inlove crush guilty thorn and married

[BelluniBlue]

I’m 30 and have 6 years married. I met my husband trough our tax guy. He is not my type at all but I recognize he is very attractive, at the beginning I only looked at him as a friend, but I recognized certain qualities that cached my attention such as tenderness, patience, respect, humbleness, he also had a great sense of responsibility, was a gentleman plus hard worker, doesn’t smoke, drink, drugs or cheats. We started dating and soon I felt for him, the only big problem is that we never had sexual chemistry, I felt so frustrated that I thought about breaking the engagement, but my mother and some friends advised me that chemistry is not as important since its meant to disappear anyways and it only last a couple of years. Well after 3 years of dating and living together when I was like a princess to him we tie the knot, and soon he started to show me another face of his personality, every time that we had an argument he gave me the silent treatment for days!!! No matter what simple or silly was the problem, If I cried he never try to care for me and never said I’m sorry or apologize. During days he was very grouchy and he withdrawal emotionally from me, Not all the time but very often 3 or 4 times a month. He doesn’t go out because he doesn’t have friends (introvert) so those days when he is mad he goes to bed immediately after arriving from work.

One of our biggest issues is communication; we communicate a lot but interpret messages in a very different way. The big issue is our sex life, wish was dull all this years even that I tried talking to him and spice thinks up, doing new stuff, we both have very high sex drives but he is absolutely passive in bed, no foreplay and no moaning or sounds, only couple positions, we had arguments over that too, he always said that that his personality is that way and period.

Things got really bad 5 years ago when my sister brought some old pictures of us when I was a go-go dancer, He immediately got obsessed with my body, I was 21 and super skinny 20 pounds underweight, He start mentioning that I was so hot, and now I wasn’t taking care of my self blah blah. Immediately I started working out and a tuna regimen lost only about ten pounds and he was grouchy to a point that months later I had liposuction, 3 weeks after the lipo he told me that was the worst waste of money ever because I looked the same. I started building low self stem and resentment. I’m mention only the bad things of my marriage but he has great qualities as well, has been great in many other aspects, very supportive with my personal goals and respects my independency and admires my personality. I thought that he e had this crazy obsession sort of anorexia by proxy or something. The last 2 years he started changing for the worst he was sometimes a complete *******, he never call me names before but he started calling me bitch, Stupid, retard etc and he became a coach potato, I think he got bored of me sexually arguing the weight factor. (I’m not fat 5”6 size 8, just not a gogo body anymore) I tough he was having an affair and after arguing he mentioned my weight was a turn off. He didn’t have an affair and I told him that he shouldn’t be so superficial since I love him all I mentioned the lack of Chemistry all this years. This really hurt his ego we almost separated, and I think knowing that I did not felt chemistry stills haunts him, we went to a couple’s retreat to try to work out our communication and sex, He stop calling me names and our sex improved a little bit but not really, suddenly half of this year, I found my self literally begging him to have sex with me, I did everything sexy clothes, porn etc, I was so frustrated that I broke some things because every time I want to talk why he was teasing me into having sex and later say that was tired he gave me silence treatment again !!!

But things got mixed when a guy from my works entered the picture,

He had a crush on me since more than 1 year ago, he is very cute and sweet, but I never paid attention since I am a married woman and I was very in love and busy trying to work things out w my husband. But one day after dreaming w him, the feeling just hit me and I found my self developing a crush on him too, I tried to be discreet but It was very obvious that there was something going on s since we locked our eyes constantly, blushed and tried to be w each other etc etc. we talked about our feelings and he never imagined that I felt the same thing for him, he told me that he played it safe because, even that his attraction for me is very strong he liked to played funny because he tough I was very out of his league plus married, so telling me nice complements it was a way of coping with the feeling. He is currently in a 9 year old relationship (living) with a woman that is 12 years his senior he is 29 too. His relationship is also on the rocks because they not get along anymore but he loves her. We agreed to pursue no further since we know we can hurt people. After our conversation I found my self COMPLETLY aroused by this man like never in my life and he never put a single hand on me. That night I tried to talk to my husband about our problems and he mentioned my weight again so I exploited and I mentioned de D word. We have had the most strange weeks since then, we had cried together and also hurt ourselves verbally very much, about now he suddenly turned into the man that I felt in love with , After 4 years he is sweet, tender, loving, caring we are having sex twice a day all positions, moaning and experiencing everything he refused to do before, but every single time I’m imaging that I’m with my co worker. My husband asked for my forgiveness about the weight issue, I know he truly regrets it, he says he was so wrong and that I have the perfect body and I’m so beautiful. I know that I’m his complete world since he has no friends and his family lives in the other side of the country. Finally I have the H that I always wanted but I don’t desire him it anymore. I feel so sad like broken inside just like something is missing something is death. I deeply love him but not as my lover.

A couple days ago my coworker touched my shoulder in the back and I literally felt a strong electricity trough my body like a burning sensation, I turned my head and found that he was behind me. I’m very sure I’m falling for this man, I can sadly tell that he is falling for me too, even that we are trying to be away from each other the most possible, (we never talk on the phone or email). We haven’t kiss or nothing. I love my H so much, he is part of my life, I can imagine not seen him again. I’m so thorn, and can help having these feelings. My dislike for my H grows while my really really strong attraction for my coworker grows, I don’t know how he waked up this part of me that I thought was dead or non existent. I’m reading articles about sexual chemistry and it says that basically its something that you feel or you don’t feel and is related to DNA compatibility, to add something else to the story neither my coworker/ I have kids with our significant others we are not using contraceptives either. I wish we had met in other circumstances because I really want him, or I wish that my husband and I could be more compatible in bed, I’m so sad and confused, thanks for taking the time of reading.

[Darth Vader]

I’m 30 and have 6 years married. I met my husband trough our tax guy. He is not my type at all but I recognize he is very attractive, at the beginning I only looked at him as a friend, but I recognized certain qualities that cached my attention such as tenderness, patience, respect, humbleness, he also had a great sense of responsibility, was a gentleman plus hard worker, doesn’t smoke, drink, drugs or cheats. We started dating and soon I felt for him, the only big problem is that we never had sexual chemistry, I felt so frustrated that I thought about breaking the engagement, but my mother and some friends advised me that chemistry is not as important since its meant to disappear anyways and it only last a couple of years. Well after 3 years of dating and living together when I was like a princess to him we tie the knot, and soon he started to show me another face of his personality, every time that we had an argument he gave me the silent treatment for days!!! No matter what simple or silly was the problem, If I cried he never try to care for me and never said I’m sorry or apologize. During days he was very grouchy and he withdrawal emotionally from me, Not all the time but very often 3 or 4 times a month. He doesn’t go out because he doesn’t have friends (introvert) so those days when he is mad he goes to bed immediately after arriving from work.

One of our biggest issues is communication; we communicate a lot but interpret messages in a very different way. The big issue is our sex life, wish was dull all this years even that I tried talking to him and spice thinks up, doing new stuff, we both have very high sex drives but he is absolutely passive in bed, no foreplay and no moaning or sounds, only couple positions, we had arguments over that too, he always said that that his personality is that way and period.

Things got really bad 5 years ago when my sister brought some old pictures of us when I was a go-go dancer, He immediately got obsessed with my body, I was 21 and super skinny 20 pounds underweight, He start mentioning that I was so hot, and now I wasn’t taking care of my self blah blah. Immediately I started working out and a tuna regimen lost only about ten pounds and he was grouchy to a point that months later I had liposuction, 3 weeks after the lipo he told me that was the worst waste of money ever because I looked the same. I started building low self stem and resentment. I’m mention only the bad things of my marriage but he has great qualities as well, has been great in many other aspects, very supportive with my personal goals and respects my independency and admires my personality. I thought that he e had this crazy obsession sort of anorexia by proxy or something. The last 2 years he started changing for the worst he was sometimes a complete *******, he never call me names before but he started calling me bitch, Stupid, retard etc and he became a coach potato, I think he got bored of me sexually arguing the weight factor. (I’m not fat 5”6 size 8, just not a gogo body anymore) I tough he was having an affair and after arguing he mentioned my weight was a turn off. He didn’t have an affair and I told him that he shouldn’t be so superficial since I love him all I mentioned the lack of Chemistry all this years. This really hurt his ego we almost separated, and I think knowing that I did not felt chemistry stills haunts him, we went to a couple’s retreat to try to work out our communication and sex, He stop calling me names and our sex improved a little bit but not really, suddenly half of this year, I found my self literally begging him to have sex with me, I did everything sexy clothes, porn etc, I was so frustrated that I broke some things because every time I want to talk why he was teasing me into having sex and later say that was tired he gave me silence treatment again !!!

But things got mixed when a guy from my works entered the picture,

He had a crush on me since more than 1 year ago, he is very cute and sweet, but I never paid attention since I am a married woman and I was very in love and busy trying to work things out w my husband. But one day after dreaming w him, the feeling just hit me and I found my self developing a crush on him too, I tried to be discreet but It was very obvious that there was something going on s since we locked our eyes constantly, blushed and tried to be w each other etc etc. we talked about our feelings and he never imagined that I felt the same thing for him, he told me that he played it safe because, even that his attraction for me is very strong he liked to played funny because he tough I was very out of his league plus married, so telling me nice complements it was a way of coping with the feeling. He is currently in a 9 year old relationship (living) with a woman that is 12 years his senior he is 29 too. His relationship is also on the rocks because they not get along anymore but he loves her. We agreed to pursue no further since we know we can hurt people. After our conversation I found my self COMPLETLY aroused by this man like never in my life and he never put a single hand on me. That night I tried to talk to my husband about our problems and he mentioned my weight again so I exploited and I mentioned de D word. We have had the most strange weeks since then, we had cried together and also hurt ourselves verbally very much, about now he suddenly turned into the man that I felt in love with , After 4 years he is sweet, tender, loving, caring we are having sex twice a day all positions, moaning and experiencing everything he refused to do before, but every single time I’m imaging that I’m with my co worker. My husband asked for my forgiveness about the weight issue, I know he truly regrets it, he says he was so wrong and that I have the perfect body and I’m so beautiful. I know that I’m his complete world since he has no friends and his family lives in the other side of the country. Finally I have the H that I always wanted but I don’t desire him it anymore. I feel so sad like broken inside just like something is missing something is death. I deeply love him but not as my lover.

A couple days ago my coworker touched my shoulder in the back and I literally felt a strong electricity trough my body like a burning sensation, I turned my head and found that he was behind me. I’m very sure I’m falling for this man, I can sadly tell that he is falling for me too, even that we are trying to be away from each other the most possible, (we never talk on the phone or email). We haven’t kiss or nothing. I love my H so much, he is part of my life, I can imagine not seen him again. I’m so thorn, and can help having these feelings. My dislike for my H grows while my really really strong attraction for my coworker grows, I don’t know how he waked up this part of me that I thought was dead or non existent. I’m reading articles about sexual chemistry and it says that basically its something that you feel or you don’t feel and is related to DNA compatibility, to add something else to the story neither my coworker/ I have kids with our significant others we are not using contraceptives either. I wish we had met in other circumstances because I really want him, or I wish that my husband and I could be more compatible in bed, I’m so sad and confused, thanks for taking the time of reading.

 

 

Lady, STOP looking for an excuse to screw this OM! DROP this OM NOW! Tell your husband what you've told us, and attend Marriage Counseling with your Husband! Whatever you do, go No Contact with this OM forever! Otherwise you will totally destroy your husband! Now, talk with your husband! GET MOVING!

[BelluniBlue]

I'm not going or planing to screw the OM, I'm not contacting him either, like I mentioned in my post we both agreed to not advance this any further because I CARE about my husband and he cares about his relationship, we don't email, call, txt, facebook etc. I don't think telling my husband about me having feelings for someone else can fix things. last year when I mentioned that he should accept me for who I am not for who I use to look before i met him, and told about our lack o chemistry he gave me the silence treatment for over a week almost splitting, we attended a couple retreat/therapy that time, we for sure should try counseling again, specially individual (for me) since he changed his behavior but I feel resentment and I'm not attracted to him (sexually) anymore.