marqueemoon4 Posted January 20, 2011 Share Posted January 20, 2011 (edited) marrying someone who comes from a background of (lots of) divorce. Its almost like a family tradition to them. Edited January 20, 2011 by marqueemoon4 Link to post Share on other sites
cerridwen Posted January 20, 2011 Share Posted January 20, 2011 I overlooked the pattern of how he left past relationships. As far back as high school, he'd always secretly set up another girl in the wings before leaving his current one. While I wasn't left for someone else, I'm certain he had someone on the back burner to help him through these trying times Link to post Share on other sites
vtbrokenhearted Posted January 20, 2011 Share Posted January 20, 2011 1. Couldn't communicate about feelings, emotions, etc. 2. Had to be in control all the time, and dominate situations; would get very angry/frustrated if things didn't go his way. This could be anything from getting his car fixed, to a computer program not working, etc. 3. Didn't have a good relationship with his mother, and a complicated one with his father 4. Had many friends, but none of them close This sounds exactly like my stbx, except: -He kept everything from his mom- he'd always tell me he didn't want to hurt her. He'd tell me not to smoke in front of her to which I responded, "I'm an adult, and I'll do everything I normally do in front of her." -Him and his father kept a lot of things from me and his mom. -Would tell me that everyone else who had children (the majority of our friends and family) was miserable and he didn't want to give up his free time. He would say this randomly during the period which we were trying to conceive and after our miscarriage. -He didn't come to the hospital during my miscarriage, blood transfusion and DNC after the hospital, my sister and I called him. BIG RED FLAG! I was just so overwhelmed after the miscarriage and getting laid off and so embarrassed, I didn't want to talk with anyone about how he'd decided to act. Link to post Share on other sites
Kansas Posted January 20, 2011 Share Posted January 20, 2011 1. His parents had a very f-d up relationship. His relatioship with his family was "off" - long standing grudge with his brother; definitely didn't respect his mother and thought his father was weak. 2. He hadn't been in a 'real' relationship for 4 years (which only lasted 4 months) and after that he had relationships with women, but refused to commit to any of them. In fact he strung the girl before me along for 2 years before she walked. 3. He has a very low self image but a huge ego ... if that even makes sense. He would seek woman's attention to get validation. 4. He never introduced me to his family and only introduced me to a couple of his friends ONCE. 5. Lots of female friends who would do anything for him ... none of which I was allowed to meet. 6. Only called me on HIS terms. When he needed to talk or get something off of his chest. 7. And the ****ing icing on the cake: When I suggested he see a therapist for his commitment issues he did. I thought it odd that suddenly he and his therapist became "friends" and flat out disgusted when I found out that a sexual relationship developed between them. Oh ... I dated a winner, I dated a winner. Yup, Yup. A winner. Link to post Share on other sites
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