husband is attractive, but I don't feel like doing him...

[Lorraine Rosario]

I can understand where you are coming from. Sometimes I don't feel like I am attracted to my husband. It is deep rooted resentment.

When we were dating, things were great. We would spend more time at my apartment because he lives in a house that he owns but his mom and his sister live with him. I had no clue that he would want me to go live at his house after we got married. We fought so much prior to this, until I gave up the fighting, and trusted him when he said that it would be okay, and things would change. His mom wouldn't be in our business, and his sister would know not to get in our way. His mom even spoke to me about the living arrangement saying that she would give us our space. So I chose to believe him, and trust him.

Well, I've been married for 7 months now, and I couldn't feel more betrayed. I've had a couple of big arguments with his mom, and his sister does not have any common sense whatsoever. They both are always there, and we pretty much never have any time to ourselves.

We fight everyday, and I'm often left wondering why I got married. I don't want to feel that way, because he is a very good man, and he means well. It's his stupid family that I can't stand, they irritate me, and do not make this living situation any easier. So this has affected our relationship in every way possible, especially sexually. I pretty much never want to have sex, and when I do, I really have to gear myself up for it, a lot. It's not that he isn't attractive, but I just don't want to please him sexually. And when I masturbate, I don't think of him.

 

Im sorry I can't offer any advice on this, because I'm in the same boat. But at least your not alone.

[Texsun65]

Women are manipulative, nuts and never happy and sex is the tool they use to control their husbands. No respect my butt! I work and slave for the family, come home every night meet all of my responsibilities just like I have been led to believe is what I need to do and the wife can't find respect for me abd therefore does not find me attractive. Then she should leave and tell the whole world its her fault. But no, they will keep you in this failed marriage or force him to make the move out because if the man leaves he is a scoundrel and she can blame him all the way to the bank while she takes half of everything he owns. Bullcrap!

[I_am_who_I_am]

Wow Texsun65 that is the most prejudice thing I have read in a long time. To assume all "Women are manipulative, nuts and never happy and sex is the tool they use to control their husbands." Maybe you need to become a monk and live in a monastery and you won't have to see any more manipulative, nuttsy, never happy, sex demon women(succubus for short)

[I_am_who_I_am]

Col.

I definitely understand what you are going through. My husband doesn't seem to understand what he does effects me the way it does. I too found he was doing things in the beginning to appease me. Although we have a lot more problems. We have been married for 4 1/2 years now and we have 2 children. Your in an easier spot because you don't have kids. Not saying it is easy but I think you understand. We are in counseling and I think it's working. You should definitely give it a try. I was against it at first. But the few times we have gone she has given him and I a lot to think about. You 2 have to find a happy medium. Where that is for you 2 is something you have to figure out. But if he is not willing to participate, it's really a dead end road. But at least you can say you tried everything. If you think about it, how hard is it to actually find that one person you could be with for your WHOLE life!? The very few that do make it, I praise them. But I think they actually found that one. It's a rarity in my book. Life's too short to be miserable girl. You guys try to fix things and if you know in your heart it's not going to work out. Get out! Good luck

[Kendrick]

Women are manipulative, nuts and never happy and sex is the tool they use to control their husbands. No respect my butt! I work and slave for the family, come home every night meet all of my responsibilities just like I have been led to believe is what I need to do and the wife can't find respect for me abd therefore does not find me attractive. Then she should leave and tell the whole world its her fault. But no, they will keep you in this failed marriage or force him to make the move out because if the man leaves he is a scoundrel and she can blame him all the way to the bank while she takes half of everything he owns. Bullcrap!

 

Yeah sounds like you're just gonna have to live in that crap huh? You can leave if its that bad if she wont, but because you choose to stay, its probably best not to complain about YOUR choice. You can't make her do anything or change her, but you can yourself. If you were truly that unhappy and she is such a thorn in your side you would leave. Plain and simple.