Single Mothers In America: Entitled Attitudes?

[sweetjasmine]

Yeah, where'd this theoretical bad boy come from? How'd he become part of this equation?

 

I'm sure there are lots of situations where the single parent got involved with a "bad boy" or "bad girl". But I've also seen a lot of widely different situations, including people who lost their partner and were left to raise the child/ren alone.

 

In fact, my SO's parents were both single parents when they met and later married. His mom walked in on her first husband having sex with her friend, so she took her baby and divorced him. His father's first wife ran off to her home country because she couldn't handle the pressure of raising a special needs child. Neither of them was a promiscuous idiot who married people who treated them wrong and all that other stuff people are projecting onto their idea of what a single parent is.

 

But I guess if your husband drowns and you're left with the two kids all by yourself, you must have been one of those stupid girls who only slept with bad boys and then tried to find those good guys you ignored after you got screwed over. Obviously.

[jimbo]

Yeah, where'd this theoretical bad boy come from? How'd he become part of this equation?

 

It's usually the bad boy's who hit it and quit it. It's rare that a good guy would leave the woman to fend for themselves.

[jimbo]

I'm sure there are lots of situations where the single parent got involved with a "bad boy" or "bad girl". But I've also seen a lot of widely different situations, including people who lost their partner and were left to raise the child/ren alone.

 

In fact, my SO's parents were both single parents when they met and later married. His mom walked in on her first husband having sex with her friend, so she took her baby and divorced him. His father's first wife ran off to her home country because she couldn't handle the pressure of raising a special needs child. Neither of them was a promiscuous idiot who married people who treated them wrong and all that other stuff people are projecting onto their idea of what a single parent is.

 

But I guess if your husband drowns and you're left with the two kids all by yourself, you must have been one of those stupid girls who only slept with bad boys and then tried to find those good guys you ignored after you got screwed over. Obviously.

 

 

Obviously.

[Green]

That's really getting old. It's nothing short of repetitive.

 

Well its my advice which is very basic and common sense.

[Mad Max]

Well its my advice which is very basic and common sense.

 

 

Here's some more basic and common sense advice: If you're good looking like you said you were in another thread, then it doesn't really matter.

[Green]

Here's some more basic and common sense advice: If you're good looking like you said you were in another thread, then it doesn't really matter.

 

Hey I still have to watch out for entitled women like single mothers and all the other different types of entitled women.

 

I consider myself good looking but I still have to approach women, flirt, ask them out, then touch/kiss on the date and be romantic.

 

I've been in a seriouse relationship for over 2 years now but I had been single for over a year before that. And even though I was going out on dates with different girls it took meeting A LOT of girls before I fourd the perfect one.

[SteveC80]

Its not just single moms most American Women sense of entitlement borders on comical.

 

The things women think they deserve or are entitled to is mind boggling

[GooseChaser]

Its not just single moms most Americans' sense of entitlement borders on comical.

Fixed.

 

10 char

[SteveC80]

Fixed.

 

10 char

 

Womens sense of entitlement is higher.They want a Man whos looks and social status are higher then them

[Untouchable_Fire]

Single moms aren't just choosing a partner, they're choosing a father for their child. I think they generally feel that their child is entitled to the best (everyone wants the best for their child) and so they show that sense of entitlement in dating. But it's not entitlement for themselves, it's entitlement for their child, if that makes sense.

 

That kid should already have a father.

 

That sort of makes sense... but if they really wanted a great father for their child... there was plenty of time to select that man before pregnancy occurred.

 

Obviously the child needs a male role model. But the mom should have thought about that before sleeping with the bad boy. Fast forward 10 years or so and she suddenly wants the good man who she wouldn't give the time of day to 10 years earlier. In that case, she thinks she can sleep with the bad boys and deserves a good man when she's older. Bet she doesn't put out as much to the new guy.

 

Go check out the infidelity forum. It's almost always nice guys who's wives are cheating on them with jerks. A good chunk of those cheating wives already had kids before the marriage. Seriously... go read!

[GooseChaser]

Womens sense of entitlement is higher.They want a Man whos looks and social status are higher then them

Hehe. I just say that many Americans are entitled because many live beyond their means. The amount of people that let debt get the better of them is scary.

 

Come on, so men don't chase after models? What people want and what they get are two different things. Men as well as women will take the best that they can get. If they aren't willing to accept what they can get, they will stay single. People have many qualities that they wish to find in their partner, and it depends on the person.

 

Social status is not considered as important for women as for men by society, from what I understand. I was reading the story about the lawsuit with Walmart today about the inequality between the sexes, and that is a point they made. Men are judged much more by their social status, and they are expected to go farther in their career and education. Over time, women are catching up, but we have a ways to go.

[skydiveaddict]

Its not just single moms most American Women sense of entitlement borders on comical.

 

The things women think they deserve or are entitled to is mind boggling

 

 

 

True words

[Untouchable_Fire]

The "50% divorce rate" (I love how that number changes every time someone mentions it on here) tells you that:

 

- single mothers all had their children with "bad boys"

If they had children with quality men... why are they single?

- single mothers all ignored "the good man" 10 years prior

If she didn't ignore good guys then the father is one, and she just has no interest in having a relationship with a good guy.

- single mothers put out for "bad boys" but not for the poor "good man"

Since an upwards of 60% cheat on their husbands... Can you say this isnt true?

- single mothers were all married and then filed for divorce

I don't think he said that.

 

That's incredible. How'd you get so much information out of that number? You must be a clairvoyant.

I'm also amazed that the analysis you got out of that number matches all the other assumptions and beliefs you've posted in other threads regarding other topics. What a coincidence.

 

Besides... I think 50% for the divorce rate is on the low end.

 

They get this number by looking at the number of marriages in a year and comparing to the number of divorces. The actual chances your marriage will end in divorce is about 30% every year for the first 5 years then slowly decreasing over time.

 

So for anyone born after 1970, your chances that your marriage will last 50 years is somewhat like flipping a coin 20 times and each time landing on heads. 1 tails and it's splitsville.

[GooseChaser]

I read a thread recently on whether being a single mom changes your access to men. I noticed most of the younger guys had no interest in dating a single mother long term, while the older men tended to not have hangups about it.

 

The one thing that really caught my eye was the overall attitude of single mothers posting in the thread... and it actually seems to reflect a consistent attitude among the general population of Single Mothers.

 

When I'm going on a date, my attitude reflects my interests in showing my date what I have to offer in a relationship. I silently evaluate the same in my date. This seems to be exact the opposite strategy I see from SM. Which looking back on the few I have dated, I would say all but 1 took a very similar approach to dating.

 

I can understand and wholeheartedly support the impetus to be choosy, but the universe doesn't owe a woman the perfect man simply because she already has a child. It isn't enough to sit and loudly list off what you deserve or desire in a mate... you have to have something to offer in return.

 

Which leads me to the question. Is this attitude defensive posturing due to being perceived by some men as less because of having a child? Is it just an attitude that is really prevalent in the female population because demand is so high that attitude and behavior matter little? Is what she has to offer supposed to be so obvious as to not require the effort of displaying it?

The single mothers can want whatever they want in a man. Of course, often what they want will be different from what they can get. Why care if they ask for too much? The only person they are hurting by being too choosy is themselves. You can just walk away and find someone more compatible for yourself.

 

Maybe they're single for a reason! Too picky or difficult!

[Mad Max]

Hey I still have to watch out for entitled women like single mothers and all the other different types of entitled women.

 

I consider myself good looking but I still have to approach women, flirt, ask them out, then touch/kiss on the date and be romantic.

 

I've been in a seriouse relationship for over 2 years now but I had been single for over a year before that. And even though I was going out on dates with different girls it took meeting A LOT of girls before I fourd the perfect one.

 

 

I don't know. I never really needed to approach women or ask them out and still ended up with dates and relationships.

[Green]

I don't know. I never really needed to approach women or ask them out and still ended up with dates and relationships.

 

I could get dates this way too a girl I dated on and off for over a year was actualy a girl who originaly showed her interest in me although I didn't wait for her to ask me out and did it myself. But my current gf would have never happened if I was to scared or lazy ect. to approach girls I found attractive. It also puts you in a better position to avoid entitled women.

[Untouchable_Fire]

The single mothers can want whatever they want in a man. Of course, often what they want will be different from what they can get. Why care if they ask for too much? The only person they are hurting by being too choosy is themselves. You can just walk away and find someone more compatible for yourself.

Maybe they're single for a reason! Too picky or difficult!

 

Huh? Do you think they just sit around single forever?

 

What you usually find is that when those expectations and entitlements never come to fruition... they settle for men who they consider well below what they want. Often times still pining away for a guy they couldn't get.

 

So... what happens when you marry a man who you feel is beneath you? She treats him like crap... cheat... and all sorts of poor behavior that American women are infamous for.

 

A great example is that thread where all the ladies said they were entitled to men who are not abusive and are completely faithful. Furthermore that they have these rights by birth... and thus have no need to care about whether a man possesses these positive traits or not... because all men should.

[Untouchable_Fire]

I could get dates this way too a girl I dated on and off for over a year was actualy a girl who originaly showed her interest in me although I didn't wait for her to ask me out and did it myself. But my current gf would have never happened if I was to scared or lazy ect. to approach girls I found attractive. It also puts you in a better position to avoid entitled women.

 

How is that?

[Mad Max]

How is that?

 

 

I'd like to know the same thing.

[Green]

How is that?

 

well my opinion is that the men who date "single mothers" are usualy that is statisticaly men WITHOUT OPTIONS... so by askign women out and TRYING you only gain OPTIONS. Obviously indiviuals arn't statistics thought.

[GooseChaser]

Huh? Do you think they just sit around single forever?

 

What you usually find is that when those expectations and entitlements never come to fruition... they settle for men who they consider well below what they want. Often times still pining away for a guy they couldn't get.

 

So... what happens when you marry a man who you feel is beneath you? She treats him like crap... cheat... and all sorts of poor behavior that American women are infamous for.

 

A great example is that thread where all the ladies said they were entitled to men who are not abusive and are completely faithful. Furthermore that they have these rights by birth... and thus have no need to care about whether a man possesses these positive traits or not... because all men should.

I feel bad for people who marry just for that reason-- because they couldn't find anyone better-- and even more for the person they married.

 

I personally plan to keep looking until I meet someone that I consider my equal or better. I will be aiming for advanced degrees past a bachelor's, so that will help me meet another well-educated person... probably. I also have a strong moral code which, while being a bit less strict than my parents' code, will lead me to maintain good behavior and treat him well.

 

Of course no one wants their significant other to be abusive or unfaithful. I'm not sure if that's a right, though. There are solutions to those problems, at least; the person can attempt to work it out with the other, and if either of those things gets extreme, it becomes a dealbreaker, and they can always divorce. Could someone give an example of what IS a fair right to feel entitled to in a relationship? It would help to have elaboration on this.

[GooseChaser]

How is that?

When you choose the women you go out with, you can choose to avoid women whom you find are entitled.

[Mad Max]

When you choose the women you go out with, you can choose to avoid women whom you find are entitled.

 

 

The same can be said for women in that if they become proactive, they can avoid players.

[GooseChaser]

The same can be said for women in that if they become proactive, they can avoid players.

That's good advice. As you know, women once had much less opportunity and choice in the world. Now we are becoming more educated and independent, and I'm sure that will lead to a growing trend of proactive women.

[jimbo]

That's good advice. As you know, women once had much less opportunity and choice in the world. Now we are becoming more educated and independent, and I'm sure that will lead to a growing trend of proactive women.

 

Yet, you want chivalry, men to pick up the tab, ask you out on the date, decide where to go, led the relationship... Yep, really equal genders.