is anyone still in love?

[apple25]

I'm new here and I'm wondering is anyone in a long time relationship and they are still happy? I would love to hear some good stories about marriages and relationships working out.

[Iconoclast]

I adore her. She smells like beautiful and tastes like delicious. Almost 14 years married and dated 'bout 4, two kids.

[giotto]

I would love to hear some good stories about marriages and relationships working out.

 

I won't tell you mine, then...

[fltc]

I'm not sure, I've been in an exclusive relationship with someone since 1974, I'm very happy so maybe it's a good relatioship but it's probably too soon to tell. Give us some time to get to know each other better....

[She's_NotInLove_w/Me]

I'm not sure, I've been in an exclusive relationship with someone since 1974, I'm very happy so maybe it's a good relatioship but it's probably too soon to tell. Give us some time to get to know each other better....

 

LOL!!!!! Love it!

 

I have been married alomst 17 years, together over 18... My wife would likely not define her marital experience as one of total satisfaction and perfect companionship (neither would I, I suppose)! But I know that she and I are BOTH definitely in love, and need and want one another!

 

The love and desire to be together and remain a family is what I always fall back on when things seem tough, or hard to deal with, or even, down-in-the-gutter-bottom-of-the-barrell hopeless!

[UnifiedFieldTheory]

I'm new here and I'm wondering is anyone in a long time relationship and they are still happy? I would love to hear some good stories about marriages and relationships working out.

 

 

I've been married for over 25 years. We had both graduated from college about two years prior to our marriage. There was another in my life before I met my now wife, and I would have asked her to marry me. In a way, I still consider this other person the love of my life. I thought she was forever from my reach, and I moved on.

 

My wife of over 25 years is still so beautiful, still so thoughtful, still so intelligent in a common sense kind of way. She had an affair years ago. She regrets it to this day, and can't forgive herself. Sometimes she drinks too much.

 

A few months ago, this other person (the one I referred to as the love of my life) contacted me. I could see myself falling all over again. After just a few conversations, I knew she is still the same person now she was then. Then I noticed that she had changed my e-mail name to that of a woman. I realized that I was headed down a slippery slope. I found this site.

 

I realized I was being unethical, and nothing good could possibly come of contact with this other person - the love of my life. All contact stopped months ago.

 

I look at my wife and I see all the reasons I married her are still there. I would do anything for her, even to the point of turning my back on the love of my life. And here is the simple reason. My wife and I have created a wonderful life together. We have beautiful children. We have plans for the future. None of those specifics exist with the love of my life.

 

I saw a quote a while ago, I don't know how valid it is, but I'll share it.

 

“The mark of a mature man is a certain scar he bears: the memory of a perfect woman never won, or of a once-true love forever lost. However much he may love you, he is only here because she is not.”

 

Now... does that cause me sorrow? No... and for one simple reason. I realize that in life we can't have everything we want - not without paying a very dear price. No marriage is without its problems. It's how they're addressed, and maybe not always solved, that makes the difference.

 

Thanks for your time. Never stop searching

[UnifiedFieldTheory]

Regarding the above, I guess what I'm saying is... what is happiness? If it's satisfaction, comfort, being hopeful and grateful, and experiencing life with open eyes and still loving it - then yes, I'm happy.

[Snowflower]

I've been married for over 25 years. We had both graduated from college about two years prior to our marriage. There was another in my life before I met my now wife, and I would have asked her to marry me. In a way, I still consider this other person the love of my life. I thought she was forever from my reach, and I moved on.

 

My wife of over 25 years is still so beautiful, still so thoughtful, still so intelligent in a common sense kind of way. She had an affair years ago. She regrets it to this day, and can't forgive herself. Sometimes she drinks too much.

 

A few months ago, this other person (the one I referred to as the love of my life) contacted me. I could see myself falling all over again. After just a few conversations, I knew she is still the same person now she was then. Then I noticed that she had changed my e-mail name to that of a woman. I realized that I was headed down a slippery slope. I found this site.

 

I realized I was being unethical, and nothing good could possibly come of contact with this other person - the love of my life. All contact stopped months ago.

 

I look at my wife and I see all the reasons I married her are still there. I would do anything for her, even to the point of turning my back on the love of my life. And here is the simple reason. My wife and I have created a wonderful life together. We have beautiful children. We have plans for the future. None of those specifics exist with the love of my life.

 

Unified, this is a humbling and very realistic post. I agree that no marriage is perfect and that there is more than one perfect person out there for everyone.

 

I'm glad you saw the dangerous road ahead of you and opted to take the one that will (hopefully) offer you continued happiness and contentment. Like the quote mentioned below, it is a sign of maturity.

 

But that quote also really bothers me. Do you believe this to be true for you?

 

 

I saw a quote a while ago, I don't know how valid it is, but I'll share it.

 

“The mark of a mature man is a certain scar he bears: the memory of a perfect woman never won, or of a once-true love forever lost. However much he may love you, he is only here because she is not.”

 

If my husband felt this way about another woman I would very much feel like the default option.

[quankanne]

happiness is relative ... after all, when reality comes pounding at the front door, all those sweet and easy times get tested. But it's not necessarily a bad thing, because it's meant to help to fortify a relationship.

 

am I still in love? Considering I hate that phrase because it's so freaking conditional, I'll put it this way: After more than 18 years of marriage and 20 years together, oh yeah, the love's still fresh. Even those days I want to pinch his fool head off, it runs strong ...

[UnifiedFieldTheory]

 

But that quote also really bothers me. Do you believe this to be true for you?

 

If my husband felt this way about another woman I would very much feel like the default option.

 

 

Hi Snowflower. It's complicated like most things in life. So, I''ll say with some small level of uncertainty: no, it's not true for me. At the same time, I don't think there is any marriage where one spouse doesn't say to themselves "if only..."

 

When big trouble arises, I think we all doubt our decisions and ourselves - even if only for a short time.

 

I definitely did not "settle". My beautiful wife was wonderful, gracious and loving then. And she is now. Thinking about her as I type this - I smile. There were never any doubts from the time of my proposal to the the time of my marriage. Of course doubt creeps in from time to time after 26 years, unless you're Dr. Phil.

 

I will tip my hat to LS. This other person I spoke of is still drop dead gorgeous. I know that if I would have "played my cards right" the relationship would have escalated to a PA. Reading the posts here from BS and OP and WH and WW helped me put everything into perspective. I did look at options and tried to rationalize the reason for seeking affections elsewhere - and I think I came out the other side unscathed.

 

Of course, if one is inclined to have an affair, I think very little will stop them. As for me... I can't wait to get home and hug my wife.

 

Guess I'm still just a sappy romantic - at the age of 52.

[Maxxx]

happiness is relative ... after all, when reality comes pounding at the front door, all those sweet and easy times get tested. But it's not necessarily a bad thing, because it's meant to help to fortify a relationship.

 

am I still in love? Considering I hate that phrase because it's so freaking conditional, I'll put it this way: After more than 18 years of marriage and 20 years together, oh yeah, the love's still fresh. Even those days I want to pinch his fool head off, it runs strong ...

 

I love that last line LOL just say'n

[Linda9999]

My husband and I get along very well, we have great sex, and we cherish each other. I love waking up next to him, seeing him at the end of the day, holding his hand, watching TV with him...............I could go on. We've been married 9 1/2 years, together for 14.

 

I am recovering from his infidelity, though, and am learning it's possible to still love him under those conditions. When I found out in March I never would have thought it was possible.

 

Am I happy? Right now I would not call what I am happy. There are many things about my life right now I would change if I could. But I am committed, and I know that if I keep at it, I will find happiness again.

[UnsureinSeattle]

I wish I could answer this more positively. Relationship of over 10 years... some great, some not so good. Sometimes I think I am truly still in love with her, but then there's a harsh word, or my SO clams up and doesn't tell me what's on her mind (or any other number of things) and my feelings of love turn into feelings of resentment, or, possibly worse, apathy.

[Woggle]

I notice how it is mostly men answering.

[Stung]

I notice how it is mostly men answering.

 

Yeah, it's really a nice change after the last SEVERAL threads about happy relationships, which were almost all female-driven. And I know you saw those, Woggle, because you posted in the last one that it made you feel better to read them.

 

I have only been with my husband five and a half years, not so long compared to some others on this thread. We are very much in love, I love and respect him immensely, I'm proud of him. He's my lover, my best friend, the father of my son. Yes, there are sometimes days when I want to pinch his fool head off, as per Quank's phrasing, but most days I am so grateful we found each other, feel so lucky that I'm going to grow old holding his hand. I love his intelligence, his humor, his voice, his smile, his big hands--and just the other day I was in another thread telling everyone what a cute butt he has.

[Snowflower]

Hi Snowflower. It's complicated like most things in life. So, I''ll say with some small level of uncertainty: no, it's not true for me. At the same time, I don't think there is any marriage where one spouse doesn't say to themselves "if only..."

 

Oh I agree. Even in the happiest of marriages, I think there is always a little time of doubt. Maybe some people don't admit it, but I think its completely normal.

 

Even my parents' marriage: happy and sound for 40 years...but my mom told me a couple of times when there were times when she had doubts.

 

No marriage is all happily ever after all the time. Life just doesn't work that way.

I definitely did not "settle". My beautiful wife was wonderful, gracious and loving then. And she is now. Thinking about her as I type this - I smile. There were never any doubts from the time of my proposal to the the time of my marriage. Of course doubt creeps in from time to time after 26 years, unless you're Dr. Phil.

 

This is great!

 

I will tip my hat to LS. This other person I spoke of is still drop dead gorgeous. I know that if I would have "played my cards right" the relationship would have escalated to a PA. Reading the posts here from BS and OP and WH and WW helped me put everything into perspective. I did look at options and tried to rationalize the reason for seeking affections elsewhere - and I think I came out the other side unscathed.

 

I'm so glad to read this and that the advice you read on LS stopped you from making a decision I'm sure you would have deeply regretted. You seem to love your wife deeply and a person who still feels that way about their spouse-even with the doubts and disappointments mixed in-is ill-equipped to conduct an affair.

[UnifiedFieldTheory]

I'm so glad to read this and that the advice you read on LS stopped you from making a decision I'm sure you would have deeply regretted. You seem to love your wife deeply and a person who still feels that way about their spouse-even with the doubts and disappointments mixed in-is ill-equipped to conduct an affair.

 

Me too, Snowflower. And yet, I do not sit here in judgement of those that have strayed. I understand the need to find affection. I too have felt alone in my marriage from time to time. For me also, it was a question of this former love's conscience. I care for her deeply still, and do not want to be the source of guilt feelings on her behalf. I care for myself enough to not want to be a convenience for someone - I deserve more than to be second in my lover's life. And of course, I care for my wife, and imagining what breaking my vows would do to her stops me. I couldn't bear to see her cry over a mistake such as my infidelity.

 

This place, Loveshack, helped me see the potential consequences of breaking my promises. And I was so very close to doing that. So thank you all!

[hoping2heal]

Very much in love and definately happy. We have had a lot of challenges, particularly early on. It's amazing we got through what we did with all the turbulance, but I guess there was just something about each other that the other always held fast too.

 

I have learned how to be a better and more honest communicator, a better listener, the depth of my love for that man...He is my real-to-life dream. We really cannot get enough of one another.

 

There's a real security in what is built over both time but also, hardships. As quankanne mentioned those rocky times are what fortify our relationships. They make our bonds so much stronger. The depth of love we can feel is so much more intense.

 

Some days I get so irritated with him..and then 15 seconds later I am smiling, cause who am I kidding? I don't love every decision he makes or every thing he chooses to do..but oh my my, I certainly do love that wonderful, amazing, beautiful, man. :love:

[Woggle]

Yeah I saw them.

[giotto]

if you are in love, never leave it too late if things go wrong... talk... communication is a priority.

[quankanne]

I love that last line LOL just say'n it's my version of a reality check :laugh:

 

*swoons* for all the folks who mentioned hand-holding. Gah! That's the one thing that he does that absolutely turns me into a puddle even after all this time ... so utterly romantic :love:

[george44]

No. My love stopped after my W lied to me about seeing an old "friend".

[Afishwithabike]

I've been happily married for the last ten years. I love him and he loves me. He's my best friend, lover, and father to my young child. Do I love him with the same wild butterflies in the stomach passion I did as a young 20-year old? Probably not. That euphoric feeling is gone, but that love grew into something solid, comfortable, and just as satisfying. Back in the old days, just seeing him walk into the same lecture room would make my heart pound wildly. I was insanely jealous of his past girlfriends and really any other girl that spoke to him on campus.

 

There are days now when he drives me nuts and I know I drive him nuts too, but the vast majority of the time, we're very happy with each other and our arguments are resolved pretty quickly. He's still my best friend. I could spend a few hours just talking to him about anything and nothing and still have a good time. It doesn't hurt that he still has the same body he did back in college.

We try to have a date night a few times a month if we can get a relative to watch our child. I think if couples keep every part of the relationship strong including sex, attention, communication, fun, doing things together, there wouldn't be as much of a desire to roam.

Edited December 10, 2010 by Afishwithabike