LexiB Posted February 3, 2011 Share Posted February 3, 2011 Yesterday morning my Layer did her best to take my testimoney of drugs in my wifes apartment hoping for my temp custody and a drug test for my wife. She was shot down. The Judge said he is setting a date for Feb 24th with my wife and I there to hear the testimoney regarding the drugs. She will lie under oath so it will simply be my word against hers. My only hope is that the Judge can be pursuaded to order a drug test for my wife which she would fail and give me leverage again. We wanted to at least get her served yesterday, but she was off work and 65 miles away at the mans home she cheated with. She stayed the night as usual. No way to serve at his apartment because I have no clue where it is. Lets hope she is at work today so I can finnaly get this scum bag served. Sorry for everything you and your daughter are going through. Good luck and please keep us posted. Your stbx sounds like a loose cannon... Link to post Share on other sites
spiderowl Posted February 3, 2011 Share Posted February 3, 2011 I'm sorry to hear what happened and I do know what a sudden turnabout can feel like. Basically you suffer from shock, physical and mental, for a while, but you will come through it. I know that must sound trite. Reading through your mails though the one thing that strikes me is how much you idealise this woman. Yet, the woman you describe is cold and deliberately hurtful. I can't believe she changed just like that, she was probably cold and hurtful to others in her vicinity before all this happened. No-one's personality changes that much. Of course, we are only hearing your perception of things. If you are honest with yourself, do you really feel you had he perfect marriage before? Did you never argue about anything, have no complaint about her? I'm sure you can think of things you weren't happy with but maybe you dealt with them by shutting off or going out or something so they weren't so obvious to you. However, I don't know and maybe it was perfect. When something similar happened to me, a friend said to me, "you know, he's not the guy you thought he was, the guy you thought he was wouldn't do this to you", and she was right. I was idealising him. Later on, months later, I can easily think of all the things that bothered me about him but which I put aside, explained away by differences of opinion, a different background, etc., when really we weren't compatible and I would have grown to dislike him. The difficult thing, apart from the pain of being left like this, is that you are adjusting to a new reality. A new framework will gradually replace this old one and you will adjust and start to feel better. I took beta-blockers for a while (prescribed by my doc) because my heart was racing and felt like it was jumping out of my chest. It was a physical shock reaction. The reaction to something like this is physical as well as mental and that's what you are feeling. If you don't feel the pain is diminishing or is getting worse, please see your doc. Once the shock subsides and you start to adjust, you will feel relief and more relaxed. Gradually, you will start to see the positive side of life and new friends, even girlfriends, will make you realise that life can be an adventure and great fun. You will see that instead of loss, there are lots of opportunities out there. One day, like me, you'll be glad you didn't end up locked in an increasingly unhappy relationship with someone unsuitable. Link to post Share on other sites
Goldenspoon Posted February 8, 2011 Share Posted February 8, 2011 Dude, what's going on? Link to post Share on other sites
IfiKnewThen Posted February 10, 2011 Share Posted February 10, 2011 hey hensley...we dont care if you and your wife had a big reunion. we just want to hear from you . : ) just kidding but please update. are you ok? how's your daughter? Link to post Share on other sites
Author hensley258 Posted February 13, 2011 Author Share Posted February 13, 2011 WOW, i cant agree more with this. You BOTH did wrong. If she were aserial cheater I would say forget her.But it doesnt sound like the case here. It sounds like she felt she had nowhere to turn. You admit you treated her like sh** and she in turn did the same. Not excusing the way she treated you, it was pretty heartless, (and no excuse for YOU treating someone you love so much that way either!) but maybe it was the only way you could see/understand how you were actually treating her. Try to make it work, give her another chance - like she is giving you. Hold the boat... I took that liar back 4 times and offered to forgive her and asked for marriage therapy. Each time this lasted just a day or two until she got a call from her OM to patch up an argument or break up they had. She only comes to me when they fall apart. I am second option. Should I be second Option? As for driving her to this. I never hit her, I am a great father, I always initiated affection with her from day one which she often didn't want. Yea, I would get upset and raise my voice when my wife was non-receptive to me. Any husband would. We did things together, but could have done more. I could also name 25 things she did during the marriage that were not proper treatment to any husband. I cooked for her almost every night, did the laundry, got my daughter off to school, Cut the yard and landscaped it every week, kept the house organized and clean, and 3 nights a week gave her massage and great oral sex, gave her my whole paycheck every week to balance the budget. No money for me. I gave it all. Yea, who would want a husband like that? Every day after work I have one and only one 12oz beer and this was what she had to bitch about because she couldn't think of anything else. I guess that makes me an alcoholic right? It was also justification for cheating too I'm sure. So how many times do you suggest I keep letting her thru the door everytime she has a tiff with this other man because she is afrade to be alone? That is not Machismo, that is saying this is enough and I deserve better than to be 2nd man on the list. So before I get any reply saying I didn't try then you better think twice. I did my freaking best because I wanted to keep my family together. She cheated and she abandond the family unit NOT ME. Next time she calls crying or walks up that drive way she can kiss my ass because I was burned 4 times since Oct 22 2010 and I am done. Women always think us men just give up and that's BS because most of us try so hard to keep things together. Even willing to forgive infedelity. Link to post Share on other sites
IfiKnewThen Posted February 14, 2011 Share Posted February 14, 2011 hensley wants going on with the court situation and your daughte? did they test your ex. how are you doing? Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts