Author OrdealByFire Posted December 8, 2010 Author Share Posted December 8, 2010 It's been 9 months. If she isn't comfortable now, when would she ever be? I'm not pushing anything on her or anything, I just keep trying to understand why she does it, which just frustrates her, or she replies with "I don't know." ... Eh. I don't know. She really just hates arguments and doesn't want to risk having one if she tells me something, but I tell her we won't argue. Even when we're having an 'argument,' I'm completely calm, I'm just talking and trying to understand, but she's the one flipping out. Eh. I'll bump this thread if necessary. Link to post Share on other sites
Author OrdealByFire Posted December 9, 2010 Author Share Posted December 9, 2010 Aaaaalrighty, so here's le scoop. She FINALLY told me she's not ready for a relationship, and that she wants to "Just be 14." ... I asked her a bunch of times over the 9 months if she wanted to be her age, and she basically just said no. Oh well, I could have sensed this coming. Link to post Share on other sites
TMichaels Posted December 9, 2010 Share Posted December 9, 2010 Aaaaalrighty, so here's le scoop. She FINALLY told me she's not ready for a relationship, and that she wants to "Just be 14." ... I asked her a bunch of times over the 9 months if she wanted to be her age, and she basically just said no. Oh well, I could have sensed this coming. So leave her alone OBF, and move on. I don't care how much you love her and how much you'd like things to be different. SHE'S A MINOR and you have no business trying to make her into an adult. Best, TMichaels Link to post Share on other sites
aerogurl87 Posted December 9, 2010 Share Posted December 9, 2010 Aaaaalrighty, so here's le scoop. She FINALLY told me she's not ready for a relationship, and that she wants to "Just be 14." ... I asked her a bunch of times over the 9 months if she wanted to be her age, and she basically just said no. Oh well, I could have sensed this coming. Trust me in the end it will DEFINITELY be for the best. Link to post Share on other sites
Author OrdealByFire Posted December 9, 2010 Author Share Posted December 9, 2010 (edited) Trust me in the end it will DEFINITELY be for the best. Obviously it will for her. And she's really. Back and forth. She tells me it's over, but then we just need a break, then she loves me, etc. I don't know. I'll keep posted, but in a week's time or so, I expect for us to both be on with our lives. She also keeps giving me false hope, which is also bothersome. I mean she told me she wanted to 14, which I understand, but then she acts like. I can't even think. Ay Caramba. I'm all kinds of effed up. The gut feeling is never wrong though. It REALLY isn't. Edited December 9, 2010 by OrdealByFire Link to post Share on other sites
aerogurl87 Posted December 9, 2010 Share Posted December 9, 2010 Obviously it will for her. And she's really. Back and forth. She tells me it's over, but then we just need a break, then she loves me, etc. I don't know. I'll keep posted, but in a week's time or so, I expect for us to both be on with our lives. She also keeps giving me false hope, which is also bothersome. I mean she told me she wanted to 14, which I understand, but then she acts like. I can't even think. Ay Caramba. I'm all kinds of effed up. The gut feeling is never wrong though. It REALLY isn't. I understand your hurting right now, but believe me you will find someone closer to your age who is better suited for you. My boyfriend went through something very similar with his ex (he was 17 and she was 14) and she led him on for 2 years. Not a few months but TWO freaking years! He was sad to see it end as he had invested so much into being with her and did I mention he waited to see her in person for two years, only to never be able to do so. Now he's with me, someone closer to his age and someone able to give him the relationship he wants and deserves which isn't full of middle school drama. So although things look bleak now, trust me you will be so much happier that this ended now rather than later in the long run. Link to post Share on other sites
hoping2heal Posted December 9, 2010 Share Posted December 9, 2010 OP, She is acting just like a 14 year old girl. This is how 14 year old girls are. One minute they want one thing, and the next minute they want something very different. While the idea of having a BF and some of the comfort that it can bring is nice, it will begin to feel suffocating after awhile. For her, it probably has. Leaving the element of sex alone and aside, her parents have every right to not want their 14 year old talking online to a 19 year old for the sake of her mental and emotional well being. I got messed up in a similar situation with an older guy when I was 15 (and he was 20). I remember at the time how "mature" I felt and it didn't seem like we were that far apart in age, and even though things never got sexually intimate, I was way too young to handle the pressures of having a relationship. Too young, too naive, too inexperienced. Trying to balance both really just ended up breaking me down after about a year, especially since I had to hide the truth from my parents and friends. Loving someone means more than simply the feelings you get for them, when you love someone you want what is best for them in every way possible. Link to post Share on other sites
Author OrdealByFire Posted December 9, 2010 Author Share Posted December 9, 2010 Well they didn't mind us talking, they just didn't want us to see eachother for legal reasons. And I know, I want her to be happy. It's just that the other part of me is pathetically hung up on her and doesn't want to let it go. Link to post Share on other sites
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