New job old problems/maybe

[tac719]

I've posted about my wife's jealousies, so there is a history. We have been working together on this at a couples counseling session. It does seem to be helping some, more or less a wait and see.

Good part. I'm starting a new job of course in a new office. The company had a VIP interview for spouses of new hires, to help foster a healthy working environment. My wife thinks the job would be beneficial in the long run for me and our family financially and also stability wise.

 

Problem. She is already very insecure about the secretary there, who was young and attractive. She also saw another woman there who made her feel uneasy. During the presentation she did not make any hint of this to my future employer, which was good. Actually she asked some very good questions. The presentation included the fact that they a couple times a year have sales meetings in different cities. My wife stipulated to me later that she didin't trust me enough to go alone and that she would want to go. One was in Vegas which I do understand. How do you handle a spouses insecurities about your job. I'm sure a lot of people have run into this.

 

Also, she said she was feeling left out in regards to my new career. We were going to do a pros and cons list. I told her I would come up with a list myself and afterward apologized and saying that I wanted her input. I guess I was afraid she wasn't going to be objective. How is the best way to include her without including her to much if you know what I mean. I need a little independence and want to feel like it is my career. I do want to do what is best for all of us.

 

I have to go back to the office today to turn in some paperwork and ask any additional questions I may have. My wife was upset that I didn't act like I wanted her to go. Should I have asked her to go?

[P1xie]

I don't think there was a need for her to go. She went to the meeting which your company provided for spouses. It would of been unprofessional for her to go to your final meeting (At least at my company it would of been)

 

I work in a office of a manufacturing place and my boyfriend gets jealous sometimes but not to that extreme.

 

Like if I look real nice for work he goes "Now all the boys will be staring at you". He just makes comments but he never expects to come to my work on work related issues.

 

If you feel you need to help her with her insecurities ask her to come to your work for lunch. Maybe she will lighten up by thinking why would he invite me to his work if there was something going on.

 

As for feeling left out, you are the one that has to be at work for 8 or more hours a day she needs remember

My wife thinks the job would be beneficial in the long run for me and our family financially and also stability wise.

 

That is the most important.