Just got off phone with stbx wife... karma's a bitch

[iheartboobs]

A little backstory:

 

Wife left me. We were having problems and I was a dick so I'm not blaming her for leaving me, but one day we're discussing the relationship and she's crying and telling me she wants the marriage to work and that she loves me more than anything, and the next day she packs up her stuff and runs away with our daughter while I'm at work... so while I fully understand why she left, I'm still a little ticked about how she left.

 

I begged and pleaded for her to come back but she wouldn't. She blamed me for everything that went wrong in the marriage and for being the reason why she was always unhappy (even though she was on multiple anti-depressants before whe started dating). She said I was the reason she had no friends and a crappy job, that I was the reason she kept having miscarriages (in her mind, any time her period was a week late, she had a miscarriage... which was often), and that she was scared of me.

 

She wouldn't talk to me, so I left her alone.

 

One day she called me up to tell me that she really needed some money, so I helped her out and we started talking. Mostly during that time I paid for things or helped her out in other ways because she had guilt-tripped me into believing the separation really was all my fault. Eventually we discussed the marriage and she told me that she still loved me but didn't think that we were compatable. I told her I understood. Eventually the topic of us dating other people came up and I told her I'd like to know when she was ready to start dating and I'd appreciate it if she wouldn't go after any of my friends without, at least, giving me a heads-up (I hate looking like an idiot). She promised me she would let me know when she was ready to start dating and swore she would never date one of my friends because she was a better person than that and I should know better.

 

At the time of this conversation she was currently dating one of my so-called friends...

 

Not long after that she wanted to give the relationship another shot, so I went for it. It wasn't long before she started blowing me off, though, so I told her I just wanted to stay friends. I found out later she was blowing me off to go sneak around with her boyfriend... when I did eventually find out she'd been seeing this guy for months behind my back and lying to me the whole time I told her I was uninterested in being friends.

 

Fast forward two-ish months. The stbx called me today to tell me that the bank had repossessed her (my) car and that she couldn't get anything out of it because the car is in my name. She then told me that she knows I work until 5 every day and that's when the impound lot closes, but she talked to someone and they'll stay over so I can run by there and get her stuff out.

 

I said no.

 

The stbx couldn't believe it... she asked why and I said it was because I didn't want to. She said she couldn't believe after everything she did for me that I would treat her like that. I told her to believe it. She cried and said she was begging me and told me she had done wrong but she could be better and all she wanted was another chance. I asked her what good had my begging and pleading and crying and promises to be different done after she left? She was going to get the same answer I got.

 

The next 20 minutes were her crying and asking me if I really, seriously wasn't going to help her and me expaining that I was really, seriously not going to help her because I didn't give a **** about her getting back the random crap in her car.

 

Yeah, maybe it was mean... but damn. I've been waiting a good long time for karma to kick her in the ass and for it to require her to beg me for something that I can, with a clear conscience, refuse is just icing on the cake.

 

I feel justified. It's been 10 months since she left and, even though she blamed me for everything wrong in her life, she is (in nearly every conceivable way) either just as bad or worse off than she was when we were together. I, on the other hand, am prospering.

 

So, to those of you who have been wronged, here's a story of hope... of sorts...

[HopelessinDTW]

A little backstory:

 

Wife left me. We were having problems and I was a dick so I'm not blaming her for leaving me, but one day we're discussing the relationship and she's crying and telling me she wants the marriage to work and that she loves me more than anything, and the next day she packs up her stuff and runs away with our daughter while I'm at work... so while I fully understand why she left, I'm still a little ticked about how she left.

 

I begged and pleaded for her to come back but she wouldn't. She blamed me for everything that went wrong in the marriage and for being the reason why she was always unhappy (even though she was on multiple anti-depressants before whe started dating). She said I was the reason she had no friends and a crappy job, that I was the reason she kept having miscarriages (in her mind, any time her period was a week late, she had a miscarriage... which was often), and that she was scared of me.

 

She wouldn't talk to me, so I left her alone.

 

One day she called me up to tell me that she really needed some money, so I helped her out and we started talking. Mostly during that time I paid for things or helped her out in other ways because she had guilt-tripped me into believing the separation really was all my fault. Eventually we discussed the marriage and she told me that she still loved me but didn't think that we were compatable. I told her I understood. Eventually the topic of us dating other people came up and I told her I'd like to know when she was ready to start dating and I'd appreciate it if she wouldn't go after any of my friends without, at least, giving me a heads-up (I hate looking like an idiot). She promised me she would let me know when she was ready to start dating and swore she would never date one of my friends because she was a better person than that and I should know better.

 

At the time of this conversation she was currently dating one of my so-called friends...

 

Not long after that she wanted to give the relationship another shot, so I went for it. It wasn't long before she started blowing me off, though, so I told her I just wanted to stay friends. I found out later she was blowing me off to go sneak around with her boyfriend... when I did eventually find out she'd been seeing this guy for months behind my back and lying to me the whole time I told her I was uninterested in being friends.

 

Fast forward two-ish months. The stbx called me today to tell me that the bank had repossessed her (my) car and that she couldn't get anything out of it because the car is in my name. She then told me that she knows I work until 5 every day and that's when the impound lot closes, but she talked to someone and they'll stay over so I can run by there and get her stuff out.

 

I said no.

 

The stbx couldn't believe it... she asked why and I said it was because I didn't want to. She said she couldn't believe after everything she did for me that I would treat her like that. I told her to believe it. She cried and said she was begging me and told me she had done wrong but she could be better and all she wanted was another chance. I asked her what good had my begging and pleading and crying and promises to be different done after she left? She was going to get the same answer I got.

 

The next 20 minutes were her crying and asking me if I really, seriously wasn't going to help her and me expaining that I was really, seriously not going to help her because I didn't give a **** about her getting back the random crap in her car.

 

Yeah, maybe it was mean... but damn. I've been waiting a good long time for karma to kick her in the ass and for it to require her to beg me for something that I can, with a clear conscience, refuse is just icing on the cake.

 

I feel justified. It's been 10 months since she left and, even though she blamed me for everything wrong in her life, she is (in nearly every conceivable way) either just as bad or worse off than she was when we were together. I, on the other hand, am prospering.

 

So, to those of you who have been wronged, here's a story of hope... of sorts...

 

See how they come back when they need something...Good for you man...Think of it as an early x-mas gift

[iheartboobs]

It does feel good. Real good.

 

I just can't believe that she'd have the audacity to not only ask me to inconveniece myself to go get some random crap out of my car that she let get repossessed but actually seemed to expect me to do it gladly... like she was shocked when I didn't say "yes sweetheart, of course, you know I'll do anything for you" like I used to. Wtf?

 

Of course... I'm glad she did expect me to do it... that just made saying no all the sweeter.

[HopelessinDTW]

It does feel good. Real good.

 

I just can't believe that she'd have the audacity to not only ask me to inconveniece myself to go get some random crap out of my car that she let get repossessed but actually seemed to expect me to do it gladly... like she was shocked when I didn't say "yes sweetheart, of course, you know I'll do anything for you" like I used to. Wtf?

 

Of course... I'm glad she did expect me to do it... that just made saying no all the sweeter.

A few days ago I mentioned to my stbx that I was taking my son to a soccer practice in the evening. She went on to tell me how important it was that i get him there on time, and to leave the house early to make it there on time. I just looked at her and said "Ok...just calm down...let me handle it". It was like she still thought she could boss me around. When I told her that she realized that I caught her acting like a "wife", and quickly walked away. So funny...I guess you had to be there. So f**cking self-centered...as if the universe revolves around their sorry asses!

 

BTW, I went through mediation and got 50/50 overnights...no CS, no alimony. I get the house. Everything else 50% split. She racked up major CC debt over the separtion in hopes that I would pay 1/2 of her debt...no thanks...and the mediator agreed.

[Surfer203]

Love it! That must feel good man. I am WAITING for the day that my wife gets smacked by Karma. I know it is going to be hard too. I have a feeling it will be a financial thing or a "my boyfriend kicked me out on my a** can I come home?" The answer will be "No!". We'll see.

[iheartboobs]

It is pretty great.

 

She tried to guilt-trip me by saying what she really wanted out of the car was our daughter's car seat. So I asked "What do you need a car seat for? You don't have a car." Ha!

[Surfer203]

Awesome! Hahaha. Dissed!

[Woggle]

I will give you a cyber high five. I love when karma comes to them.

[TaraMaiden]

I'm glad you all feel great about your shadenfreude, but speaking as a Buddhist, your take on Karma's hilarious.....! :laugh:

[Ballerfamily]

I'm glad you all feel great about your shadenfreude, but speaking as a Buddhist, your take on Karma's hilarious.....! :laugh:

 

And I'm a Christian, so your take on Karma means nothing to me. Enjoy it guys, shadenfreude away. I love it, a German Buddist. Jihad. haha lmao

 

Gay fux de coo, duma oss

Edited December 7, 2010 by Ballerfamily

[Gunny376]

And I'm a Christian, so your take on Karma means nothing to me. Enjoy it guys, shadenfreude away. I love it, a German Buddist. Jihad. haha lmao

 

Gay fux de coo, duma oss

 

Actually if you do your 'homework' rather than accept the KJV on its face? You would find that many of Christ's saying and beliefs come from Buddist and Hindu beliefs?

 

You actually don't believe that James, John, Andrew, Paul, are Jewish/Hebrew names do you? These are Anglo/Saxon names ~ not Hebrew/Jewish names.

 

The Catholic Bible contains four more 'books' than does the KJV ~ the "Book of Ruth" comes to mind for example

 

And then there are the Gnostics which among them contain the "Book of Enoch" (The Grandfather of Moses ~ which tells of the War among the Angels and the fall of Lucifer {Satan} and a third of the "Host of Heaven"

 

BTW! Enoch is mentioned once and only once in the KJV of the Bible! And then only by name. That's it! Just his name ~ with no reference as to who he was or is?

 

Having lived the better part of my adult life in the Far East ~ Buddhism and Confucianism isn't so much a religion as it a way one should live their life ~ in harmony with nature and with others?

 

Hinduism predates by thousands of years Christianity! But there's a clear link between the two. For example Zoester?

 

A Persian "Messiah" if you were ~ that predated Christ by almost two thousand years.

 

Yet he and Christ along with Budda and many others said the same things.

[Gunny376]

LOL ! In Alabama tha' "Redneck" version of 'Karma' is ~

 

"What comes around ~ goes around!"

[trippi1432]

I'm glad you all feel great about your shadenfreude, but speaking as a Buddhist, your take on Karma's hilarious.....! :laugh:

 

I get it Tara...:o

[Ballerfamily]

LOL ! In Alabama tha' "Redneck" version of 'Karma' is ~

 

"What comes around ~ goes around!"

 

IJK. I like it. In my amish country the version is, " ya reap what ya sowww"

And then on my ex's side the TT version is: " if ya got a tooth, i'll do ya" and then who cares, I'll just do the other cousin when I get tired of that one"

[Gunny376]

I'm not going to get into a "Fire-Fight" with you! You'll lose! And I would HATE that for you! You've obvisiouly never dealt with a pissed off Marine! Let alone a retired United States Marine Gunney Sergeant

 

So I'm going to let you and your's just go!

 

God bless you and yours!

[trippi1432]

to thine own self be true,,,,that all who come before you go in peace...those who love and care wish no ill will...that is not Karma. In Buddism......Karma is born..of the ornate and preceding you in birth...it is your heritage..whether fair or unfair. Karma is not to be controlled or ordained by human hands.

[Gunny376]

to thine own self be true,,,,that all who come before you go in peace...those who love and care wish no ill will...that is not Karma. In Buddism......Karma is born..of the ornate and preceding you in birth...it is your heritage..whether fair or unfair. Karma is not to be controlled or ordained by human hands.

 

Did I ever tell I Loved you as a person or an invidaual?

 

Yes I did!

[Perhaps]

A little backstory:

 

Wife left me. We were having problems and I was a dick so I'm not blaming her for leaving me, but one day we're discussing the relationship and she's crying and telling me she wants the marriage to work and that she loves me more than anything, and the next day she packs up her stuff and runs away with our daughter while I'm at work... so while I fully understand why she left, I'm still a little ticked about how she left.

 

I begged and pleaded for her to come back but she wouldn't. She blamed me for everything that went wrong in the marriage and for being the reason why she was always unhappy (even though she was on multiple anti-depressants before whe started dating). She said I was the reason she had no friends and a crappy job, that I was the reason she kept having miscarriages (in her mind, any time her period was a week late, she had a miscarriage... which was often), and that she was scared of me.

 

She wouldn't talk to me, so I left her alone.

 

One day she called me up to tell me that she really needed some money, so I helped her out and we started talking. Mostly during that time I paid for things or helped her out in other ways because she had guilt-tripped me into believing the separation really was all my fault. Eventually we discussed the marriage and she told me that she still loved me but didn't think that we were compatable. I told her I understood. Eventually the topic of us dating other people came up and I told her I'd like to know when she was ready to start dating and I'd appreciate it if she wouldn't go after any of my friends without, at least, giving me a heads-up (I hate looking like an idiot). She promised me she would let me know when she was ready to start dating and swore she would never date one of my friends because she was a better person than that and I should know better.

 

At the time of this conversation she was currently dating one of my so-called friends...

 

Not long after that she wanted to give the relationship another shot, so I went for it. It wasn't long before she started blowing me off, though, so I told her I just wanted to stay friends. I found out later she was blowing me off to go sneak around with her boyfriend... when I did eventually find out she'd been seeing this guy for months behind my back and lying to me the whole time I told her I was uninterested in being friends.

 

Fast forward two-ish months. The stbx called me today to tell me that the bank had repossessed her (my) car and that she couldn't get anything out of it because the car is in my name. She then told me that she knows I work until 5 every day and that's when the impound lot closes, but she talked to someone and they'll stay over so I can run by there and get her stuff out.

 

I said no.

 

The stbx couldn't believe it... she asked why and I said it was because I didn't want to. She said she couldn't believe after everything she did for me that I would treat her like that. I told her to believe it. She cried and said she was begging me and told me she had done wrong but she could be better and all she wanted was another chance. I asked her what good had my begging and pleading and crying and promises to be different done after she left? She was going to get the same answer I got.

 

The next 20 minutes were her crying and asking me if I really, seriously wasn't going to help her and me expaining that I was really, seriously not going to help her because I didn't give a **** about her getting back the random crap in her car.

 

Yeah, maybe it was mean... but damn. I've been waiting a good long time for karma to kick her in the ass and for it to require her to beg me for something that I can, with a clear conscience, refuse is just icing on the cake.

 

I feel justified. It's been 10 months since she left and, even though she blamed me for everything wrong in her life, she is (in nearly every conceivable way) either just as bad or worse off than she was when we were together. I, on the other hand, am prospering.

 

So, to those of you who have been wronged, here's a story of hope... of sorts...

 

Your post should be stickied in the coping thread. People need to learn to stand up for themselves instead of letting someone push 'em around. I really respect you for standing up for yourself and not giving in to crocodile tears.

 

Mad props, yo.

[LuckyClover]

It is pretty great.

 

She tried to guilt-trip me by saying what she really wanted out of the car was our daughter's car seat. So I asked "What do you need a car seat for? You don't have a car." Ha!

 

 

Funniest comeback I've heard in long time... You just made my day!!! haha ... Perfect... Seriously that's funny. :laugh:

[trippi1432]

Did I ever tell I Loved you as a person or an invidaual?

 

Yes I did!

 

Both Gunny...I loves you too! :love:

[FanFan]

Does she know that you know that she was sleeping with one of your friends behind your back? If so, did she apologize for it? Are they still together?

[TaraMaiden]

I get it Tara...:o

 

Thank you kindly....

 

to thine own self be true,,,,that all who come before you go in peace...those who love and care wish no ill will...that is not Karma. In Buddism......Karma is born..of the ornate and preceding you in birth...it is your heritage..whether fair or unfair. Karma is not to be controlled or ordained by human hands.

 

Well actually, strictly speaking (and specifically according to Buddhism) that's not quite accurate....

Karma is basically volitional action, be it mental, verbal or physical.

And the OP, for all his gloating, may find that his lack of compassion (albeit somewhat understandable) may eventually turn on him and find him in need without someone to help him.

Maybe.

Who knows?

All I know, is that by keeping mental verbal and physical actions(Thoughts, words and deeds) 'clean' we have a grester chance of being happy with the results.

 

That's all.

 

 

Thanks to both you and Gunny.

You guys rock.....

[iheartboobs]

I'm glad you all feel great about your shadenfreude,

 

Thank you.

 

Your post should be stickied in the coping thread. People need to learn to stand up for themselves instead of letting someone push 'em around. I really respect you for standing up for yourself and not giving in to crocodile tears.

 

Mad props, yo.

 

Thanks... I'm not usually one for letting people walk all over me anyway, but I can't stand to cause a girl to cry and she has a way of pushing the right guilt buttons to pretty much make me do what she wants. After 9 years of nearly constantly being lied to, though, I'm sick of it.

 

Funniest comeback I've heard in long time... You just made my day!!! haha ... Perfect... Seriously that's funny. :laugh:

 

Thank you. I thought it was pretty clever myself, but the stbx didn't seem to appreciate it nearly as much as it deserved.

 

Does she know that you know that she was sleeping with one of your friends behind your back? If so, did she apologize for it? Are they still together?

 

She knows. I went over to her place to check on her because she'd been sick and fainting and wasn't answering her phone and when I got there his car was parked out front and the door was open, I knocked and entered and they were snuggled on the couch watching a movie... that's how I found out.

 

She did apologize-ish... I mean, she never said she was sorry for dating this guy or lying to me about it, but she did apologize for being very "confused" and too scared to tell me. Basically, she's sorry that things happened that she couldn't control and that there was really nothing she could do about it.

 

They are still together. He cheats on her regularly and, until I put a stop to it by threat, she was sending me dirty texts behind his back... so they basically deserve each other.

[Gunny376]

Thanks! But I tend not to "Rock" without the "Beatles. "Rolling Stones" nor Led Zepplin! :bunny::bunny:

[You Go Girl]

And the OP, for all his gloating, may find that his lack of compassion (albeit somewhat understandable) may eventually turn on him and find him in need without someone to help him.

Maybe.

Who knows?

All I know, is that by keeping mental verbal and physical actions(Thoughts, words and deeds) 'clean' we have a grester chance of being happy with the results.

 

That's all.

 

 

Thanks to both you and Gunny.

You guys rock.....

 

The above underlined.

I too understand why the OP feels the way he does. But the gloating...one just never knows what is in their future. It is bad to gloat. Not saying that karma will get him back for it, no.

But one day, who knows, he could find himself sick or in need, and needing the kindness of someone, perhaps even complete strangers.

 

I understand the ex needed a wake up call that he wasn't going to be at her beck and call.

But to feel good about refusing her, in a malicious gloating manner...not good.

In the end...kindness is all that matters. Look at the big picture of life, suffering through the milleniums...kindness was all that ever mattered. It's my mantra, and I'm sticking to it.

 

Trippi and Gunny--you two just aren't on here enough anymore!