calithin83 Posted March 12, 2004 Share Posted March 12, 2004 RUN AWAY....... run run...as fast as u can.... let go of all this cold.... go some place warm..some place far away...... Oh baby!!!!!!!!!!! u have me close..but u cant see...ure too blind!!! one day ill be so far...So far away....then will u miss me???then will ure eyes finally open up???? Oh babe...that will be so late...for my heart will one day go cold on u... and ill turn away and show u how i dont care...... OH baby....heres ure chance, make it right...cos the clock is ticking... Tick Tock TIck Tock... DamNn baby ure running out of time..... its been 2 months..and u still havent said those words (i love u).... damNnn baby what the hell?? too blind or what???? im too nice..but my niceness will turn cold..and i will no longer be there TiCk ToCk..Tick Tock... its too late...im slowly drifting away.... Link to post Share on other sites
Reckless Posted March 12, 2004 Share Posted March 12, 2004 Dear calithin83, This isn't really a poem so much as a jumble of words - I'm sure there is genuine emotion here so maybe that was your goal. Why not post your poems on one of the poetry writing sites on the net to get more feedback, for example: http://www.everypoet.net/~everycom/ppop/forumdisplay.php?forumid=45&poemXtra-Lite%20Critique which is a very good one for beginners or its excellent sister site PFFA? It will help you to learn the basics of poetry writing if you're interested in that. Good luck with your writing, R. Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted March 12, 2004 Share Posted March 12, 2004 "This isn't really a poem so much as a jumble of words." I disagree. You may not like it, though and that's OK. But poetry comes in many forms...and many jumbles of words. Link to post Share on other sites
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