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Should I just move on? Is my new plan a good idea?


JustARandomGuy

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JustARandomGuy

Just for a bit of background, I've always been a fairly shy person, especially when talking to people in groups especially of 4+ people(It's like I feel pressured to look cool in front of everyone) although I'm much more comfortable in talking 1on1 or with 2 people. I've been especially bad with girls and most of the time I'm just completely ignored by them because of my awkwardness.

 

Anyways this year I moved, and changed schools. One day I met this girl who was also new and I don't know how I did it but it was extremely easy to talk to her, it's like all of my usual shyness was just gone. Neither of us had friends so we would sit together and talk a lot and I really thought I was getting somewhere. She memorized my schedule and made an effort to try and see me throughout the day. I even had a time where a random guy I didn't even know came up to me telling me that I should go for it because he thought that she liked me. Most of my plans got ruined though because of her tendency to take long trips which caused her to be gone on many weekends and really delayed my plans to ask her out early.

 

Then suddenly, she started to make friends and ended up getting a group of girls that she hung out with. I made a few friends but they didn't know each other well so I never really talked to them as a group. What ended up happening is that I continued to hang around with her but with me being the only guy(at first, later there was 1 other guy) in the group things started to get weird. This is where I think I screwed up probably. I didn't realize this fast enough and I just got thrown in with all her other new friends, I wasn't anything special anymore. I started to give off the impression to her other friends that I was hanging around them just because she was there. People eventually realized how I felt about her and though she hasn't mentioned it I think it's basically guaranteed that one of them mentioned this to her or that she figured it out herself. Then she started being somewhat more flirty then usual. Then that stopped. I think she was seriously just messing with me at this point or maybe she realized I was kind of desperate. I just wouldn't give up though after getting this far and I probably just dug myself deeper into the friend zone because of this. The final thing was when I asked her if she was going to a party, a question that could have easily led to me asking her out and I think she realized this and tried to avoid it by saying that she was too busy studying for finals. She ended up changing her mind the day before and going anyways though. I interpreted this as her avoiding the question although some of my friends thought I was over analyzing and that she really just did change her mind.

 

Anyways now I've decided to just give up. I messed this up probably because I got too attached and came off as desperate after a point because I had never spent this much time with a girl before. Now I kind of feel like I've wasted too much time. Next semester I think I will just not make any extra effort to talk to her.My plan is to just talk to new people from now on and only talk to her if she comes up to me, I won't be making any extra effort to talk to her. At least the one thing I've gained from this is that my social skills and confidence have improved a lot. I'm still kind of shy, but not nearly as much as before. One problem is that I'm worried people will notice my abrupt change in attitude. I really don't want people wondering if something happened between me and her and I hope to avoid her confronting me about talking to her less. But I also don't want to just keep going on this path that is taking me nowhere.

 

I just want advice on whether this new plan is a good idea, mainly for myself to just move on and not waste anymore time on her, she's a good friend as well and I don't want to lose that either but I think it's just best for me if I try and forget about her as much as possible.

 

The only weird thing left confusing me is that she does not talk to other guys besides me. Besides me, she really has never had an extended conversation with any guy that I know of. I don't know if she's shy or what but this is basically why some people really thought I had a chance because I had "zero competition" as they put it. She has never had a boyfriend before either.

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