Jealousy/resentment toward boyfriends dog

[lilcmc9]

Hi There,

 

So I know what many of you are thinking how can someone be jealous of a dog and how crazy is someone that is. I KNOW! My logical brain tells me I'm being dumb and immature but somehow my emotional response to the situation is completely different.

 

My boyfriend has a 2 year old female pit, hes had her since she was 8 weeks old (way before me, I've only been around for 6months =P). Anyways, she is super attached to him. Like beyond attached always jumping on him to lick his face, laying on him following him around constantly. She has no training so is always on all the furniture, jumping on people, trying to eat off our plates etc. Honestly I love the dog shes super sweet and fun. Heres the problem.

 

I feel like she comes first, always with almost everything. If we are cuddling watching a movie on the couch and she comes up jumps on his chest and starts licking his face, he honestly kissing her back (basically like they are making out, even his roommate and friends laugh and think its a bit odd) and then lets her come up and curl up next to him. Shes not small either prob a full 75 pounds so half laying on me and pushing herself next to him. I'm not that jealous of a person it used to not bother me until i realzied it happens everyday, anytime we kiss hug cuddle she always tries to get between us and he will drop whatever we were doing to kiss her tell her shes beautiful he loves her etc. hes even gone to the extent of saying "ah baby sorry for cheating on you" after she had come up and jump between us when we've been kissing. I'm not saying he's a bad boyfriend hes honestly not, he tells me those same things as well (exact same things almost).

 

Am I completely crazy for feeling like this? I never actually say anything I just get annoyed and quiet cause I feel like if I actually say whats wrong he will think I'm completely psycho. Its hard because I don't have any pets or anything so my friends and family are the next closest things I love. I hate feeling like I'm always in competition with her for his attention, and shes a dog I really don't want to feel that way. Any advice or reality checks you want to give me would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!

[ColumbiaD]

I can understand being annoyed by this, and maybe a little jealous? also.

 

I had this problem with my husband when we first got our dog together (who is a male, btw). My opinion of pets is that no matter how much we love or like them, they are animals, they do not belong on the furniture, the need to be trained, and they are never to be treated as equals or like people, which is what your bf is doing - treating the dog as your equal. No wonder you're annoyed.

 

Husband has never had a dog before, and thinks he's just sooooo cute, and look, he wants to be with us, can't he cuddle on the couch with us? And would cuddle with the dog over me.

 

My dog is my little buddy, but he is NOT my husband, and I will not cuddle with him and kiss him as though he is a replacement for H, nor will I ignore my H when the dog starts asking for attention - he is an ANIMAL, my husband is a PERSON.

 

Because of my husband's and my different attitudes about this, we needed to have a discussion about it. I suggest you do the same if you are going to continue seeing this guy.

[Duowolf]

It's not weird at all. Lots of people have dealt with this. Check on amazon for a book called When Pets Come Between Partners. Granted it goes into more details, but you're not the only one to feel that way. I've had my previous relationship ruined because of a cat. My ex, who probably had issues himself, treated the cat better than anyone else. He wouldn't get up if it was on him, he'd always pay attention to it over me even if I was asking for a hug or something, and the worst was when he kicked me out of bed for it because he was too hot, and he made me squeeze out because the cat was taking up half the bed and he could not move it one inch because then it would leave and get off the bed (nevermind that he used to shut it in his room with him when he slept so it couldn't get out).

 

I didn't care at all at the start either, but the little things kept building up, just treating it special over me all the time. I eventually became illogically jealous of the cat and was never able to get over it because the cat became the physical representation of everything wrong between us, and our poor communication about it and a few other issues led to the end of our relationship.

 

So yea, you need to talk to him about it. Animals should never ever ever come before people. Ever. They're just animals. Also the face licking is super gross. I don't know how you put up with it.