath in Japan where mama-san is present it might be OK. But that's a bit weird if not suspicious for America.

 

6 isn't really out of bounds for a child to bath with a parent.

[johan]

I told her mom what she was doing and she just brushed it off.

 

She brushed it off because she did the same thing.

 

And the cat's out of the bag at this point. So to speak.

[sally4sara]

Get to the bottom of this immediately!

 

Yes some children even at a young age upon realizing that it feels good when they "innocently" touched their genitalia. It usually presents as humping something like a stuffed animal or just idle fondling. But the more involved or sophisticated the style of self pleasuring the exhibit, the more likely someone showed them how to do this.

 

When I was 5-6, the girl in my neighborhood I played most often with was a 4 year old. I spent the night at her house a couple of times. The first thing I noticed that was odd was the room where her father kept all his photography stuff was right next to hers while the bathroom was farther down the hall. She had to pee in the middle of the night and did so into a bucket in her room because she didn't want to have to walk past the photography room.

Then she began to do something even more odd. She began to masturbate right next to me in what is still to this day, the most involved and complicated style of masturbation I've ever seen. She wanted to teach me how too! I don't know why but something in my head told me this wasn't cool and I moved to the floor. There are so many other details about this that my adult mind recognizes now in ways my child mind did not. Looking back, I KNOW her father was molesting her. That I didn't know enough to speak up as a child and later that year moved away causing me to not know her anymore once I connected the dots has haunted me to this day. I have no idea what happened to her.

Find out who exposed her to what sex is and the full scope of what she thinks thinks is sex. A bit of humping or fondling is fairly normal for her age, but the implementation of the ping pong ball is a bit sophisticated for her age and makes me wonder if someone showed her how to do that.

[Citizen Erased]

6 years old? What? :eek:

 

I didn't even know about masturbation and sex until I was 12, and even then I was still a naive to take it all in.

 

Do you think early sexual development lead to future promiscuity?

 

I don't know about that...I remember having an orgasm when I was around 6years old...and I got my period at 8 years old (well I was 7, turning 8 that year) I developed much earlier than everyone my age. I've had sex with 3 people, all LTR's.

 

I doubt it's uncommon. Kids are curious, sex isn't something unnatural or to be ashamed of. But that's probably how she'd feel if confronted about this.

[Citizen Erased]

6 isn't really out of bounds for a child to bath with a parent.

I agree. If the bath was with her mum I doubt anyone would have a problem with that.

[tinktronik]

I agree. If the bath was with her mum I doubt anyone would have a problem with that.

 

Yep. I don't know why it's so common in the US to be funny about children being nude or a parent being nude in the presence of a small child.

 

I would say out of all the moms I know who have a couple of kids at least one of them masturbates of fondles themselves at a very early age and is sometimes more sexually questioning than the others.

 

I wonder why the OP has questions about her mom and stepdad's relationship to this child. OP do you have any reasons (besides that you parents let your sister run around naked, taking baths with parents or some self-stimulation--all these are pretty innocent taken by themselves) that set off alarm bells for you? I mean something besides general uptightness you may feel at your sister or her upbringing being different than you.

[eerie_reverie]

Remembering my own experimentation at ages 6 and younger, I don't think this is anything abnormal.

 

I don't know at what age I started masturbating with a purpose but by age 10 I was doing so with intricate fantasies about the boys in my class playing in my mind. I didn't know what sex with, but I knew I wanted to get naked with Danny.

 

Nothing bad ever happened to me. It was just natural.

[pureinheart]

She's your step sister I guess. She can't be your sister and an only child.

 

But that stuff about taking baths with dad is a bit out of bounds for what I was raised. I don't see how a six year old has carnal knowledge all by herself too. It's too old to be around dad in the nude especially alone in the suds. Maybe a community bath in Japan where mama-san is present it might be OK. But that's a bit weird if not suspicious for America.

 

Actually FF, I think that little girl has been abused...baths with dad at 6 is simply sick.

[tinktronik]

Actually FF, I think that little girl has been abused...baths with dad at 6 is simply sick.

 

I am honestly curious as to why you believe this. Could you attempt to explain please?

[sally4sara]

I am honestly curious as to why you believe this. Could you attempt to explain please?

 

I don't agree with pureatheart on a great number of things, but I'm in complete agreement here.

 

The OP has noticed how different this child's upbringing is from her own. The mother that raised her with a different set of values is the same mother raising this one. That the values are different despite this means they originate from the father. So if this child is bathing with adults, running around the house naked all the time, knows more about sex, and using small objects to directly stimulate her genitalia rather than humping or idle fondling while the OP grew up much differently - the influence is in the father.

 

Now why would it be so highly important to the father that the mother would completely change the style of her parenting to one so different unless the father had a serious investment in these things taking place? One might not want their kid to grow up self conscious about nudity and perhaps explain the basic dynamics of how babies were made at an early age, but what is so necessary to one's development that a girl bathing with her father at age 6 going to achieve? Why does the kid need to be naked so often around the house? How did she come up with the idea of using a ping pong ball to masturbate.

 

Perhaps it is all innocent. But would it be a bad idea to find out before writing it off?

[tinktronik]

I don't agree with pureatheart on a great number of things, but I'm in complete agreement here.

 

The OP has noticed how different this child's upbringing is from her own. The mother that raised her with a different set of values is the same mother raising this one. That the values are different despite this means they originate from the father. So if this child is bathing with adults, running around the house naked all the time, knows more about sex, and using small objects to directly stimulate her genitalia rather than humping or idle fondling while the OP grew up much differently - the influence is in the father.

 

Now why would it be so highly important to the father that the mother would completely change the style of her parenting to one so different unless the father had a serious investment in these things taking place? One might not want their kid to grow up self conscious about nudity and perhaps explain the basic dynamics of how babies were made at an early age, but what is so necessary to one's development that a girl bathing with her father at age 6 going to achieve? Why does the kid need to be naked so often around the house? How did she come up with the idea of using a ping pong ball to masturbate.

 

Perhaps it is all innocent. But would it be a bad idea to find out before writing it off?

 

I specifically asked in an earlier post if the OP had reasons, or some gut feeling, beyond these to explain why she was questioning her sister's actions. I assume she will respond when she comes back to the board. This may well be the case, I don't know at this point as I don't feel there's enough information to assume adult sexual intent.

 

I am also asking why a previous poster specifically thinks taking a bath at the age of six with the parent is disgusting or sick. I'm wondering what the rationale of finding that specific to being sick on it's own.

 

I didn't off the bat assume that the difference between one child's raising and another ( I'm assuming there's a good bit of time difference between the ages of these two children) because the original child may have been raised in a household based on the former father's values, or values that the mother held as a younger woman may have held and no longer does. I did not ultimately assume that the stepfather's values were in play in the household and that he was somehow pushing to have a child to run around naked, apparently masturbating in private, and thinking her fish were having sex as some nefarious purpose on his part. Perhaps the original poster can clue us in further as to whether the changes in the household seem to come from her mother or her stepfather.

[pureinheart]

Get to the bottom of this immediately!

 

Yes some children even at a young age upon realizing that it feels good when they "innocently" touched their genitalia. It usually presents as humping something like a stuffed animal or just idle fondling. But the more involved or sophisticated the style of self pleasuring the exhibit, the more likely someone showed them how to do this.

 

When I was 5-6, the girl in my neighborhood I played most often with was a 4 year old. I spent the night at her house a couple of times. The first thing I noticed that was odd was the room where her father kept all his photography stuff was right next to hers while the bathroom was farther down the hall. She had to pee in the middle of the night and did so into a bucket in her room because she didn't want to have to walk past the photography room.

Then she began to do something even more odd. She began to masturbate right next to me in what is still to this day, the most involved and complicated style of masturbation I've ever seen. She wanted to teach me how too! I don't know why but something in my head told me this wasn't cool and I moved to the floor. There are so many other details about this that my adult mind recognizes now in ways my child mind did not. Looking back, I KNOW her father was molesting her. That I didn't know enough to speak up as a child and later that year moved away causing me to not know her anymore once I connected the dots has haunted me to this day. I have no idea what happened to her.

Find out who exposed her to what sex is and the full scope of what she thinks thinks is sex. A bit of humping or fondling is fairly normal for her age, but the implementation of the ping pong ball is a bit sophisticated for her age and makes me wonder if someone showed her how to do that.

 

Sally is 5 million % right...a similar situation happened with my daughter, priddy much what Sally described. I was horrified later when my daughter told me what happned a couple of years later...by then we had moved.

[pureinheart]

I am honestly curious as to why you believe this. Could you attempt to explain please?

 

I shouldn't even have to explain...a grown man...OMG

[Feelin Frisky]

Actually FF, I think that little girl has been abused...baths with dad at 6 is simply sick.

 

 

Yep. I didn't want to jump to conclusion or anything but I just put that from where I'm from a 6 year old girl doesn't "bathe" with daddy. A father may supervise his daughter's washing and maybe even sponge her off from head to waist in a tub but it's past the point where she's going to school. She should be trained in washing herself already. And maybe mom might help if she has to be bathed all the way. But being naked with daddy alone in the same suds is not kosher for modest modest modern Christian or Catholic types. I'm an atheist but I was raised very Catholic and it seems creepy to ME. Daddy isn'r dealing with a baby. He's dealing with a school girl who can verbalize and figure stuff out. Sorry who thinks that's prudish.

[OrdealByFire]

I took a bath with my dad once when I was 6 or 7. Nothing happened, thank you, but by that age I was already like. "Wow. This is gross."

 

Anyways, my mom told me when I was 2 I was already masturbating bsaically. While the hot bath water was running in the tub, she said I (TMI) would stick it under the running water. I don't remember doing this, but I think she'd remember.

 

I'm now 19. And instead of giving too much information, I'll just say, I think it's normal, so long as there's nothing to lead you to believe there's something else going on.

[OrdealByFire]

I have a 6 year old sister. I have caught her masterbating about 4 times now. The first 3 times she was touching her private with her fingers. Today I walked in on her using a ping pong ball to massage her private and she gyrating like she was having sex. She knows what sex is, since last week she made a comment, "My two fish are having sex!".

She is not my daughter. My sister. I told her mom what she was doing and she just brushed it off.

I'm concerned because I didn't know what sex was until I was about 11 I think, and I certainly never thought about touching myself when I was a child. I thought I was dying when I got my period at age 11.

Thoughts please..

 

Inconsistent. She's your sister, but referred to the mom as hers, and not ours, which is odd.

[hoping2heal]

I agree that a 6 year old girl bathing with a father is inappropriate. I don't care if it's daddy- I don't want my 6 year old daughter looking at a grown man's penis! She will as others pointed out - be old enough to comprehend and understand.

 

Maybe nothing is going on, but wouldn't it be better to be safe than sorry?

[tinktronik]

I shouldn't even have to explain...a grown man...OMG

 

Well, that's incredibly helpful.