this girl has me real stressed

[Emps...the new kid]

theres this girl I met back in October, lets call her Judy...cuz thats her name...anyway, me and Judy met through a mutual friend and we hit it off great. We exchanged phone numbers and talked on the phone for hours (I mean like 4pm to 3am "hours"). Moving on, during one of our lengthy phone conversations she mentions "Mike" to which I respond "Who's Mike?" "my boyfriend" she mumbled...This hit me hard, I had assumed since Judy gave me her number and stood on the phone with me discussing how cute I was and how she liked everything about me, that she was single. Cutting to the chase, I kept at it for months, I was so smitten with Judith that I didn't care about Mike. More and more Judy complained of Mike being a bad boyfriend and being a real jerk blah blah blah. So I pleaded with her to leave Mike, "I can treat you much better than him" I told her. But she kept giving me tons of excuses. Pretty soon I stopped caring and in my mind she was my girlfriend. We were doing everything couples do, except we weren't really a couple. She was always calling me no matter where I was and always wanted to go out and was always fiending to cuddle on my couch and just talk. She even danced in her birthday suit for me! So one day after her dance class I made her a little lunch and brought it to her house. When I got there she was crying so I asked what was the matter "I broke up with Mike" she says. I told her everything would be okay and I set her lunch on the table for her. I was excited out of my mind but I didn't want to be rude and start screaming "YES! MIKE SUCKS!!" cuz she was obviously hurting. Anyway, we got closer and closer after that (She said she loved me...before I did) and then one day she comes out of the blue telling me how "We can't have the same relationship we had because I'm back with Mike" This totally destroyed my self esteem and my mood is now constantly in the dumps. I'm a graffiti writer and now all I do I depressing grayscale pieces as opposed to the brighter "happier" work I used to do. So you see this is affecting everything about me. I am still madly in love with Judy, and she still calls and we talk and whatnot and that just makes it worse. I was with my friend Carlos and we saw them (Judy and Mike) on 42nd street holding hands. I literally almost vomited. I NEED HELP!! I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO!! ANY OTHER GIRL IS OUT OF THE QUESTION!! AAAAARRRRGGGGH!!!!

[Tony T]

When she told you she had a boyfriend after all those hours of talking on the phone, etc., she basically put you on notice she is a first class flake. Her behavior since breaking up with Mike, telling you she loves you, and getting back with Mike is further evidence that she is a world class flake.

 

So what's the big deal. You asked for this. Take it like a man and move on.

 

Go find a girl who will shoot straight with you, one that has her head on straight, and one who will be devoted to your happiness.

 

This girl is way too spacey, immature, inconsiderate, insensitive, and childish for you to consider serious dating material.

 

You cannot change her. You can only get yourself together, stop talking to her, start thinking more highly of yourself and realize you deserve to be treated so much better. I don't care how pretty she is or how good you feel when you are around her, she does NOT care about you or your feelings. She USES you for the times when MIKE is busy. Don't you get it???

 

So I guess if other girls are out of the question. you will be a single and lonely man for the rest of your life. Let us know how you're doing from time to time and we'll keep you company.

[the infamous Emps]

Tone, I know what your saying, and I know this girl is bad for me and stuff...but it's like I've become too attached to her, and the fact that she keeps coming back is making it worse. I try to act like I don't care about her but it's not working out how I would like it to. I wish I could just suck it up and move on, but I can't I hope you understand dude. There's girls literally lining up for me but I'm not giving them the time of day cuz of Judy's dumb ass. damn.

 

PEACE

 

EMPS

[Tony T]

I know what you are saying. I have been there. Girls can wrap your butt around their little finger, do anything they want, and you'll eat it up like a kitten. I have been there. I have probably done things much worse than this. That is why I really feel sorry for you.

 

This whole situation is a total and complete LOSER for you. You will get NOPLACE with this girl. But this is something you will have to learn. In 10 or 15 years, with the experience behind your belt, hopefully you will come back here and give advice to others who find themselves sickenly attached to a female who is manipulating them, controlling them with no effort whatsoever...and who drops them down the garbage disposal when they are done.

 

But until you have completely gone through the experience, there is just no way I am going to be able to convince you otherwise. Meanwhile, if I were you I would put a good counsellor on retainer to be on standby when you finally realize your heart has been ripped up one way and down the other, pulverized and left for dead.

 

This girl is not only a USER but a madwoman as well. She is certifiably insane!!! But I really and truly understand where your heart is. I used to get sucked into these kinds of things so much worse than this. Good luck, bro.