My girlfriend is reckless, but I love her.

[wwjj2255]

Things keep coming up in my relationship that upset me - issues - and I get over them. I'm good that way. It usually takes me less than a day to get over things. But stuff just keeps coming up. First it was finding out the number of her previous lovers, which is very high, even by my standards. (I know she didn't do anything wrong, but this knowledge upset me nevertheless. Anyways, I'm over it now, so don't judge me). Then it was her drinking and driving and taking risks, and she's already had a DWI. She does burlesque dancing which I'm fine with, but when I found out she was dancing on a stripper pole in front of a large group of people I was a little perturbed. Now last night she told me she did cocaine.

 

Don't know about this. I want to marry this girl. She's not as bad as the previous paragraph makes her seem. She's just a little bit of a party girl. I did cocaine in the past. I've had lots of lovers. I had a DWI. But I grew up. She's totally faithful (yes, really) and she's an accomplished person. But I simply cannot marry her until she calms down a bit. I will not propose until I feel she is ready to be a little more domestic/docile and have a family.

 

What should I do? Should I wait it out? I do love her, but what if she never calms down? What if she ends up in jail? I'm a grown man, and although I still like to have fun, my wild days are pretty much behind me. I'm not sure how long I can hang in there for someone who has not grown up yet.

Edited December 5, 2010 by wwjj2255

[hoping2heal]

Things keep coming up in my relationship that upset me - issues - and I get over them. I'm good that way. It usually takes me less than a day to get over things. But stuff just keeps coming up. First it was finding out the number of her previous lovers, which is very high, even by my standards. (I know she didn't do anything wrong, but this knowledge upset me nevertheless. Anyways, I'm over it now, so don't judge me). Then it was her drinking and driving and taking risks, and she's already had a DWI. She does burlesque dancing which I'm fine with, but when I found out she was dancing on a stripper pole in front of a large group of people I was a little perturbed. Now last night she told me she did cocaine.

 

Don't know about this. I want to marry this girl. She's not as bad as the previous paragraph makes her seem. She's just a little bit of a party girl. I did cocaine in the past. I've had lots of lovers. I had a DWI. But I grew up. She's totally faithful (yes, really) and she's an accomplished person. But I simply cannot marry her until she calms down a bit. I will not propose until I feel she is ready to be a little more domestic/docile and have a family.

 

What should I do? Should I wait it out? I do love her, but what if she never calms down? What if she ends up in jail? I'm a grown man, and although I still like to have fun, my wild days are pretty much behind me. I'm not sure how long I can hang in there for someone who has not grown up yet.

 

I am not sure how well this is going to go over either. In my early 20's I had my own share of being a "party girl" and it wasn't a problem back then to hang out with like minded "party men". Of course just like you, I grew up. I can't imagine being in a relationship with someone still in that stage. In fact, I'd be driven nuts. It's not a judgement thing, it's simply that I couldn't deal with that now not being in that same place. The incompatibility would be off the charts.