OW -1st post

[AlektraClementine]

Ultimately it was his choice. He's only now realizing and taking responsibility for it though. She made rules for his boys in their house and he enforced them. There was never a visitation contract with his x so the boys decided to never come to his house because they didn't have the same rules at their mother's house. He never took responsibility before for his own actions in letting them stay away, he is now.

 

Is this report of the past events solely from him or have you spoken to his current and ex wife and children?

[calliope]

Is this report of the past events solely from him or have you spoken to his current and ex wife and children?

From him. But he told me that long before we were in a relationship. I know of other people that he also told - people that he would have no ulterior motive for telling.

 

When he left last week, he showed me an e-mail his sis sent him that said, "hopefully now you'll be able to get your relationship with your boys back..."

[AlektraClementine]

From him. But he told me that long before we were in a relationship. I know of other people that he also told - people that he would have no ulterior motive for telling.

 

When he left last week, he showed me an e-mail his sis sent him that said, "hopefully now you'll be able to get your relationship with your boys back..."

 

Newsflash. Men who don't do right by their children lie about it to anyone who'll listen. Not just the people they're having sex with.

 

Not taking care of one's children is embarrassing. These d'bags make up all kinds of stories to hide their fatherly shortcomings from everyone.

 

Once again, have you spoken to his ex wife, children, or current wife?

 

Here's my thought. I would think that if you want to spend the rest of your life with a man, you might want to verify that he's not a total scumbag loser of a father.

[pureinheart]

Ultimately it was his choice. He's only now realizing and taking responsibility for it though. She made rules for his boys in their house and he enforced them. There was never a visitation contract with his x so the boys decided to never come to his house because they didn't have the same rules at their mother's house. He never took responsibility before for his own actions in letting them stay away, he is now.

 

Wow Calli, it sounds like he has a lot he is dealing with...losts of realisations. Sorry if that last post sounded b*tchy...there are some unresolved (obviously) issues where the kids and their dads are concerned.

 

You know..it's just hard for all of you right now...(((((((((((hugs to all))))))))))

[half_ofa_heart]

From him. But he told me that long before we were in a relationship. I know of other people that he also told - people that he would have no ulterior motive for telling.

 

When he left last week, he showed me an e-mail his sis sent him that said, "hopefully now you'll be able to get your relationship with your boys back..."

 

Keep your head up Hon, the truth always manages to surface. You will figure this out. Give yourself time.

[calliope]

Wow Calli, it sounds like he has a lot he is dealing with...losts of realisations. Sorry if that last post sounded b*tchy...there are some unresolved (obviously) issues where the kids and their dads are concerned.

 

You know..it's just hard for all of you right now...(((((((((((hugs to all))))))))))

He's told me he knows he's been less than an ideal father and it kills him now. He's always supported them financially and been there when they come to him, but he did let them slip away to build his life with her.

 

Now it eats at him and he beats himself up about it - all you have to do is look at him to see that. He's the type that wears his heart on his sleeve and since I've gotten to know him, it's been very easy for me to read what he's feeling. I refuse to believe everything he's said to me is a lie. He's a good man with a good heart and I know being with me has caused him a lot of anguish, yet he continues to do it...

[calliope]

Keep your head up Hon, the truth always manages to surface. You will figure this out. Give yourself time.

Thank you, I'm trying. It's just that the clock seems to go so slowly sometimes.

[Billie63]

Oh geez....

 

Every OW on the planet ASSUMES the BS is there trying to manipulate, feed insecurities, guilt the lying, cheating no-good MM into staying "for the sake of the children."

 

When so many of us fBS, especially after discovering they are still lying about their involvement with the AP, say "Go get her, and don't let the door hit you in the a** on the way out."

 

....and when they realize how much we mean it, come crawling, begging, pleading to come home.

 

And tell the OW, "I need to go work on my marriage. I have to give it one more shot."

 

It's from the affair script. Everyone knows that.

 

I know that hon. I'm talking on the presumption that this particular MM is telling the whole truth about the state of his relationship with BS. Some men do actually want out of the marriage. And if he is telling the truth about this marriage, there's not much keeping him there is there? Not the usual story of "I can't leave my kids." On the contrary if he leaves he stands a better chance of building a better relationship with his kids - that's if he's telling the truth.